Howdy Y'all

[James Hutchins]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Hello Jon'ald (that is how you people spell it, right?)

If you are not too busy on the down low, please provide a list of other clients you have shined for. We do not let just anyone get a stand in the Greyhound terminal.

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Looks like we've got some doubting Thomases here. If a rouge-tongued harlot like Lady Gaga can call herself a "lady" and a secret agent Kenyan moslim can call himself "president", then certainly a humble man like me, educated in only the finest American prison chapels, can perform simple surgical procedures and prescribe medications.

I would, however, be happy to scan in my official 9/12 Movement membership card and/or secret decoder ring.

I have some hope for you, but am concerned that you are here to mock us. You seem to act a bit niggardly with your credentials. While I suspect you may make a fine Christian some day (following Brother Tannor's advice) I must warn you that we have our fair share of scammers and fakers visit this site and we are wise to all of them. Do not find yourself among them, lest you cast off your potential for salvation. I think you'll find we take the Word of God very seriously here and I suggest you do as well. Now please answer Cranky Old Man's important question regarding shoes.


Glistening In The Thick Blood Of Redemption,
Harry Lester

[HTannor]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Don't be too upset by those that doubt you.

Once you go through our Ex-Negro Program, you should be OK.

Other ex-coons have told us the minor surgical shortening procedures doesn't hurt that much and should help you fit right in here.

[Dr. Jonald Perkins]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Looks like we've got some doubting Thomases here. If a rouge-tongued harlot like Lady Gaga can call herself a "lady" and a secret agent Kenyan moslim can call himself "president", then certainly a humble man like me, educated in only the finest American prison chapels, can perform simple surgical procedures and prescribe medications.

I would, however, be happy to scan in my official 9/12 Movement membership card and/or secret decoder ring.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Welcome to God's favorite forum!

How good are you at shining peoples shoes?

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Howdy Y'all

***overly-ingratiating text deleted***

Hiya Doc!

Could you post a scan of your credentials so we know we aren't dealing with a kook?

Yours in Christ,

Zechariah Smyth

[Dr. Jonald Perkins]

This is my second attempt at living my life followin' Jesus. First time didn't turn out so well. I followed that sumbitch all the way back to Home Depot 'fore I figured out he didn't give me a baggie full of baby powder just on accident.

I have a Ph. D in Spiritualitization from my local FedEx Kinko's, and three fully loaded Hummers, courtesy of my Medicare claims business. I figure it's the Lord's money anyway, and if He didn't want me to have it, he wouldn't have put so many damn Democrats in power, now would he?

My favorite passage from Scripture has gotta be 2 Kings 2:23-24:

"And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."

As you can most certainly tell from my pictures, the Lord saw fit to bless me in some areas (ladies, you wouldn't know what I'm talkin' about, but all them nice ladies at that Catholic parish down the street sure do). But on top, He left me more bald-faced than one of Obama's birth certificate forgeries. The taunts of them little schoolkids sure do hurt my feelins' sometimes, but it makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside when I think about them gettin' all tored up by Jesus-bears. And not just any Jesus-bears. Lady Jesus-bears. Them's the best kind.