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  • SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

    Taste the rainbow, indeed! The homosexual agenda has taken many shapes and sizes, but we have been onto it at every turn of it's quest to recruit our children to the queer lifestyle!

    This evening while I was expressing a high degree of intense revulsion at my own nakedness in the shower, the Holy Spirit came upon me and told me to write to all of you about the dangers of these nefarious little candies!

    ATTENTION: WOMEN, CHILDREN, AND THOSE WITH WEAK SPIRITUAL CONSTITUTIONS SHOULD NOT CONTINUE!




    Right off the bat we can see that these sodomite sweets are attractively decorated with the bright colors of the rainbow, which was long ago adopted as the homo calling card.

    The term "Original Fruit" is splattered across the top of the packaging, which is homosexual code language for "virgin testicles." There was a 200% increase in Skittles sales when they started using that slogan. At the same time, incidents of homosexuals abducting and raping young Christian boys skyrocketed. Coincidence? I doubt it.



    When we view Skittles closeup, it is obvious that they have been modeled after a) the male buttocks, or b) testicles.

    Each color of Skittles has a different meaning. Homosexuals will keep a variety of these in their pockets, and when they see a potential homosexual or homosexual recruit, they will attempt to hand-feed it into their mouth. According to the color, that is what the "host" wants to do with the "guest."

    GREEN: Fornicate in a public park

    YELLOW: Abduct a christian man and take turns urinating on his face

    RED: Spank the "guest's" behind with a leather strap

    ORANGE: Fornicate with vegetables stolen from a True Christian farmer

    BROWN: The "host" will insert Skittles candies 'up there' and then pay the "vendor" with a kiss every time he wants a pile of candies excreted into his palm or even directly into his mouth!

    Friends, I am calling for a ban on ALL Skittles products, whether it be food, clothing or decorative ornaments! THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!

    If you find your children eating these candies, TAKE THEM AWAY AT ONCE AND BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR EXPERIMENTING IN THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

    MAY GOD KEEP YOUR FAMILIES SAFE!
    Last edited by Bob4God; 01-24-2010, 06:05 AM. Reason: Fixed a picture
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    The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
    - Proverbs 15:3

    CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


    CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!



  • #2
    Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

    I was going to comment on this vile abomination..but fainted after reading it. You can better believe that NOOOOO Skittles will ever be purchased again at the Johnson Residence!

    I can't click back on this thread (for fear that I will faint again) but will ALERT a GODLY Pastor.


    In JESUS'S name Amen!
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    • #3
      Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

      I never liked the things. The flavors were completely gay and all that. Back in the day the real candy of real men was Warheads. You ate one and got hairs on your chest for doing it! Real man's "take the skin off the back of your throat" kind of sour. No queers and homers allowed!
      I have no sig to put here. Just haven't thought about it yet and don't have an idea what to do. Got suggestions? PM me and let me know.

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      • #4
        Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

        Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
        Each color of Skittles has a different meaning. Homosexuals will keep a variety of these in their pockets, and when they see a potential homosexual or homosexual recruit, they will attempt to hand-feed it into their mouth. According to the color, that is what the "host" wants to do with the "guest."

        GREEN: Fornicate in a public park

        YELLOW: Abduct a christian man and take turns urinating on his face

        RED: Spank the "guest's" behind with a leather strap

        ORANGE: Fornicate with vegetables stolen from a True Christian farmer

        BROWN: The "host" will insert Skittles candies 'up there' and then pay the "vendor" with a kiss every time he wants a pile of candies excreted into his palm or even directly into his mouth!

        Friends, I am calling for a ban on ALL Skittles products, whether it be food, clothing or decorative ornaments! THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!

        If you find your children eating these candies, TAKE THEM AWAY AT ONCE AND BEAT YOUR KIDS FOR EXPERIMENTING IN THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE!

        MAY GOD KEEP YOUR FAMILIES SAFE!
        My GOD, brother! This post caught me right after dinner and I threw up reading it. In fact, I had heart palpitations and had to take a nitro tablet and drink a snifter of pre-French cognac.

