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  • BrotherLarry
    Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2014
    • 2266
    #1

    Attention JamesH.B

    Brother James,


    How wonderful that your homely - um, comely daughter has found someone with enough Christmas Spirit to woo and wed her. I am concerned, however, that you're waiting too long to set that special date - the one that permits her to finally leave your house and settle in with, um, John, is it?


    Considering the advanced age of your precious lamb, I would make haste to ensure this one doesn't get away from her like the last one did. (Rumor has it that he was scared away by your guns.)


    I'm sure the pastors here will counsel you about finalizing the wedding if you need it. I leave you with this: Jesus is coming soon. Don't wait until it's too late to see your darling daughter wed.


    Respectfully,
    BrotherLarry
    (Revelation 22:12)
    Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
    “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

    Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
    Amen and Amen
    Tags: None
    • JamesH.B
      Unsaved trash
       
      • Dec 2018
      • 54
      #2
      Re: Attention JamesH.B

      Thank you for your concern, Brother Larry. I have made it clear to Esther (and John) that I want her married and out of the house by the time she turns 28 (in mid-December).

      I am currently in the process of thoroughly "investigating" John and his family to make sure that he doesn't have any (or not as many) godless relatives like Samuel had. Also, the rumor about my guns scaring Samuel off is correct, but I do have to give Esther some credit for her fine rebuking skills when he started cursing at her and calling her a "loon". I never thought I'd say this about her, but she made me so proud. It was as if James 4:7 was being played out right in front of me.


      I would be honored if the pastors here would counsel me, but I wouldn't want to waste their time on a man like myself, who is currently labeled as "Unsaved Trash".

        Comment

        • Dennis Lukes
          Innkeeper for Christ
          True Christian™
          • Dec 2018
          • 2388
          #3
          Re: Attention JamesH.B

          Originally posted by JamesH.B View Post
          I would be honored if the pastors here would counsel me, but I wouldn't want to waste their time on a man like myself, who is currently labeled as "Unsaved Trash".
          Personally, I made the transition from unsaved trash to forum member through prayer and the love of Christ. Have you tried that? Maybe then you'd be worthy of a True Christian pastor's notice.
          I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
          Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
          But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
          From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

            Comment

            • JamesH.B
              Unsaved trash
               
              • Dec 2018
              • 54
              #4
              Re: Attention JamesH.B

              Originally posted by Dennis Lukes View Post
              Personally, I made the transition from unsaved trash to forum member through prayer and the love of Christ. Have you tried that? Maybe then you'd be worthy of a True Christian pastor's notice.
              I have been trying that, but it seems like God wants me to wait a little longer. I'm sure that it will happen in time, just like Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says.

                Comment

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