[Bible Student]

Re: Not flaming here, don't get all butthurt.

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
How can you be a Christian if you reject The Bible?

I'll be honest with you, the best argument I have for that is "Well, I believe there is a God, and a Jesus." But you'll probably argue that too.

This is not a debate forum. And of course MitzaLizalor will disagree with you. You do not get to redefine terms to suit your own stupidity. To be a Christian means that you follow Jesus Christ and every word he says. That, child, means the New Testament, the entire New Testament.

Now since Jesus and the Father are One, that means there is only one God. Ergo, since the Father was responsible for the entire Old Testament, you must believe it in its entirety. In other words, to be a Christian you must follow every single word in the whole 1611 King James Bible. And the last I looked the Bible means both the Old Testament and the New Testament.

[Master Gordon]

Re: My butt hurts

I have several questions of my own:

Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? (since 90% of us seem to be going there, I'd like to know more about this Hell place)

Why is this titled, "My butt hurts"? There was nothing regarding butts in this post. Except once, but it was a joke and not really important.

For being straight, why are so many members of this forum "ex-gay"? I've heard something like 'once you go in through the back, ain't no comin' back'. (not kidding)

Why is everyone evil? Seriously. I've seen a lot of people who are "going to Hell" and "being bathed in Satan's infernal spunk" (quote from one of the pastors). I don't really understand why.

If Satan punishes evil people, why does he hate God? Wouldn't that actually be helping God? I've never really understood that..

Your question is both moronic and childish at the same time.... If you are going to come onto the forum and ask stupid questions please try to be original....

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, “why do airplanes fly?” on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: “Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof.”
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, “that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you” and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true…Thus, hell is exothermic.”

any moron who can use google will find this ridiculous question...


The Lord Jesus Christ is the only thing you need to think about.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: My butt hurts

You know those thoughts you have in that head of yours. Well they're your thoughts. They're not God talking to you telling you that you and only you have the right view of God. You're making God up in your own head.

Imagine how chaotic it would be if everyone just made God up inside their own head within guidelines based on something they just about remember from Sunday school. We'd have people believing in a whole spectrum of stuff, each one claiming they have justification from God for the craziest of decisions but each one actually just following their own conscience.

Why they might as well just be atheists!

This is why it is vitally important for all people claiming to be Christians to refer to the Bible. All of it. Once you have done that for long enough you will know the Holy Spirit like we do.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: My butt hurts

I've been banned from this forum multiple times before. (Rainbow Dash, the same person who created the MLP topic)...

Are you so full of your own sense of importance that you expect us to know or remember what "the MLP topic" refers to?

I, for one, have no idea what you're talking about, so I consulted Wikipedia:

MLP may stand for:

Malta Labour Party
Marschollek, Lautenschläger und Partner, a large German financial services corporation
Mary-Louise Parker, an American actress
Master limited partnership
Memory Level Parallelism
Meridian Lossless Packing, a lossless compression codec for audio data
Mexican Liberal Party
Micro Leadframe Package, a surface mount integrated circuit package
Mid-level practitioner, an identifier used by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration to monitor the distribution of controlled substances
Mobile Landing Platform, a proposed amphibious warship design for the United States Navy
Mobile Launcher Platform, used as a launchpad for the Space Shuttle
Mobile Location Protocol, an application-level protocol for receiving the position of Mobile Stations
Modular Longitudinal Platform, an English translation of the Volkswagen Group MLB platform (an automotive platform)
Mullan Pass VOR, an aviation navigational aid located at Mullan Pass, Montana.
Multilayer perceptron, a class of artificial neural network
Multilingual Publishing Pack, an extension for the Textpattern CMS
Multilink PPP
Multilink Procedure

You seem a bit "light the loafers," as they say, so I'm going to go out on a limb and assume the last definition was the one that applied to your field of gay interest:

My Little Pony a toy aimed at girls originating in the 1980s which has also spawned multiple TV series

I'm curious, friend, what's it like not being a man?

[Brother Shawn]

Re: My butt hurts

pervetkid,
You need to repent to your sins and seek out your local True Christian™ pastor at a Baptist Church. We are not exactly racist and homophobic. We believe in the word of God. God is truth. We believe what the truth tells us to believe. We are Christians that can't wait to get into the pearly gates of Heaven!

