Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

[Don Draper]

Hello & Humbled to be among Brethren...

I don't attend any church unless you count the basement AA meetings which I attend somewhat regularly for graphic titillation and the fact that it seems to curb my weakness for good scotch...

I admit I have weakness for the flesh & there is a revolving door of vulnerable, needy, tender-loined middle aged high-income divorcees with yoga tight thighs fresh out of 28 days in rehab to fulfill my lust-full desires...

...of which I am deeply ashamed... and find myself defenseless...

My favorite Bible Verse is King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) Galatians 5:21

Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

I found Jesus, outside Home Depot in Sonoma County when I last got out of rehab & pulled up my U-Haul & needed a cheap Mexican to help me unload it.

I've fornicated over much of Asia, surely spreading Herpes to women here & abroad, some half my age and some old enough to be in need of dentures...

I'm looking to quench my thirst for salvation... although often I feel as if there is no repentance for a man such as I... and if I'm going to BURN IN HELL FOR ETERNITY... I think to myself, "If I'm going to HELL for misdemeanors, I might as well chock up a few good felonies on the way down..."

So what I'm trying to say is... Should I even bother with the effort for a weak wino womanizer like myself to be saved...???

Regards,

Don

[Little Donkey]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Don, I'm troubled by your sinful past - can you explain in any more detail about your activities in Asia? Some of the Pastors here take special interest in the slopes. Now what you need to do right away is believe that Jesus is your Lord and Savior - then you can be Saved.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Welcome, Don! What a coincidence: I too live in the SF Bay Area, AND I'm a clean 'n' sober former drug addict! Why don't you tell me the day, time, and location of your favorite AA meeting, and I'll meet you there!

I'm very concerned about this business with the "yoga tight thighs." Surely these women aren't brazen enough to actually show up at AA meetings wearing tight yoga pants that cling to their every curve!?



I feel called upon to come and monitor the situation. Together, Don, we will be strong in the Lord!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Do you hear that Don? Brother Faith offers you to help you fight for the Lord, and I'm sure he will go toe to toe with you on the tights issue.

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Don, I'm troubled by your sinful past - can you explain in any more detail about your activities in Asia? Some of the Pastors here take special interest in the slopes. Now what you need to do right away is believe that Jesus is your Lord and Savior - then you can be Saved.

Lil Donk..

I wholeheartedly appreciate your concern. If I was blessed with typing speed of a court reporter on amphetamines, Id surely contract tunnel carpel syndrome if I even briefly attempted to describe my fornications with each of the Slopes, Gooks & Charlies I can remember paying to fulfill my (hazy blackouts) sinful carnal desires. Lets just say that if Chris Hanson were to be doing a Dateline NBC Report from Asia, I'd surely be living with a Negroid roommate and pleasuring him nightly with tossed salads & anal gratification.

In the coming days, when I can break away from my role as a Tea Party Double Agent Secret Opp in the tree hugging Green Industry, ill extoll on my sins with the nubile Asian prostitutes with tight tummies & moistened vaginal regions.

In the meantime please pray for my soul as I am the most grevious of sinners & possibly not worth of redemption thru Jesus Christ our lord & Saviour.

Warm Regards

Don Draper

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Welcome, Don! What a coincidence: I too live in the SF Bay Area, AND I'm a clean 'n' sober former drug addict! Why don't you tell me the day, time, and location of your favorite AA meeting, and I'll meet you there!

I'm very concerned about this business with the "yoga tight thighs." Surely these women aren't brazen enough to actually show up at AA meetings wearing tight yoga pants that cling to their every curve!?



I feel called upon to come and monitor the situation. Together, Don, we will be strong in the Lord!

Faith Machine

Honored & flattered to be accompanied by a fellow bretheren Land-Ovarian thru the temptious hallows of local AA meetings where I find it almost impossible to resist the temptation to pounce upon middle aged tight thighed Pilates efficianado newcomers & engage in the sinful practice of the 13th Step.

I live in Sonoma, partially because I need a distance between myself & The Tenderloin or I'd surely be committing the sin of bareback fornication with Ladies of the Evening, forever insuring my spiral towards eternal damnation.

Please email me as I am in need of Sponsorship with one who may possibly understand my plight.

Warm Regards

Don Draper

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Do you hear that Don? Brother Faith offers you to help you fight for the Lord, and I'm sure he will go toe to toe with you on the tights issue.

Brethren Wide Open

Grateful am I to be offered fellowship from thee & others to my journey back to Salvation!

Yet warn Faith Machine of my predilection towards influencing even the strongest of the faithful to part from their Christian ways & join me on a temptingly carnal voyage into the realm of needy vulnerable nymphonic yoga tight matrons in the hallows of high society AA meetings.

Warm regards

Don Draper

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

I don't understand a word this heathen is saying. Has the DOF checked it out yet?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

TL,DR

Regards,

Don

BLAH BLAH Pop Culture references, BLAH BLAH Snarky jokes BLAH BLAH Superiorty Complex


Warm Regards

Don Draper

SEE ABOVE

Don Draper

DITTO

Warm regards

Don Draper

Friend, why don't you drop the Mad Men act and tell us (seriously) why you're here. Jesus brought you here for a reason. Your supposed story is all over the map. How old are you really? I'm gonna guess early twenties.

We can't help you if you don't come clean with us. Let us help Jesus save you!

