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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    Originally posted by Viva la Gloria! View Post
    'Gloria' means 'glory'. It's also the name of my younger sister.
    I'm European, amongst those who helped civilize the Maori tribes of this land. I'm trying to make New Zealand a place of prosperity and Godliness, unspoilt by greed and other sin.
    So then you're either a russian commie or a thieving, lying gypsy. Which is it?

    Leave a comment:


  • Viva la Gloria!
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    Who the hell is Gloria?

    How can an abo be named "Nicolai?"
    'Gloria' means 'glory'. It's also the name of my younger sister.
    I'm European, amongst those who helped civilize the Maori tribes of this land. I'm trying to make New Zealand a place of prosperity and Godliness, unspoilt by greed and other sin.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    Who the hell is Gloria?

    How can an abo be named "Nicolai?"

    Leave a comment:


  • Viva la Gloria!
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    Originally posted by Humongous View Post
    well, i think i had some paper towels whats called viva. but i burned em all up when i was makin turbans to put on our el Queda effigies.

    welcome to these Godly forums, viva!

    yic
    God bless you, Humongous. I hope you've still got something to clean with! Viva is a form of the Spanish verb 'to live'.

    Just call me Nikolai, or Nicky.

    Leave a comment:


  • Viva la Gloria!
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    Originally posted by HTannor View Post
    You introduction is surely touching, Nikolai, and we welcome you here.

    It is especially heartening that you emphasize your straightness which means we won't have to spend precious time ridding you of evil, anal-sex, queerness.

    However, that would not have caused us to reject you because we have an excellent fag conversion program with even better results than Marcus Bachmann brags about. Pastor Zeke manages the program and his "Stay on Your Knees" introductory sessions are highly praised by the homers he's rehabilitated.

    Now, more about you:

    How many guns do you own?

    Is it hard bringing down a Kiwi in mid-flight?

    Is it true Maori women are as smelly as rumored?
    Excellent, I'm currently working to convert a few queers from their wicked hobbies and will refer them to your program to aid the rehabilitation process.

    I only own two guns myself, but share a collection with the local gun club. Unlike the majestic USA, it's illegal to carry a weapon in public in our libertard society. But I do it anyway, I'd rather not be maimed and cannibalized by some vicious savage as I walk the street.

    It's very hard to bring down a kiwi in mid-flight, considering the fact that they can't fly. I've succeeded by firing one from a catapult, waited for it to start flapping its wings then shoot it down.

    Even wealthy Maori women are smelly. A bit like fish marinated in dirt and huhu grubs.

    Thanks for the response, friend!

    Leave a comment:


  • Humongous
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    well, i think i had some paper towels whats called viva. but i burned em all up when i was makin turbans to put on our el Queda effigies.

    welcome to these Godly forums, viva!

    yic

    Leave a comment:


  • HTannor
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    You introduction is surely touching, Nikolai, and we welcome you here.

    It is especially heartening that you emphasize your straightness which means we won't have to spend precious time ridding you of evil, anal-sex, queerness.

    However, that would not have caused us to reject you because we have an excellent fag conversion program with even better results than Marcus Bachmann brags about. Pastor Zeke manages the program and his "Stay on Your Knees" introductory sessions are highly praised by the homers he's rehabilitated.

    Now, more about you:

    How many guns do you own?

    Is it hard bringing down a Kiwi in mid-flight?

    Is it true Maori women are as smelly as rumored?

    Leave a comment:


  • Viva la Gloria!
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    I appreciate your kind words, Jedediah.

    My depraved, unsaved soul suffered depression, destruction consumed and followed me in every endeavor. I fell into an 'existential crisis', surely bound for hell. Until, I finally accepted Jesus, He showed me the light and purged my soul of evil.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jedediah
    replied
    Re: Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    My heart rejoices that the LORD has brought you here to fellowship with us. It sounds like you must have really hit rock bottom before beginning your walk with Christ. Tell us, friend, in what manner of sin and depredation did you wallow before Jesus entered you with His penetrating love?

    Leave a comment:


  • Viva la Gloria!
    started a topic Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    Unworthy, unsaved trash, here.

    Good evening, fellow God-fearing Christians!
    (It's 6:20pm here in NZ)

    I'm Nikolai.

    Devout Christian, massive bible enthusiast, art hobbyist, critter collector and self-proclaimed genius. Though, the many brilliant minds here humble me. I'm a straight (as we should all be), single man. I don't have an official career because I lead a self-sustained life (i.e. not leeching off the government), but work to better the community whenever I can.

    In my spare time I read the bible, study ancient languages (Latin, currently), draw/paint, play guitar/violin/piano etc., go to social events, pray, enlighten the dissolute and spread The Word of God.

    I go to Bethlehem Baptist Church. My current favourite bible verse is in my signature. There are so many I love, every verse has greater meaning to me every time I read them.

    I met Jesus through a friend, actually. My family brought me up as Christian, but picking and choosing what of God's Word they listen to. They still won't accept truth. A friend encouraged me onto the right path, thank The Lord, after I fell into a pit of doom. I've read the bible front to back many times and believe every word of it as truth, to the devil's dismay.

    God bless,
    ~ Nikolai
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