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  • #1

    Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

    So I have to say I'm just a little bit P.O.'d right now. That means Pissed Off. At all of you.

    At Men's Prayer Breakfast on Monday week before last, I told you all about my ingrown toenail, and I received assurances from everyone in the room that you would all keep my toenail in your prayers. Well, I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon, and I was told that they would have to remove the toenail and deaden the nerve endings so it doesn't grow back. So now not only am I going to have to undergo a painful procedure, I will be forever mauled because some people were too lazy or negligent to include me in their prayers.

    I have to say, I'm very disappointed in all of you. It's enough to make me wonder if I'm the only True True Christian™ coming to Monday Men's Prayer Breakfast.
    II Thessalonians 1:7-9
    And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
    In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
    Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
    The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
    Tags: power of prayer
  • #2
    Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

    Originally posted by Jedediah View Post
    So I have to say I'm just a little bit P.O.'d right now. That means Pissed Off. At all of you.

    I will be forever mauled because some people were too lazy or negligent to include me in their prayers.
    My sincere sympathies, Brother Jedediah. You have every right to by angry. An ingrown toenail is such a simple problem, one member's prayer would have God on the case and you would have quickly healed.

    I feel badly myself. I often attend the Monday Morning Men's Prayer Breakfast and have seen several men healed from problems that range from cancer to bad wives. Mayor's business took me out of town Monday.

    I don't want to be unreasonable here to the men of Freehold, but if the Freehold City Government pays for your breakfast, it seems like each man should feel a little obligation to be accountable. It would have taken just a minute to have prayed for Brother Jedidiah's ailment.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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    • #3
      Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

      Now Jedediah , stop being so impatient. Even though I am sure every single member of the Freehold Chrystal Cathedral™ has been praying for your toe., God is a busy man. I am sure He has you on His 'Miracles To-Do' list.
      Galatians 6:9
      And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

      Psalm 37:7-9
      7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
      8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
      9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth.

      As far as 'doctors', keep the following in mind.
      Leviticus 19:28
      Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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      • #4
        Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

        God answers all prayers brother. This time the answer was no.
        Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.

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        • #5
          Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

          Jed,

          If the Lord hasn't healed your ingrown nail, it's your own fault! It simply means you didn't have enough faith.

          It is NOT because prayer doesn't work and it certainly isn't because OUR prayers didn't work.

          James 5:15-16 tells us that prayer works for the sick.
          Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


          sigpic

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          • #6
            Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

            I prayed for your toenail, although I couldn't remember which one, so I might have prayed for the wrong toe. Please forgive me for that.
            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

              Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
              Jed,

              If the Lord hasn't healed your ingrown nail, it's your own fault! It simply means you didn't have enough faith.

              It is NOT because prayer doesn't work and it certainly isn't because OUR prayers didn't work.

              James 5:15-16 tells us that prayer works for the sick.
              If that is the case should he still get to keep his Prayer Warrior medal ?
              Posted via Pasta

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              • #8
                Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

                Of course, it is the thought that counts - the motive to our actions. Our actions themselves are chaff before the wind, for is it not written:

                Eph:2:8: For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
                Eph:2:9: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

                The problem that Brother Jedediah has is that God is not bound by time, whilst we earthly souls are. "A thousand ages in his sight, are like an evening gone." as Jesus said. So God is up there and, to His Ineffable Mightiness, it's only just this very moment that the words of the Prayer Warriors rang in His Perfect Inner Ear.
                sigpic


                “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                Author of such illuminating essays as,
                Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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                • #9
                  Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

                  Originally posted by Jedediah View Post
                  Well, I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon, and I was told that they would have to remove the toenail and deaden the nerve endings so it doesn't grow back. So now not only am I going to have to undergo a painful procedure, I will be forever mauled because some people were too lazy or negligent to include me in their prayers.
                  I was going to pray for your toenail, but there's this podiatrist I know who needed a faith blessing of a new Ferrari, so I told him that I'd pray for him to get some more patients, and after I finished with that I completely forgo....

                  .... oh no. This is all my fault. I'm sorry, brother. I hope you'll see it in your heart to forgive me.
                  The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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                  • #10
                    Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

                    Oh dearest Brother Jedediah, don't loose heart! The LORD answers ALL prayers of True Christians™! It may be that the answer to your prayer is to wait, but then again, it may be that the answer to your prayer is that God has something Better than miraculous healing; You may be invited to GLORIFY GOD through GANGRENE! Why, imagine it, Brother, what if the LORD chooses to turn your toe gangrenous, and blesses you with a staff infection! What if the LORD uses you as a great instrument to share His Glory even in times of apparent dread! Oh think of it, dear Brother, you could be a witness to God's Love even as your flesh dies from the toe up, damaging your internal organs, and finally your brain, but before that you praise His Holy Name and bring others to Christ! Then you would be richly rewarded in Heaven for all eternity! Oh, I'm almost envious! Jesus might be right at this very moment beginning your journey to Glorify Him through Your Painful and Torturous Suffering!


                    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

                      What did you expect for $50?
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        What did you expect for $50?
                        He only gave you 50 bucks?
                        WWJDnow told me he paid him $250, even then the idiot could get the prayer right!
                        Posted via Pasta

                        True Pastafarian™

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                        • #13
                          Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

                          Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                          He only gave you 50 bucks?
                          WWJDnow told me he paid him $250, even then the idiot could get the prayer right!
                          Nobody wants to hear your lies, Jo Freddie. Had Brother Jed paid me $250 for a prayer, he would have had a brand new foot by now. Anyway, I don't embezzle Church funds. Fuel for the pastoral private jet fleet is expensive, and the money to pay for that has to come from somewhere. That's why Jesus told us to hold prayer breakfasts.
                          The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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                          • #14
                            Re: Men of Monday Prayer Breakfast: So you all said you would pray for me. What gives?

                            Originally posted by WWJDnow View Post
                            Nobody wants to hear your lies, Jo Freddie. Had Brother Jed paid me $250 for a prayer, he would have had a brand new foot by now. Anyway, I don't embezzle Church funds. Fuel for the pastoral private jet fleet is expensive, and the money to pay for that has to come from somewhere. That's why Jesus told us to hold prayer breakfasts.
                            Sorry my misunderstanding, I thought you meant he had given you the $250 to keep, I didn't realise it is just resting in your account till the aviation fuel invoice arrives.
                            Posted via Pasta

                            True Pastafarian™

                            May my Sauce be with you!
                            Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                            Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                            The Loose Canon - HTML version
                            Loose Canon Fan Page
                            North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                            I have been to The Volcano!

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