[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

I have never been an AA member, but when I was a wee lad, my mother used to drag me along to OA meetings since she couldn't afford a babysitter. So I absorbed a lot of that stuff by osmosis.

In my adult life, I did attend one Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting. This was well before I got saved, though. Naturally, trying to overcome a sex addiction without Jesus was like trying to drive a truck up a hill with an empty gas tank.

Also, the other people at that meeting were so much sicker than I was, that I actually left thinking I didn't have a problem.

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Anybody who's ever actually been to a twelve step meeting knows you don't stand up before speaking and there's no podium to walk to.


You wouldn't be making up stories just to impress us, would you?

Faith,

That depends on where you attend meetings. Some sit in circles, some at tables, however my Home Group is a Closed Speaker Discussion where tradition is to speak you come to the front.

I thought you'd been in AA for a time? Is it you that didn't attend? Were you ever a Friend of Bill W & Dr. Bob?

YIC

Don

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

I stood, walked to the potium and said, "My name is Don and I'm an alcoholic".

Anybody who's ever actually been to a twelve step meeting knows you don't stand up before speaking and there's no podium to walk to.


You wouldn't be making up stories just to impress us, would you?

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Brothers in Christ,

Tonight I went to my AA Home Group in Sonoma & mustered my courage to speak what I know to be true and which I've learned here from Landover Baptist Church.

When the time came to open up for sharing, I raised my hand, although I did fear retribution from the Big Book Thumpers & Higher Power of your Choosing Advocates. Well, to make a long story short, it wasn't pretty.

I stood, walked to the potium and said, "My name is Don and I'm an alcoholic".

The chorus resounded with the usual, "Hi Don."

"Well I've come a long way," I began, "... and I know now what it was I sought... and that was redemption thru Jesus Christ Our Lord & Saviour" at which a light audible sigh could be heard. I continued.

"Having whitenessed the Heathen Blasphemous HIGHER POWER nonsense for more years than I'd care to mention, I now..." pounded my fist... "declare myself saved thru the KJV Landover Church!" Grasping the sides of the podium I bent my elbow and raised my voice, with spittle dripping from my lips said, "And those of you who claim to create your own gOd of YOUR UNDERSTANDING will surely rot in hellfire for eternal damnation!"

At that moment, Ray & Lex, two lumber worker types, stood, approached me, grabbed me by my elbows and lifted me up off the ground. "Lay your hands off me!" I shouted. "Put me down or may you be struck by the vengeance of the Lord!"

Next thing I knew I was thrown headfirst down the stairs, feet akimbo, arms splayed & landing at the doorway of the local ALANON meeting.

Low & behold a bevy of lovely broken co-dependent women took pity on me, and Janice C, a lovely 30 something woman who was obviously used to a good beating, cleaned my wounds. I'd busted a lip on the hand rail on the way down & gotten a pretty good bump on my chin.

Home now with a frozen bag of peas on my mouth, I do not regret my STAND!

Thank you brothers as I will forge on even if it kills me...

YIC

DON

"And He took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; For this is My blood of the New Testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father's Kingdom" (Matthew 26:27-29 KJV)

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

That is a very inspiring video, Don!

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Give me the courage... as I fear being doused with piping hot Nescafe Instant Coffee... but if John Wyclif and William Tyndale can give their lives for KJV... so can I...

"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf54mweoPbg"


Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

This shall be my first test of carrying the message of Jesus & KJV...

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Friend, I look at any twelve step meeting as an opportunity to rebuke and witness to people whose minds have been deceived by unsound theology. The next time you find yourself in one of those meetings, don't even wait for them to get done reading the twelve steps and the twelve traditions: Just stand up and start testifying about what Jesus has done for you and don't stop until somebody's saved!

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

That's very nice, but I think you may have gotten the wrong idea about my relationship with Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is a cult which preaches such platitudes as "take what you like and leave the rest," along with the notion that your "higher power" can be anything you want or believe it to be.

Such ideas are totally contrary to Christianity, and must be soundly rejected. I would no sooner be an AA sponsor than I'd be a Catholic Priest or a voodoo witch doctor!

Faith,

I couldn't agree more. Was it thru Jesus' name you were saved from your addiction? I haven't seemed to string together more than a couple years with attending the AA CULT. I silently reject the Higher Power notion but fear of what awaits if I wander too far from the pack. Please advise.

YIC

Don

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Indeed, something seems very fishy here. Does the DOF already have boots on the ground out here in Homerland? I'd be happy to do a little recon and surveillance if they need me to.

Faith Machine,

I'd be honored to be vetted, reconned, surveyed or scrupled...
Let me know if you'd like to hit a meeting one of these days...
But not the where they say the Lords Prayer with heathens...
Marin County is where the saving begins... and 13th step ends.

Yours in Jesus Name,

Don

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

You know, up until that paragraph with the two women, I do believe you were being sincere. Listen "Don", don't try to be cute or funny, 'cuz Jesus isn't having it.

Captain...
If it weren't for a smidgen of humor, I'd be drunk now...
If this is what you wish for me, so be it...

1 Samuel 25:32-38 - Nabal died after a drunken spree.

Salvation is about wanting SINCERELY to give your soul to the Lord. What salvation ISN'T is being a wiseacre on a Christian forum, so let's cut the hijinx and lay off the zany antics, OK?