[John Scopes]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Greetings Mr. Draper, you are certainly one of the more disjointed new arrivals in some time to this place. My question is purely for scientific research, how often do you waste your DNA into non organic receptacles ?

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Friend, why don't you drop the Mad Men act and tell us (seriously) why you're here. Jesus brought you here for a reason. Your supposed story is all over the map. How old are you really? I'm gonna guess early twenties.

We can't help you if you don't come clean with us. Let us help Jesus save you!

Captain...

What brought me here is the hope of salvation, if there's still a chance... for I am a grievous sinner.

The 'Mad Man Act' as you call it is pretty close to who I am. For Anonymity sake I choose not to reveal my true name. My work in the world of Tree Huggers wouldn't understand the need for Redemption & my weakness of the flesh.

I am in my late 40s, lived in both the East Coast & West, and was abroad many years in Asia among Buddhists, Islamists, Hindus & even Joos.

So to continue on what brought me here was in my 'Sobriety' for the last 5 years, I have attended AA faithfully, but cringe at the "GOD OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING" knowing full & well there is only ONE as it is written in KJV.

Out of the mere fear of drinking again, which I know will truly destroy me again, I go to meetings. There I clasp hands in a circle, say "THE LORDS PRAYER" whilst staring up at the ceiling, knowing if I spoke what I know to be true, KJV, I would be banished and ostracized from AA 'Circles' and would fear falling back into the bottle from which I crawled...

Temptation always makes me attempt to sandwich myself between two upper echelon women whose hair spills down like root beer, smells of cinnamon and whose flesh has become my new addiction for which I fear there may be no cure.

I would be happy to allow FAITH MACHINE put me thru the LAND-OVARIAN Vetting Process if you see fit & with your permission, be my KJV AA Sponsor.

I appreciate your time & attention & beg of you to pray for my soul...

Warm Regards,

Don

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Greetings Mr. Draper, you are certainly one of the more disjointed new arrivals in some time to this place. My question is purely for scientific research, how often do you waste your DNA into non organic receptacles ?

John,

You are a Darwinian? Forgive my coming transgressions. Although being new to Landover Church and not yet a TRUE CHRISTIAN, I wish not to speak with those that do not believe in Jesus and the Immaculate Conception.

Rent "Planet of the Apes" and call Jane Goodall if you need someone to talk to...

Cold Regardless,

Don

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

I don't understand a word this heathen is saying. Has the DOF checked it out yet?

Ezekiel,

I'd be tickled pink & honored if the DOF checked me out.
I'll be sure to bend over & cough audibly when asked.

Your in Christ...

Don

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

I don't understand a word this heathen is saying. Has the DOF checked it out yet?

Indeed, something seems very fishy here. Does the DOF already have boots on the ground out here in Homerland? I'd be happy to do a little recon and surveillance if they need me to.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Captain...

What brought me here is the hope of salvation, if there's still a chance... for I am a grievous sinner.

The 'Mad Man Act' as you call it is pretty close to who I am. For Anonymity sake I choose not to reveal my true name. My work in the world of Tree Huggers wouldn't understand the need for Redemption & my weakness of the flesh.

I am in my late 40s, lived in both the East Coast & West, and was abroad many years in Asia among Buddhists, Islamists, Hindus & even Joos.

So to continue on what brought me here was in my 'Sobriety' for the last 5 years, I have attended AA faithfully, but cringe at the "GOD OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING" knowing full & well there is only ONE as it is written in KJV.

Out of the mere fear of drinking again, which I know will truly destroy me again, I go to meetings. There I clasp hands in a circle, say "THE LORDS PRAYER" whilst staring up at the ceiling, knowing if I spoke what I know to be true, KJV, I would be banished and ostracized from AA 'Circles' and would fear falling back into the bottle from which I crawled...

Temptation always makes me attempt to sandwich myself between two upper echelon women whose hair spills down like root beer, smells of cinnamon and whose flesh has become my new addiction for which I fear there may be no cure.

I would be happy to allow FAITH MACHINE put me thru the LAND-OVARIAN Vetting Process if you see fit & with your permission, be my KJV AA Sponsor.

I appreciate your time & attention & beg of you to pray for my soul...

Warm Regards,

Don

You know, up until that paragraph with the two women, I do believe you were being sincere. Listen "Don", don't try to be cute or funny, 'cuz Jesus isn't having it.

Salvation is about wanting SINCERELY to give your soul to the Lord. What salvation ISN'T is being a wiseacre on a Christian forum, so let's cut the hijinx and lay off the zany antics, OK?

John,

You are a Darwinian? Forgive my coming transgressions. Although being new to Landover Church and not yet a TRUE CHRISTIAN, I wish not to speak with those that do not believe in Jesus and the Immaculate Conception.

Rent "Planet of the Apes" and call Jane Goodall if you need someone to talk to...

Cold Regardless,

Don

Not "yet" a True Christan™!?!? I'll say! Pardon my French, but your a darned long way from being a True Christian™ pal!

Ezekiel,

I'd be tickled pink & honored if the DOF checked me out.
I'll be sure to bend over & cough audibly when asked.

Your in Christ...

Don

This isn't a homer pick-up joint and Pastor Ezekiel would sooner marry some washy-washy chinky-chink as he would check you for a hernia! You're on thin ice "Don"!