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Why Gays SHOULD be allowed into the military!
Wait....what? Did the Good Reverend Himself actually speak such nonsense? Yes, I did, but it's not nonsense, please hear me out.
First of all, I totally agree with all the rational, sensible arguments on why homosexuals shouldn't be allowed in the military. Such as the uncomfortableness on the part of straight soldiers having to shower with homosexuals, and even possibly getting raped. Or that sissy queers aren't simply man enough to fight as bravely as a normal soldier would. Yet, have we entertained the possibility of segregated units? Traditionally, segregated units worked wonderfully in our military past. We segregated the negroes in our armed forces all the way up until Vietnam. And, is it any wonder that we won every single war up unto that point?
Segregated units of homosexuals could be used effectively by practical-minded generals. One role I could see homosexual soldiers specialize in is IED search and removal. Right now, we use expensive multi-million dollar robots for that role. And quite often, those robots blow up and thats millions of taxpayer's money down the drain! It would be fiscally prudent if we used $30,000 a year homosexual soldiers for that role instead. In this time of a debt ceiling crisis and struggling economy, how could we not do this?
A brilliant tactician could also find a use for a homosexual unit. Say the enemy is holed up in the mountains somewhere, waiting to ambush us. Send in a homo unit, lightly armed and highly visible to draw out the enemy and reveal their positions, allowing the straight soldiers a chance to snipe them off and shell them in safety. Sure, there will be some casualties, but we can afford a war of attrition. And it's not like it would be a big loss on our part. Couple dozen queers get mowed down by RPGs and machine gun fire? There's more where that came from.
I just think it's high time to start thinking outside of the box if we want to win this War on Terror®. More than likely we will be in the Middle East for the next 50-100 years (until the oil runs out), so we're going to have to stay ahead of Al-Qaeda by using every advantage we have.
First of all, I totally agree with all the rational, sensible arguments on why homosexuals shouldn't be allowed in the military. Such as the uncomfortableness on the part of straight soldiers having to shower with homosexuals, and even possibly getting raped. Or that sissy queers aren't simply man enough to fight as bravely as a normal soldier would. Yet, have we entertained the possibility of segregated units? Traditionally, segregated units worked wonderfully in our military past. We segregated the negroes in our armed forces all the way up until Vietnam. And, is it any wonder that we won every single war up unto that point?
Segregated units of homosexuals could be used effectively by practical-minded generals. One role I could see homosexual soldiers specialize in is IED search and removal. Right now, we use expensive multi-million dollar robots for that role. And quite often, those robots blow up and thats millions of taxpayer's money down the drain! It would be fiscally prudent if we used $30,000 a year homosexual soldiers for that role instead. In this time of a debt ceiling crisis and struggling economy, how could we not do this?
A brilliant tactician could also find a use for a homosexual unit. Say the enemy is holed up in the mountains somewhere, waiting to ambush us. Send in a homo unit, lightly armed and highly visible to draw out the enemy and reveal their positions, allowing the straight soldiers a chance to snipe them off and shell them in safety. Sure, there will be some casualties, but we can afford a war of attrition. And it's not like it would be a big loss on our part. Couple dozen queers get mowed down by RPGs and machine gun fire? There's more where that came from.
I just think it's high time to start thinking outside of the box if we want to win this War on Terror®. More than likely we will be in the Middle East for the next 50-100 years (until the oil runs out), so we're going to have to stay ahead of Al-Qaeda by using every advantage we have.
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