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  • #1

    Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

    Hello!
    Even though I may not always support your fundamentalistic **** – I'm always up for some praising of the lord!


    My name is E. Johansson and I am here – as a christian – to either learn (one can learn from anyone – as long as they have something interesting to say), or/and to discuss – not debate!


    My background in the church is mainly lutheran, except for a few visits in the local catholic church – a church, by the way, where I did not really fit in.


    And with that: I'm glad to be introduced, and I hope to meet some nice people during my stay here.


    Sincerely
    Johansson
    Last edited by VictoryOS; 01-03-2012, 10:05 PM. Reason: Watch the filthy language, pal.
    John 1:42 "And he brought him to Iesus. And when Iesus behold him, he said, thou art Simon the sonne of Iona, thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, a stone."
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

    Why start off with the potty language? Or are you simply here to mock us?



    Yours in Christ,

    Z. Smyth
    Posted via Mobile Device
    sigpic

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

      Let's start off with a simple bit of praise.

      What Bible verse do you think highlights something we should all praise God for?
      Posted via Mobile Device
      sigpic
      Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

      John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

      Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
      The truth about volcanos
      Sex and debauchery in public schools
      Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
      God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
      Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

        Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
        Let's start off with a simple bit of praise.

        What Bible verse do you think highlights something we should all praise God for?
        Posted via Mobile Device
        To be quite honest have I always found this picking out of verses to quite mundane. But if you're forcing a gun against my head then these kind of cryptic, but still illuminating, sentences might be of pleasure - for both the readers, and - of course - myself.

        Jona. 4
        "[10] Then said the LORD, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night:
        [11] And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?"
        John 1:42 "And he brought him to Iesus. And when Iesus behold him, he said, thou art Simon the sonne of Iona, thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, a stone."

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

          No one fits in the catholic church, friend. It is Satan's tool to stupify would-be True Christians™. Although the lutheran church is not much better, as it tries desperately to pretend to be catholic, only without the pope. I am glad to know you have thrown the shackles off your oppressive Satanic background and have come to praise Jesus as He wants to be praised!

          Tell us, friend, how many godly sons have you carried in your womb for your Savior? What is the most popular pie where you are from?
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

            Originally posted by E. Johansson View Post
            To be quite honest have I always found this picking out of verses to quite mundane. But if you're forcing a gun against my head then these kind of cryptic, but still illuminating, sentences might be of pleasure - for both the readers, and - of course - myself.

            Jona. 4
            "[10] Then said the LORD, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night:
            [11] And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?"
            And why, in your opinion, does this show God is especially worthy of praise?
            sigpic
            Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

            John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

            Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
            The truth about volcanos
            Sex and debauchery in public schools
            Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
            God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
            Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

              Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
              And why, in your opinion, does this show God is especially worthy of praise?
              It is – first of all – a praise to our God's grace and forgiveness. It's not one of those often misused and – if I might to say – trashed pieces of sermon, we usually witness in congregation. Secondly in just it's wording: it's an attrubute to God's glory.


              Well, really – I could continue all day, but what is the point? What do I have to prove?
              John 1:42 "And he brought him to Iesus. And when Iesus behold him, he said, thou art Simon the sonne of Iona, thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, a stone."

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

                Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                Tell us, friend, how many godly sons have you carried in your womb for your Savior? What is the most popular pie where you are from?
                You seem to have confused me with someone else. I don't: Either bake pies - of any sort, or have "carried in your (me) womb for your (me) Savior."

                I think I am a Man, for Pete's sake!

                Sincerely
                Johansson
                John 1:42 "And he brought him to Iesus. And when Iesus behold him, he said, thou art Simon the sonne of Iona, thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, a stone."

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

                  Originally posted by E. Johansson View Post
                  You seem to have confused me with someone else. I don't: Either bake pies - of any sort, or have "carried in your (me) womb for your (me) Savior."

                  I think I am a Man, for Pete's sake!

                  Sincerely
                  Johansson
                  My! I'm drunk! Please excuse me! Both for the drunkenness and for the misspellings! !

                  My! I'm drunk! Please excuse me! Both for the drunkenness and for the misspellings! !
                  John 1:42 "And he brought him to Iesus. And when Iesus behold him, he said, thou art Simon the sonne of Iona, thou shalt be called Cephas, which is by interpretation, a stone."

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

                    Son, come back when the effects of the malt liquor have worn off. We can work on Saving your Soul then. We can also resolve that stutter.
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

                      Originally posted by E. Johansson View Post
                      My! I'm drunk! Please excuse me! Both for the drunkenness and for the misspellings! !

                      My! I'm drunk! Please excuse me! Both for the drunkenness and for the misspellings! !
                      Isn't it a bit early to be that drunk on a Tuesday, even by Swedish standard?
                      "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
                      John 8:32

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

                        Originally posted by Brother Helge View Post
                        Isn't it a bit early to be that drunk on a Tuesday, even by Swedish standard?
                        This Swede is cutting it pretty thin with the Lord (about as thin as those Swedes cut that wood veneer over there) brother Helge.

                        Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

                        - Galatians 5:21
                        Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                        brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                        ...and get off my lawn
                        sigpic

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                        • #13
                          Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

                          What's Johansson for some kind of name? Swiss?

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                          • #14
                            Re: Hello! (from mr. Johansson, to all of You)

                            I know it's hard to do, but we really should try not to make fun of the Swiss for their funny sounding names.
                            Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                            in 2016

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