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: My butt hurts

pervetkid,
You need to repent to your sins and seek out your local True Christian™ pastor at a Baptist Church. We are not exactly racist and homophobic. We believe in the word of God. God is truth. We believe what the truth tells us to believe. We are Christians that can't wait to get into the pearly gates of Heaven!

And that word of God is...

Look, friend, I know you are trying to help but you just confuse atheists with this opinion stuff. If they think it's an opinion they just argue with it. Scripture! You haven't got the gift of Christian Discernment and until you do and are a True Christian™ how will they take you seriously?

Bible Search Search took 0.02 seconds.

Your search - pearly gates - did not match any documents.
No pages were found containing "pearly gates".

For example: I might say that God wants us to shun certain people.

1 Corinthians 5

11But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. 12For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? 13But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

Now how can you argue with that!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: My butt hurts

We are not exactly racist and homophobic...

What do you mean "we," and what do you mean, "not exactly?"

Do you now presume to be an official spokesman for the Landover Baptist Church, and are you implying that our rejection of racism and homophobia is anything less than complete and unwavering?

Friend, if you ever witness any kind of hate speech on this Web site, please notify a pastor immediately!

[Gloria]

Re: My butt hurts

I've been banned from this forum multiple times before. (Rainbow Dash, the same person who created the MLP topic) and I'd like to point a few things out.

I'm not a very religious person... I'm not an Atheist either. I have my beliefs. Just because someone doesn't shit bricks every time they hear God's name doesn't make them 'Evil' or against God.

There were LOADS of religions before Cristianity, you're going to have to accept this and move on.

You do NOT have to get butthurt if someone has different beliefs. Let's say you saw an athiest walking down the road, you wouldn't just run up to him, insult him, and physically harm him. You'd move on and accept the fact that people have the right to freedom of religion. Very first constitutional ammendment.

God doesn't hate homosexuals, Athiests, the disabled, etc... God is known by many as loving and forgiving. Hatred from God?

There have been LOADS of wars started over religion... The world would be a more peaceful place if everybody could accept one's beliefs and move on with their own.

Down syndrome is NOT a lifestyle choice. People with down syndrome are born with an extra 21st chromosome (or something like that). Homosexuality, taken from my other forum, is hormonal. For a male, it's when the body produces more estrogen, a female sex hormone, than the male alternative that it should have.

God does NOT hate Black/Asian/Brown people.
God doesn't just love white people. I'm white as white gets and to you people, I'd still be unloved by God.

Before you get butthurt and start lecturing me with bible verses, there's nothing you can do to change my opinion.

People have the right to an opinion. deal with it.

By the way, Just as a secondary question I'd like to ask you, how is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, in any way, pornographic?

The Bible, the living breathing Word of God clearly states that God hates the queers. God says that he gave them over to a reprobate mind!

Rom 1:18-32,is one of the most clear and powerful passages in His Word concerning Queers and Dikes says that God gives up on them completely.

By boning another man you are "leaving the natural use of the woman" (at least women do have some use!) burned in their lust one toward another, men with men working that which is unseemly, and RECEIVING IN THEMSELVES that recompence of their error which was MEET!!!"

It says right there pretty much that THEIR ERROR WAS LIKING MEAT!!!
And what kind of meat?
MAN MEAT!!!

NOT TO MENTION LESBIAN LAP LICKERS AND ALL THEIR PENIS ENVYING, MAN HATING, WOMANS LIBERATION VILE AFFECTIONS TOWARDS EACH OTHER.

Praise God for his wisdom in verse 32!!!
"Who knowing the judgement of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of DEATH!
not only do the same, but have PLEASURE IN THEM THAT DO THEM!!!"


YOU DON'T HAVE TO EVEN TAKE IT UP THE BUTT TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS DAMNATION, YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE QUEERS FOR FRIENDS OR BE A FREAKING FAG HAG, IF YOU WILL!


GOD I HATE FAGS SO DAMN MUCH!!!


UNTIL HE COMES,

CHADELICIOUS

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Not flaming here, don't get all butthurt.

I merely... leave my beliefs alone... you could say... and move on with my life.

This is not a sentence. Correct it immediately.

Retardeds are not allowed on God's favorite forum. Leave.