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  • #1

    Hello all!

    I just moved here to Iowa from California. Yuck. I don't even want to talk about that place. Anyhow I'm 18 and I'm really looking for a nice TrueChristian™ boy to take me as his own and let me be the wife god made me to be. First however, I must make myself a TrueChristian™.

    Here is my favorite verse from the bible.

    Ephesians 5:22
    "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

    I hope to get along just well here.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hello all!

    Welcome to God's favorite forum. What church does your father take you to?

    If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

    If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

    You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

    Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hello all!

      Welcome aboard, young lady! I'm very sorry I couldn't get California cleaned up for you before you left.

      Regarding your rapacious desire to find yourself a man, I do understand that at your age, your hormones are probably out of control, but I must caution you that this is NOT a dating site!
      WARNING:
      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello all!

        Hello, welcome here! Hope it is okay to suggest you some Bible verses to think about next time you'll have a silent time with our Lord:

        1 Corinthians 11:8

        For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.

        1 Timothy 2:11-14

        Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
        But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
        For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
        And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression

        1 Timothy 2:9-10

        In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
        But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.        [/I]
        [/COLOR]

        And I guess you do not want to die during birth, so, beware:
        1 Timothy 2:15

        Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

        Will pray for you! Remember, TrueChristian™ men will love your soul, do not forget to train it with tremble and fear.
        YIC
        Last edited by Lady Effect; 01-27-2012, 01:06 PM. Reason: typos
        Aspiring Proverbs 31 woman.
        Praise !

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello all!

          What is it like to live in Des Moines? I hear it is a real Heathen Hole.

          You need to tell us more about you. What verse in the KJV is most likely to get you to open up for Our Lord and allow His Divinity to enter you?

          What horrors did you commit to toss your worthless soul into the gutter of depravity and despair prior to realizing Jesus was there to Save you? Nothing is better than the story of a persons repentance.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hello all!

            How is the Tranny situation there?

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello all!

              Originally posted by SavethTheTrollops View Post
              How is the Tranny situation there?
              Friend, I'm not sure this is the proper place to be discussing transmissions. Don't you think you ought to find a car forum to discuss trannies?
              Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


              Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com

              Comment

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