Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions remain

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Tiger Woods, golfer and affirmative-action recipient, has been injured in a car crash. Was it an accident? Or something far kinkier? Controversy is raging.

Our high level sources say that a post-accident blood sample from Tiger Woods showed large amounts of malt liquor and crack cocaine. Other sources say the blood was in fact hymen blood from either Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato (or more likely of mixture of hymen blood from both).



Some witness say that Tiger Woods was clean that day, and that the tree totally jumped in front of him, with Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato showing up to provide first aid, in the form of mouth-to-mouth and mouth-to-various-bodypart rescusitation.

Pastors have obtained photos and video of the crash, and urge caution. It could just be Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato lookalikes in the photos. They will release the photos and video once they have dealt with the legal questions surrounding the release of underage nude photos of Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato.

[Roadwarriorforchrist]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

I took half a week for them to decide to issue a $162 citation...........THAT is what all the drama and repeated attempts to meet with him were about? to issue a ticket that should have been issued on site at the time? who teaches these florida cops how to investigate? "duuur ok 1 car, 1 driver...........broken hydrant............tree..............duur who should i ticket?..........I'm leaning towards the hydrant, but we better investigate more" If anyone here is from florida I hope you are outraged at however much of your tax money went into 4 days of investigation for a $162 fine, not even repayment of the damage caused?

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

The LORD revealed a joke to me today:


What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?


Both have been clubbed by Scandinavians.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

The LORD revealed a joke to me today:


What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals?


Both have been clubbed by Scandinavians.

For thoughts like this, you should really keep a journal.
Why bore others needlessly?

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

For thoughts like this, you should really keep a journal.
Why bore others needlessly?

Because God told me to tell as many as I could:

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.


Elin found out he’s not a Tiger, he’s a Cheetah.


Tiger just hates it when he drives, and then his balls hit a tree.


Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She’s teaching Phil Mickelson how to beat Tiger.


Tiger’s confused. Every other time he made a hole-in-one, everyone was all happy about it.


Tiger said the fault of the accident was his Escalade. It’s typical of a golfer—always blame the caddy.


Tiger’s car still runs, but it goes “putt, putt, putt…”


Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one

What was Elin Nordegren doing at 2:30 in the morning? She was clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

When the police asked his wife how many times she hit him witht he club, she said, "I am not sure.... put me down for a five."

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

While I'm an avid golfer, I've never been a fan of Tiger Woods. I always thought of him as some ethnic caddy that's been lucky on the links. I also suspect PGA of bribing other golfers to intentionally lose to him so they can make some mongrel win a couple of tournaments for PC publicity and advertising.

And I'll tell you this, even if it's hard to believe: I once beat Tiger Woods at a round of golf. It's true. I met his father and him at Pebble Beach and said to him, "So I heard you're quite the golfer.". He said, "Yea, kind of.". I said, "You think you can take me on, boy?". He smiled and said "Okay!".

Well, I showed that little mixed-race mongrel a thing or two! I beat him by 2 strokes! I remember laughing at him and saying "Try harder next time, kid!"

That took place back in 1981 when Tiger was six years old. At the time I saw him on the Mike Douglas show and That's Incredible! but I thought I would put a little humility in this child prodigy.

[Rev Jeffrey Lebowski]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

Without the gook-blood, Tiger would have merely qualified as a magic-negroe on the golf course.
Capable of only giving hip-hop advice and shuck & jive wisdom to White folks on how to improve their handicaps.
The gook-blood gave him the unfair advantage over the Aryan golfers.
It adds an ability to do geometry (not a natural skill of the negroe) with the ability to play with a ball (the only trait negroes have, and one that is lacking in gooks), thus this produced a mutt that plays golf very well....
BUT it also created an uber-mutt that is driven by a super-predatory sexual nature. A lust driven negroe-golf-gook.
Since all women golfers are lesbians, it (Tiger) can not prey on its closest female source and so it targets White blondes.
These are often the prettier Aryans but sometimes suffer a lack of intelligence, although this is compensated by an ingrained drive to sap money from anyone's pocket.

Now, here is where he screwed up.
He got to marrying a Swedish twin model (who are known to be the hottest sex driven blondes on earth), yet once they breed, they get real mean and revert to their Nordic gonad snatching Viking-woman ways.
That chinky monkey dude is in for a life of ass whupping now!
See , the Lord works in mysterious ways to get vengeance on those that disturb His natural (intelligent designed) order. Praise
{ps : the only way that Tiger can rid himself of that blonde is to cut her head off, like the OJ negroe did.}

[SUV]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

Reverend Lebowski! Do you Abide?

[Rev Jeffrey Lebowski]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

Reverend Lebowski! Do you Abide?

Sister SUV; the Dude abides .... and that rug really tied the room together.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

Sister SUV; the Dude abides .... and that rug really tied the room together.

It is good that you abide, my brother. For if you do not, you burn in Hell.

John 15:6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

I lettin Cleevon post fo me cause he be a man.
If Tiger married Vav's beautiful LeVitra instead of a white lady, all he have to do is keep her in long fingernails and weaves and she be a happy woman! She ain't greedy like no foreign white gal!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Tiger Woods injured in car crash / accident: DUI questions re

Newsflash! A woman has just been stretchered out of Tiger's house!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8401706.stm

An unidentified woman has been taken away in an ambulance from a house on the street in Florida where golfer Tiger Woods lives, reports say.
Local television stations in Orlando said a call for an ambulance had been received from Woods' home in the gated Isleworth community at 0236 (0736 GMT).
TV footage showed a woman being wheeled on a stretcher into a nearby hospital.

Was there a passenger in that car that wrecked, aka Kathy Bates style? A poor Christian walking her dog he ran over? Who knows what depravity this is!