        It was a a waste of perfectly good fricasseed spotted-owl and sea-turtle soup. This is a wonderful example of the maniacal homer agenda, but PLEASE make your warning a bit clearer or post in red letters. Is there no limit to what qweers and goths will do to ruin our youth?

        Have a care, Brother. Sea turtle is VERY expensive and will be as long as it's on the endangered species list. No one notices when a couple of owls go missing, but they are a taste treat as well!
        Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
        "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
        Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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        • #5
          Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

          Candy has long been a way for the Homers too lure children into their grip.
          Matthew:
          5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
          5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
          10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
          10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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          • #6
            Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

            Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
            THERE IS REASON TO BELIEVE THAT SKITTLES MAY BE INJECTED WITH THE AIDS OR SOME KIND OF GAY CHEMICAL THAT CAUSES AN ADDICTION TO SAME SEX ACTIVITY!
            After research at the Biblical Science Laboratory at Landover Christian University, we have narrowed this down to Canuba wax.
            However, before I present our findings, let me remind you that, on average, there are 42 Skittles in a pack! And what is 42? According to the despicable atheist author of “The Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy,” it is “the answer to the world, the universe and everything”! Yes, dear reader, we know that God is the answer to the world, the universe and everything yet Skittles claim they are! They are “of The Devil”!

            42? Coincidence? I think not!

            And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

            O the iniquity!
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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            • #7
              Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

              Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
              And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

              O the iniquity!
              Indeed Brother Bathfire, but I suspect the debauchery runs deeper than that! It is possible that this canuba wax is the same kind of wax they use to purge themselves of the GODly mass of hair that the LORD has blessed all humans with to help hide their shame. With gleeful delight, homers RIP the hair from their bodies to shamelessly parade their dirty bits around for all to see with the help of canuba wax! MAY GOD EITHER REDEEM THEM OR BROIL THEM IN HELL FOREVER!
              sigpic
              The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
              - Proverbs 15:3

              CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


              CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


              Comment


              • #8
                Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

                Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
                Indeed Brother Bathfire, but I suspect the debauchery runs deeper than that! It is possible that this canuba wax is the same kind of wax they use to purge themselves of the GODly mass of hair that the LORD has blessed all humans with to help hide their shame. With gleeful delight, homers RIP the hair from their bodies to shamelessly parade their dirty bits around for all to see with the help of canuba wax! MAY GOD EITHER REDEEM THEM OR BROIL THEM IN HELL FOREVER!
                I think you have it right there Brother B4G! Your moderate reply does you credit.
                sigpic


                “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                Author of such illuminating essays as,
                Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

                  Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                  Candy has long been a way for the Homers too lure children into their grip.
                  You can say that again!
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                  • #10
                    Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

                    Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                    And now to canuba wax. To wax means to coat with wax; this is to lower friction and who, in this context, other than a homer would want too “lower friction”????

                    O the iniquity!
                    Lord of Hosts, Bathfire! It is only 8am here and the thought of Haysus rubbing carnuba wax on my new limo made me toss my soft-boiled eggs and toast.
                    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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                    • #11
                      Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

                      I would like to point out that M&Ms are the same shape as skittles, as well as also being rainbow.
                      So, are they gay too?

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                      • #12
                        Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

                        Originally posted by openmind View Post
                        I would like to point out that M&Ms are the same shape as skittles, as well as also being rainbow.
                        So, are they gay too?
                        These ones sure are:
                        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                        • #13
                          Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

                          because they are pink?

                          it is just a color, how can it make something homosexual?

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                          • #14
                            Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

                            Originally posted by openmind View Post
                            because they are pink?

                            it is just a color, how can it make something homosexual?
                            The real problem is things being made homosexual. The rainbow used to be a sign from God, until the gays corrupted it.
                            Matthew:
                            5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                            5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                            10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                            10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!

                              Why can't it be just what it is- a rainbow.

                              Not a symbol for anything, just red, orange, yellow, green, and blue sitting side by side.

                              I fail to see how a candy is gay.

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