[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Hello, Pastor Ezekiel!I am so delighted to hear from you! My name is Alex and I'm 30 years old. I've already went through " "Noobs" please read this before posting." and I can honestly say that I know all that by heart already! It took me a while though to learn all my rights on this forum... There's so many of them!
I've been through many churches but I haven't yet found a right one for myself until I came across Landover Baptist Church!
I am a citizen of the world and I can be anywhere anytime! I myself don't know where I'm gonna be tomorrow . . . God only knows that! (You can always ask Him if you really interested in it!)

Where were you born? Everyone was born someplace. I don't buy all this "citizen of the world" nonsense. Sounds communistic.

What church did your father take you to? How many sons has your wife given you? At the age of 30 you should be almost a grandfather.

We need to hear about your walk with Jesus before we can feel that we can welcome you into our forum. We get plenty of queers, atheists and witches sent in here by their master satan in an effort to destroy God's favorite forum. We can't be too careful.

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Where were you born? Everyone was born someplace. I don't buy all this "citizen of the world" nonsense. Sounds communistic.

What church did your father take you to? How many sons has your wife given you? At the age of 30 you should be almost a grandfather.

We need to hear about your walk with Jesus before we can feel that we can welcome you into our forum. We get plenty of queers, atheists and witches sent in here by their master satan in an effort to destroy God's favorite forum. We can't be too careful.

Hi, Pastor Ezekiel! My father never took me to any churches. But my grandmother was taking me Christian Orthodox Church since I was 7 years old. I was born in Russia, but most of my adult life I've spent living in California. 5 years ago I moved to Australia. Because I'm travelling a lot around the world it's very hard for me to find a proper church for myself and a True Christian wife. That's why I'd like to join your Godly online community and be a full-time member of Landover Baptist Church!

You're absolutely right Pastor Ezekiel - you can't be too careful these days! There's so many queers, atheists and witches arround. And I've see many of them attacking Godly people of Landover Baptist Church forum in their vain attempts to destroy God's favourite forum!

But I'm not one of them! During my walk with Christ Satan's been trying hard to get me confused and lost by making me read such satanic books as "Origin of species", "God's delusion", "The Fabric of the Cosmos ", and many other works of such sinners as Sigmund Freud, Stephen Hawking, Richard Dawkins and so on... But their foolishness didn't work on me!
Romans 1:22-23
Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

So you can be 100% sure I am not a stinky filthy atheist! I don't buy that 5 billion years old Earth and evolution of species! I'm not a monkey, my father wasn't a monkey, my grandfather wasn't a monkey and I'm pretty sure that my grand-grandfather wasn't a monkey either! Those perverts who believe such nonsense make me sick!

I can't wait till I stand next to Jesus in Heaven and I watch all them monkey-lovers burn in hell! I'll be laughing at them and spitting at their dirty monkey faces!

Please Pastor Ezekiel accept me into your community! I want to be saved! Praise be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Hello, Alex, and to God's favorite forum!

Hi, Pastor Ezekiel! My father never took me to any churches. But my grandmother was taking me Christian Orthodox Church since I was 7 years old.

That's terrible! Poor dear! How irresponsible on the part of your grandmother to have taken you to this den of iniquity, where people worship false idols (Exodus 20:4, Leviticus 26:1):



I do hope that you've repented for the sin of even being in such a place, dear?

I was born in Russia, but most of my adult life I've spent living in California. 5 years ago I moved to Australia. Because I'm travelling a lot around the world it's very hard for me to find a proper church for myself and a True Christian wife. That's why I'd like to join your Godly online community and be a full-time member of Landover Baptist Church!

Post wisely rather than often, and remember to support everything you say with an appropriate Scripture passage: that is the only way to Salvation™, dear.

So you can be 100% sure I am not a stinky filthy atheist! I don't buy that 5 billion years old Earth and evolution of species! I'm not a monkey, my father wasn't a monkey, my grandfather wasn't a monkey and I'm pretty sure that my grand-grandfather wasn't a monkey either! Those perverts who believe such nonsense make me sick!

Amen, dear. God placed all these so called "fossils" in the ground to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27).

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Hello, Alex, and to God's favorite forum!