I can't give myself SINCERELY, because I'm not SINCERE yet...
Hoping with your help, I'll be able to hex the hijinx & zany antics...
But for now, I'm this far (thumb & index finger inch) from a drink...
And humor is about the only thing keeping from the liquor store...

Not "yet" a True Christan™!?!? I'll say! Pardon my French, but your a darned long way from being a True Christian™ pal!

So very true you are Oh Captain My Captian...
Not a True Christian by any stretch yet...
But I wish not to speak to Darwinians...
For they believe we fornicated with apes...

Leviticus 18:23: "Nor shall you mate with any animal, to defile yourself with."

This isn't a homer pick-up joint and Pastor Ezekiel would sooner marry some washy-washy chinky-chink as he would check you for a hernia! You're on thin ice "Don"!

Captain,

admittedly I'm feeling a little punchy lately...
I apologize for the transgression to Pastro Ezekiel...
I wish to be given the reason to live in Jesus' Light...
If I may not enter the gates of Heaven & am forbidden...
Just tell me now & i'll get it over with and have a drink...

Sincerely this time,

Don

"Do not be a fool--why die before your time?" (Ecclesiastes 7:17b)

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

I would be happy to allow FAITH MACHINE put me thru the LAND-OVARIAN Vetting Process if you see fit & with your permission, be my KJV AA Sponsor.

That's very nice, but I think you may have gotten the wrong idea about my relationship with Alcoholics Anonymous. AA is a cult which preaches such platitudes as "take what you like and leave the rest," along with the notion that your "higher power" can be anything you want or believe it to be.

Such ideas are totally contrary to Christianity, and must be soundly rejected. I would no sooner be an AA sponsor than I'd be a Catholic Priest or a voodoo witch doctor!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Captain...

What brought me here is the hope of salvation, if there's still a chance... for I am a grievous sinner.

The 'Mad Man Act' as you call it is pretty close to who I am. For Anonymity sake I choose not to reveal my true name. My work in the world of Tree Huggers wouldn't understand the need for Redemption & my weakness of the flesh.

I am in my late 40s, lived in both the East Coast & West, and was abroad many years in Asia among Buddhists, Islamists, Hindus & even Joos.

So to continue on what brought me here was in my 'Sobriety' for the last 5 years, I have attended AA faithfully, but cringe at the "GOD OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING" knowing full & well there is only ONE as it is written in KJV.

Out of the mere fear of drinking again, which I know will truly destroy me again, I go to meetings. There I clasp hands in a circle, say "THE LORDS PRAYER" whilst staring up at the ceiling, knowing if I spoke what I know to be true, KJV, I would be banished and ostracized from AA 'Circles' and would fear falling back into the bottle from which I crawled...

Temptation always makes me attempt to sandwich myself between two upper echelon women whose hair spills down like root beer, smells of cinnamon and whose flesh has become my new addiction for which I fear there may be no cure.

I would be happy to allow FAITH MACHINE put me thru the LAND-OVARIAN Vetting Process if you see fit & with your permission, be my KJV AA Sponsor.

I appreciate your time & attention & beg of you to pray for my soul...

Warm Regards,

Don

You know, up until that paragraph with the two women, I do believe you were being sincere. Listen "Don", don't try to be cute or funny, 'cuz Jesus isn't having it.

Salvation is about wanting SINCERELY to give your soul to the Lord. What salvation ISN'T is being a wiseacre on a Christian forum, so let's cut the hijinx and lay off the zany antics, OK?

John,

You are a Darwinian? Forgive my coming transgressions. Although being new to Landover Church and not yet a TRUE CHRISTIAN, I wish not to speak with those that do not believe in Jesus and the Immaculate Conception.

Rent "Planet of the Apes" and call Jane Goodall if you need someone to talk to...

Cold Regardless,

Don

Not "yet" a True Christan™!?!? I'll say! Pardon my French, but your a darned long way from being a True Christian™ pal!

Ezekiel,

I'd be tickled pink & honored if the DOF checked me out.
I'll be sure to bend over & cough audibly when asked.

Your in Christ...

Don

This isn't a homer pick-up joint and Pastor Ezekiel would sooner marry some washy-washy chinky-chink as he would check you for a hernia! You're on thin ice "Don"!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

I don't understand a word this heathen is saying. Has the DOF checked it out yet?

Indeed, something seems very fishy here. Does the DOF already have boots on the ground out here in Homerland? I'd be happy to do a little recon and surveillance if they need me to.

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

I don't understand a word this heathen is saying. Has the DOF checked it out yet?

Ezekiel,

I'd be tickled pink & honored if the DOF checked me out.
I'll be sure to bend over & cough audibly when asked.

Your in Christ...

Don

[Don Draper]

Re: Hello & Humbled to be among other KJV Christians in this Gomorrah Toilet of San Fran-Crisco

Greetings Mr. Draper, you are certainly one of the more disjointed new arrivals in some time to this place. My question is purely for scientific research, how often do you waste your DNA into non organic receptacles ?

John,

You are a Darwinian? Forgive my coming transgressions. Although being new to Landover Church and not yet a TRUE CHRISTIAN, I wish not to speak with those that do not believe in Jesus and the Immaculate Conception.

Rent "Planet of the Apes" and call Jane Goodall if you need someone to talk to...

Cold Regardless,

Don