ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

[Elmer G. White]

ABBA was the sensation of the 1970's. At last a strictly heterosexual group of tolerably talented musicians consisting of two strictly heterosexual married couples. They produced quite a few catchy tunes that ultimately became more are more lecherous, describing nasty things such as divorce and Matthew 5:32. They have returned several times making more and more money that they never donated to our Church or our Pastors. Below you can see one of their recent incarnations in Austria.



Now they are old. Threescore and 10 and more. Their mezzo soprano voices have deteriorated into transsexual baritones. Apparently, the money, money money was funny but it must be gone, so they are returning. They have just released two new songs recycling the old ingredients. There is going to be a new album "Voyage". This is what they look like now.



Positives: No masks, so they could be embracing freedom.
Negatives: We'll get to that.

Now it is time to start reviewing this album. The most important part of the review is the spiritual state of the performers. We should remember that the whole "ABBA" concept is an attempt to usurp God's sovereignty. Basically, they are calling themselves "God the Father".

Mark 14:36
And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

Galatians 4:6
And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.

Bad stuff. Perhaps they can salvage this with rousing lyrics and, in fact, their new utterances start off extremely well:

I still have faith in you
I see it now
Through all these years that faith lives on
Somehow

Faith in Christ!? Trusting Jesus and President Trump perhaps?! Yay! Glory! Or not? As the lyrics unravel it becomes clear that the women are not struggling only with gangrene but expressing feelings towards their band members. Their spiritual state is tainted. Old clichés combine with expected harmonies to produce a song filled with holes not unlike the cheese of their Swiss homelands.

The second song "Don't Shut Me Down" is no better. It is about an emancipated woman returning to her boytoy partner in fornication after decades and still demanding more intercourse. Nasty things. Only the copulatory aspects remain - gone is the youthful energy that was characteristic of their greatest musically but also unfortunately sexually rousing hits such as "Mamma Mia"!

Now this Alpine atrocity is planning a tour with golems, undead beings on screen. What will happen to the audience? Or the children, innocent sweet children susceptible to seduction? Is this a scheme? Will there be fornications, extramarital inseminations or even vaccinations?



Please do not buy the album or listen to the songs. I shall be monitoring their antics during the releases of more songs and attending the concert to assess its depravity so you don't have to. Bless Jesus. The only ABBA worth mentioning is GOD the FATHER.



Romans 8:15
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[handmaiden]

Re: ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

Thank you so much, Brother Doctor White, for warning us about the danger of ABBA.

I had no idea.


It is so sad when such obviously White musicians foment such clear rebellion against Our Lord and Savior. One expects this kind of thing from Negro and Latin musicians, but these people appear to be so very blond. They should know better.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

I'd never thought "funky" music was suitable for Christians.
Here though it's explicit.
It's all about darkness - what to do in darkness - certain thought processes - their consequences.
And wherever you look, no God anywhere.

I open the window and I gaze into the night
But there's nothing there to see, no one in sight
There's not a soul out there
No one to hear my prayer

Not exactly a Christian sentiment. And her next thought?

Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight

[Isabella White]

Re: ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

I'd never thought "funky" music was suitable for Christians.
Here though it's explicit.
It's all about darkness - what to do in darkness - certain thought processes - their consequences.
And wherever you look, no God anywhere.

I open the window and I gaze into the night
But there's nothing there to see, no one in sight
There's not a soul out there
No one to hear my prayer

Not exactly a Christian sentiment. And her next thought?

Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight

You are so entirely correct here, dear Sister Mitza. None of that "music" should be played in a home. It does not glorify the — not for one second! Why, the truth of the matter is this: it is the devil's music. I am sure that any true servant of Almighty can see that this "music" is the work of Satan, and that he and his demons are dancing up a storm in , as they celebrate the popularity of such sinfulness!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

Perhaps you heard of the blind men and the elephant? They seem to have been particularly unfortunate, suffering from leprosy maybe or having had German measles early in life, because clearly they have no sense of smell. And elephants are quite distinctive in this respect. Poor old France, on the other hand, has suffered enormously from bizarre doctrines culminating in Napoleon who was eventually bussed off to Saint Helena following his interaction with a recently created Duke of the Anglican communion, then still Christian. How rapidly things deteriorated following commemoration of Wellington's achievement in song is becoming apparent in this thread and of course I'm thinking about the costumes. Dukes' wives are called duchesses and in Norma-Jean "The Duchess" Wofford we see the begining of a downward spiral. Few photographs exist but we can see the long pale dress well to fore in our first illustration.

That's her on the right, the tall guitarist. And of course long dresses are no new thing, even if the cut is questionable for Church. Later on a similar style was adapted for a different stage presence by ABBA. Moving on to the 2nd picture from left, we see the addition of psychedelic cats (one could be a genet though) so far so good. How long before they get the scissors out? Coming right up in our next picture. The "footwear" has deteriorated markedly and a funk theme has intruded into their music, particularly in some the bass lines. I won't mention the dancing——it's hardly unconnected and there'll be some examples later on——the real worry is what's happened with the sewing machines? Which brings us to our last picture showing how far down the gurgler things can go once the funk kicks in. WARNING: a preview is recommended for the next section before general viewing on your large screen.

1965	2009

Did ABBA facilitate this progression in costume design? The dancing styles require no comment from me, subtle does not seem to be a word in any of their lexicons, but they're positioned almost exactly half way between the two funk examples, introducing assorted motifs both musical and dresswise that would be better not thought up in the first place. Satan has been very active migrating these forms of "self expression" across from the underground to the mainstream which brings me back to the elephant. The blind can usually hear music but with no sense of smell, could they pick up on these undercurrents? Is it just music? From one low dive to the next things get pretty aromatic and if the elephant topples over it could do some real damage; those blind men would certainly know it was in the room if they could smell it but apparantly they can't which makes them doubly unfortunate.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

ABBA - that's 1970's "Disco", think of New York's Studio 54 with the drug induced perpetual orgies of sin and debauchery.

Some think that ABBA was a world-wide plandemic by Swedish socialists to rescue their failing economic policies. It probably worked because Sweden's economic reforms didn't start until the 1990's.

Tree huggers have been encouraging us to recycle our trash for decades, but one wonders how many times ABBA's ghastly and nauseating trash can be recycled before finally being sent to a rotting cultural landfill.

Consuming "Mamma Mia!", "Mamma Mia! 2", and "Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again" will at least leave you with irritable bowel syndrome, and will no doubt leave you in the Lake of Fire if you're not careful. Nothing can rescue them - not even drag queens like Pierce Brosnan, Meryl Streep, and Cher in a cheap "Bella Donna" motel off of I-80.

Everyone needs to make sure you're baptized (maybe even a "booster" baptism), and carry a crucifix.

Praise Jesus!

[Diesel Stanford]

Re: ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

I wish they would be sued for their blasphemous name.

[Didymus Much]

Re: ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

I wish they would be sued for their blasphemous name.

So do it! Sue them yourself. All you need is a lawyer that's willing to take your money. Can't be that hard to find one.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: ABBA"Voyage" Review: Geriatric Fornication in a Pseudo-Biblical Package

So do it! Sue them yourself. All you need is a lawyer that's willing to take your money. Can't be that hard to find one.

Unusually, you very nearly make a good point here, Didymus. This would be the sort of case that is absolutely made for crowd-funding, and I would suggest that our young friend should start a page on one of those "you should pay for my lunacy" websites.