That's terrible! Poor dear! How irresponsible on the part of your grandmother to have taken you to this den of iniquity, where people worship false idols (Exodus 20:4, Leviticus 26:1):


I do hope that you've repented for the sin of even being in such a place, dear?

Hello, sister! I've repented for that sin already answered asked God many times to forgive me for such abominable transgression! I know some false christians and atheists might say that it wasn't my fault since I was only a child, but I strongly disagree with them!
Exodus 20:5
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

That proves that we are responsible not only for the sins of our fathers, but also grandfathers, grandmothers, grand-grandfathers and so on unto the fourth generation! Can someone prove me wrong?

Leviticus 26:1 states clearly that:
Ye shall make you no idols nor graven image, neither rear you up a standing image, neither shall ye set up any image of stone in your land, to bow down unto it: for I am the LORD your God.

That means that everyone who prays to the icon commits a sin, therefore will go to hell unless he repents!
Hard to believe, but almost the whole population of Russia will go to hell, since Orthodoxy is the most popular religion there! That's why I was so happy to leave it and come to Godly USA!
Actually they might get a little break there in hell, because Russians have a Godly President (Mr. Putting) who keeps the whole country protected from homosexuality and sodomy through anti gay laws and free government funded give away of ass plugs to protect people from being raped by those perverted homers! I'm actually wearing one myself all the time now, no matter what country I go to... You can't be too careful these days! Too bad Obama spends all the taxpayer's money for Satanscare instead of giving the people of United States the real protection and care they need!

[ExGay Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Добро пожалуйвать! Welcome to our friendly forum. I, too, at one time, lived in Russia and witnessed to the idle youth in Chistye Prudy. Many of them were lost, homeless even, usually hungry, and were happy to come to my apartment where I could give them a good feeding.

Russian orthodox churches are totally inappropriate places. Full of gold and graven images. Most don't even have benches, and the parishioners have to stand up the whole time. Not civilized at all. And the priests are wearing dresses that look like Spanish women at a funeral.

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Добро пожалуйвать! Welcome to our friendly forum. I, too, at one time, lived in Russia and witnessed to the idle youth in Chistye Prudy. Many of them were lost, homeless even, usually hungry, and were happy to come to my apartment where I could give them a good feeding.

Russian orthodox churches are totally inappropriate places. Full of gold and graven images. Most don't even have benches, and the parishioners have to stand up the whole time. Not civilized at all. And the priests are wearing dresses that look like Spanish women at a funeral.

I actually thought it's one and the same person on these pictures! They look so alike!
Yes the fact that they don't have any benches was most annoyin!
But false church can never be comfortable, that's why I renounced the Orthodoxy and came here to Landover Baptist Church!
I feel myself so good here!

[Midge Murphy]

Re: Hello, everyone!

I actually thought it's one and the same person on these pictures! They look so alike!
Yes the fact that they don't have any benches was most annoyin!
But false church can never be comfortable, that's why I renounced the Orthodoxy and came here to Landover Baptist Church!
I feel myself so good here!

They look much more alike on a typical day, but on this particular occasion the Spanish woman probably shaved her facial hair in preparation for the funeral.

I join Brother Alex in welcoming you here, his incorrect Russian notwithstanding. I know that he tries very hard to try out as many tongues as possible.

I am pleased to see you abandoned the Orthodox church. There are positions of that church that, if read from a Biblical perspective, are not correct. Here are a few things that stand in the creed of the Orthodox Church.

1. For example, the Orthodicks believe in one baptism for the remission of sins. We are forgiven by grace through faith in the sacrifice of Jesus, not by baptism. (Romans 6)

2. The baptism in the Orthodox Church can only be done by the priest. When absolutely necessary by a layman. This is done by triple immersion. In the absence of water, one may be lifted in the air. This happens with children aged 4 to 7 months by the godparents. After the baptism, the baby's perfect by the mystery of the Myrrh anointing that is sealed with the Holy Spirit.

How screwed up is that? The Bible teaches us not baptism as a child, Jesus himself was baptized as an adult, a baptism in the air is not found in the Bible. Also a seal with the Holy Spirit of a baby? I can't find THAT in the Bible! We receive the Holy Spirit as to guarantee the life to come. 2 Corinthians 5:5 is crystal clear about that: Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit. Pretty plain to me.

