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Browsing through the website has eventuated in me having fits of laughter. I truly appreciate everyone's help. Thank you.
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Re: Thank you for the humour
You think loving Jesus is funny?!?!Originally posted by Zeno-- View Post
Enjoy Hell sinner!
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Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!! -
Re: Thank you for the humour
Humor? I've dedicated my uterus to delivering as many Godly sons as my LORD and Master will give me. Do you honestly think I would do that as part of a joke?Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Thank you for the humour
You're quite welcome, sunshine, but do you know who will have the last laugh?
Psalm 52:6-7: The righteous also shall see, and fear, and shall laugh at him: Lo, [this is] the man [that] made not God his strength; but trusted in the abundance of his riches, [and] strengthened himself in his wickedness.
Prov. 1:26-27: I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.
You —> 
<— God and us
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Thank you for the humour
Why does this person think he is saved and in any way assured of laughing about the plight of burning unsaved?sigpic
Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.
John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?
Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.Comment
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Re: Thank you for the humour
Hmmm, a superfluous "u" in the thread title, a made-up word, overly polite (thanking people for just doing their God-given duties)...Originally posted by Zeno-- View Post
Canuckistani alert!
Careful with this one, friends. He'll be trying to put cheese curds and gravy on your Freedom Fries, next.
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Re: Thank you for the humour
well, Zorro, you got a mighty queer sense of humor. They aint nothin funny about savin peoples souls from the eternal fires of damnation! You aughta get right with Christ, AND Kirk Cameron for that matter!
YIC,
Lori HGenesis 1:24
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."Comment
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Re: Thank you for the humour
Great, another retard canuck. Not that I drink anymore, but when I did ages ago I had the misfortune of consuming a mouthful of that putrid moose urine they call "beer".Originally posted by Didymus Much View PostHmmm, a superfluous "u" in the thread title, a made-up word, overly polite (thanking people for just doing their God-given duties)...
Canuckistani alert!
Careful with this one, friends. He'll be trying to put cheese curds and gravy on your Freedom Fries, next.
When I was on missionary work up there in the early 90's most of them claimed they invented the American game of hockey....
Hockey has it's origins in my home state of Kentucky.
-Every young man's battle - PORN AND MASTURBATION![/SIZE]
-DISOWN your ATHEIST children - just like this good mother did!!
-FINALLY!! Some rights for the rapists!!
-There is no such thing as animal abuse!!
-Pregnancy through RAPE is a GIFT from God
-Keep the Fags out of the Boy Scouts!!
-WIVES!! Stay in your abusive relationship!
STOP, DROP & ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL!!!!
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Re: Thank you for the humour
I must admit I'm confused by this post. I have been here almost a year now and I have never found a humor section. Have I missed something?
or is this fool just retarded?
Ecclesiastes 7:6
For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool: this also is vanity.
YIC
JackGenesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
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I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.Comment
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Re: Thank you for the humour
I laugh most every time I come to the forum, myself.Originally posted by Zero-- View Post
There's always some ridiculous atheistard or liberal false Christian making idiotic claims about Jesus or the Bible. You know the sort -- "I'm too busy to ever read the Bible, but I'm pretty sure it says that you should love homosexuals and witches."
It's funny at times, but also very, very sad.
After all, they will spend eternity being burned alive in God's Lake of Fire.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: Thank you for the humour
Was Brother Monty doing his blackface mammy comedy act again?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Thank you for the humour
Not that Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, but I do seem to recall there is quite a bit of material in the Bible (KJV1611) – (probably enough for a Gilbert & Sullivan patter song) about the punishment fitting the sin.Originally posted by Jack O'fagan View Post
Other than that, I vaguely recall that we do have a joke thread around here somewhere.Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawnsigpicComment
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Re: Thank you for the humour
Indeed. When liberal false Christian space cadets ask, "Doesn't the Bible say ...?", the answer is just about always no.Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View PostThis church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Thank you for the humour
You're quite welcome.
God's word does bring laughter and joy, doesn't it?
Please tell us about how you came to find Jesus.1 Corinthians 14:34 Shut up and get back in the kitchen!Comment
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