Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

[miss Pauletta]

Hey yall! Let me introduce myself. My name is Nan, and I have been a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ my whole life! Now first of all let me say, I hope me being black and a woman does not put a strain on my interaction with you fine folks here. I know my place, don't worry! I'm fine with the life God has chosen for me, and it's a life of servitude to superior races, men, and of course Him! I still think we blacks should be used for the purpose our Lord intended, but it's clear this nation has strayed from the Lord in every way possible! Let's see here, my favorite Bible verse would have to be Genesis 1:1, because it's the only verse I need when debating those disgusting atheists and evolutionists! LOL, their arguments always seem to fall flat when I throw that one out there. I go to my local black church, not going to name it specifically over the Internet! I love organizing church bake sales for the Lord. Hope we can all be friends!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Heloo, nigress. What church do you attend? How many picanninnies have you got running around?

If you're one of the good ones, you might find some work as a laundress around here.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Could you learn how to make a paragraph break? Your introduction may have been okay, but it was plagued by being a blob of text.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Could you learn how to make a paragraph break? Your introduction may have been okay, but it was plagued by being a blob of text.

Baby steps, Brother!

At least she shows some intelligence, unlike the atheists who come in here and can't even spell "atheist" correctly.

Welcome, Miss Yessa! Are you married? If so, is your husband a Christian man, or one of those reefer-addicted Pastafarians?

[miss Pauletta]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Heloo, nigress. What church do you attend? How many picanninnies have you got running around?

If you're one of the good ones, you might find some work as a laundress around here.

I've got nine children, all of them faithful unto the Lord! And I love doing laundry, now that you mention it! There's something rejuvenating about taking something filthy and making it clean, which is how I feel when I spread the Lord's word to gays, atheists, or girls who dress filthily.

Could you learn how to make a paragraph break? Your introduction may have been okay, but it was plagued by being a blob of text.

I'm mighty sorry! I've always been bad with paragraphs. I guess that's what I get for dropping out of the sixth grade (I have to spell check nearly every word I type, lest I pollute this Holy forum with my imperfection)!

Also, I just got so excited to share my love for the Lord with like-minded individuals that a paragraph break never crossed my mind. I will try harder next time!

Baby steps, Brother!

At least she shows some intelligence, unlike the atheists who come in here and can't even spell "atheist" correctly.

Welcome, Miss Yessa! Are you married? If so, is your husband a Christian man, or one of those reefer-addicted Pastafarians?

My husband James, God rest his soul, was claimed by the Lord almost five years ago. He often went to preach God's word in a predominately homosexual neighborhood close to where we live, and one night the police were called and found him stabbed to death in a cocaine-addicted homosexual's basement. It was the saddest day of my life, but also the happiest, because I knew his preaching of the Lord's message had been so strong that it angered the Satan-possessed homosexual into stabbing him to death, as if that would somehow affirm the gay man's lifestyle of sin! I look forward to seeing James in Heaven!

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Welcome to the most Heavenly forums on the internet web network! I'm so glad you had the uppity gumption to post an introduction rather than lurking in the shadows like others of your kind. Praise God, you might be a good one, as Brother Ezekiel suspects!

I believe the automated tithing system here has a monthly auto-pay option for welfare checks, so you're in luck! You won't have to mess around with pesky confusing numbers and what-not each month!

Incidentally, do you have your white friend's permission to use her computer? Oh, nevermind. It just occured to me that she must typing the words for you.

Again, welcome!


Tap Dancing A Jig In The Blood Of Jesus,
Harry Lester

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Hey yall! Let me introduce myself. My name is Nan, and I have been a follower of the Lord Jesus Christ my whole life! Now first of all let me say, I hope me being black and a woman does not put a strain on my interaction with you fine folks here. I know my place, don't worry! I'm fine with the life God has chosen for me, and it's a life of servitude to superior races, men, and of course Him! I still think we blacks should be used for the purpose our Lord intended, but it's clear this nation has strayed from the Lord in every way possible! Let's see here, my favorite Bible verse would have to be Genesis 1:1, because it's the only verse I need when debating those disgusting atheists and evolutionists! LOL, their arguments always seem to fall flat when I throw that one out there. I go to my local black church, not going to name it specifically over the Internet! I love organizing church bake sales for the Lord. Hope we can all be friends!

Good morning Miss Yessa!

I am very sorry to hear about your buck husband passing on. My condolences to you.



I'm not sure if you are afflicted with Restless Cooter Syndrome© but if you are, the Bible says you should get married again.

(1 Corinthians 7:8-9) "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn."

Good luck on finding a compatible non-incarcerated new freedman!



Yours in Christ,

Zechariah Smyth

[miss Pauletta]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Thanks for all the kind words! It's clear this is a real place of the Lord. Yes, I have considered remarriage, but the only man who has shown interest in me was White! When he expressed his interest, I, of course, explained to him how his interracial attraction to me was Satan-influenced.

I dunno, I kinda felt like a sinner myself for correcting a man, and a White one at that, but since it was in the name of the Lord, I'm sure He will forgive me. 1 John 1:9

[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Hi Yessa!

Maybe you could stop being black and that way you could get SAVED and go to HEAVEN to be with JESUS when GOD kills you!

The Pastors know more about it than I do, but Landover has an Ex-Negro© program that can cure even the blackest Negro of your sinful lifestyle choice. We even have a couple of cured Negros already!

Anyway, it was nice to meet you!







Tammi


PS: I'm sorry to tell you this, but your dead husband is burning forever in HELL with THE DEVIL because when he died, he wasn't a True Christian™ Sorry!

[miss Pauletta]

Re: Hey everybody! Hope we can unite in our love of the Lord!

Hi Yessa!

Maybe you could stop being black and that way you could get SAVED and go to HEAVEN to be with JESUS when GOD kills you!

The Pastors know more about it than I do, but Landover has an Ex-Negro© program that can cure even the blackest Negro of your sinful lifestyle choice. We even have a couple of cured Negros already!

Anyway, it was nice to meet you!







Tammi


PS: I'm sorry to tell you this, but your dead husband is burning forever in HELL with THE DEVIL because when he died, he wasn't a True Christian™ Sorry!

Oh my! Thank you for such a colorful introduction (no pun intended, LOL). I was unaware of any sort of ex-negro program here. I would gladly enroll in something like that, even though I consider myself completely distanced from the typical negro lifestyle (except for the black church, which I only attend because I know it's where God would have me).

As for my husband burning in Hell, I guess only God can know for sure! I like to keep my chin up and hope for the best, and I hope I'll see all my loved ones when I (hopefully) pass through those pearly gates some time from now. Although, your wonderfully artistic post is more than enough to compensate for the thought of my husband burning forever in the eternal flames!