3. At the Orthodicks Church the Bible is not the inspired Word of God. Not like we as Christians see this. Orthodicks see the Bible as an icon in the words of Jesus. As they themselves write: The Bible is not in itself sufficient to revealed truth to know. Therefore, there is the Sacred Tradition given. Which is a significant proportion from. Clearly, the female Giver of the Bible is the best placed to explain to others.

The Bible says something different, namely that all scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. 2 Timothy 3:16.

Also, God is male so God cannot be a female giver.

4. The Orthodicks Church prays for the deceased. This must be done in several days and several times a year. In the Orthodicks Church (like the Catholics) are so called saints. But here they are called icons. According to the explanation on the website of the Orthodox Church God spoke: Let us make man in our likeness as an icon. This justifies them honoring the icons in the church.

However, we read in Genesis God says, "Let us make man in Our image." (Genesis 1:26).

5. According to the Orthodox Church Jesus may be portrayed as an icon because He was a Man on this earth. However, this contradicts the second commandment. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: Exodus 20:4-5

Although the Orthodicks Church claims to have a Christian belief, it is clear that much of the doctrine they preach is not Biblical.

I think you are on the right path because several of the verses I quoted above (2 Timothy and Exodus 20:5) were already mentioned by you.

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello, everyone!

H
Exodus 20:5
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

That proves that we are responsible not only for the sins of our fathers, but also grandfathers, grandmothers, grand-grandfathers and so on unto the fourth generation! Can someone prove me wrong?

You are absolutely right. Our God does not forget nor forgive easily, and we do have to pay for the transgressions of our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents.

It's even worse if one of your ancestors was a bastard:

Deuteronomy 23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Leviticus 26:1 states clearly that:
Ye shall make you no idols nor graven image, neither rear you up a standing image, neither shall ye set up any image of stone in your land, to bow down unto it: for I am the LORD your God.

That means that everyone who prays to the icon commits a sin, therefore will go to hell unless he repents!
Hard to believe, but almost the whole population of Russia will go to hell, since Orthodoxy is the most popular religion there! That's why I was so happy to leave it and come to Godly USA!

Well, God organized the rules of the game in such a way, that most of the human population is predestined to damnation:

Matthew 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Actually they might get a little break there in hell, because Russians have a Godly President (Mr. Putting) who keeps the whole country protected from homosexuality and sodomy through anti gay laws and free government funded give away of ass plugs to protect people from being raped by those perverted homers!

True - Mr. Putin is a personal friend of Jesus. Here is just a small list of Putin's accomplishments, that we have discussed so far on this Godly forum.

[FroYoInfo]

Re: Hello, everyone!

You are absolutely right. Our God does not forget nor forgive easily, and we do have to pay for the transgressions of our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents.

It's even worse if one of your ancestors was a bastard:

Deuteronomy 23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Well, God organized the rules of the game in such a way, that most of the human population is predestined to damnation:

Matthew 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

True - Mr. Putin is a personal friend of Jesus. Here is just a small list of Putin's accomplishments, that we have discussed so far on this Godly forum.

Did you know that Vlad. Putin was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome? (You know, the same thing that I have)

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Did you know that Vlad. Putin was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome? (You know, the same thing that I have)

Why are you spreading lies against a personal friend of Jesus?

Proverbs 19:9 A false witness shall not be unpunished, and [he that] speaketh lies shall perish.

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

You are absolutely right. Our God does not forget nor forgive easily, and we do have to pay for the transgressions of our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents.

It's even worse if one of your ancestors was a bastard:

Deuteronomy 23:2 A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Well, God organized the rules of the game in such a way, that most of the human population is predestined to damnation:

Matthew 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

True - Mr. Putin is a personal friend of Jesus. Here is just a small list of Putin's accomplishments, that we have discussed so far on this Godly forum.

I start praying to God today asking for forgiveness just in case if I have any bastards in my family in the past ten generations! I can only be sure that I don't have any bastards in my ancestry starting from my grand-grandfathers! Fuck knows that's been happening in my family before that! Uhh.. I meant to say- God only knows... Pesky keyboard! I'm really sorry for that!