Hello!

[True Daughter of God]

I would first like to apologize to Pastor Ezekiel for Unsaved Trash like myself speaking nonsense; I’m not sure what came over me... I am sure it must have been Lucifer himself! Pastor Ezekiel, I took my infraction very seriously and went straight to my Bible to read... as I picked up the good Lord's book and I felt inspired to turn to
1 Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.
What sweet inspiration that verse gives! Second, I would also like to thank the Pastor for giving unsaved trash like myself a chance to introduce myself. I am now a True Daughter of God. I say that because I have been saved from becoming Mitt Romney's second wife, sad but true. I was a member of the LDS so called faith. Then I was lured out of the LDS faith by evil science. But thank the Lord one spring day I whisked away into the Hands of the Lord and delivered to the doorstep of The Landover Baptist Church, and found God... I knew then that they are the only True Christians and that this is the Lords church. This then means I now am a “True” Daughter of God. After becoming a "True" Daughter of God first thing I did... I went to the Landover Baptist Church store and traded in my magic Mormon underwear and evil science ways for True Christian Landover Baptist abstinence thongs. As of now I have not found a Church as True as Landover Baptist so I am still looking for somewhere to attend. It's kind of hard to Praise the Lord at a Church that does not teach to do exactly what scripture teaches every Christian to do or teach from the KJV 1611. So I’m saving up my pennies so one day I can move to Freehold, Iowa and bask in the glorious True Christian worship with Pastor Deacon Fred Smith.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

Praise Jesus, and that's more like it, girl.

Now lease tell us about yourself, your husband, and your best Christian Pie Recipe.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[True Daughter of God]

Re: Hello!

Well thank you and thank you for asking... I didn't want to babble on too much (you know how us women can get.) Well I am a single woman, out here in the land of magic underwear I am sure you can believe how hard it must be for one to find a True Christian man. I am certain that the Lord one day will see it in his plans. So I will just hold fast to the Lord and practice my womanly duties like cooking, cleaning, mending and proper listening until the Lord blesses me to be the proper help mate to a loving True Christian man. Now on to pies... although I do love a good Christian pie, I consider myself more of a Cobbler girl. I love to make cobbler, my favorite to make is sweet peach cobbler. I am known to have the best sweet peach cobbler around. I know someday when the Lord blesses me with a True Christian husband, he will love my sweet peach cobbler and want it every night for dessert.
-Yours in Christ

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello!

I would first like .....tl;dr.......

Does your father know you are on the internet? A simple 'Yes' or 'No' is more than sufficient.

[True Daughter of God]

Re: Hello!

Does your father know you are on the internet? A simple 'Yes' or 'No' is more than sufficient.

Mr.Hutchins thank you for your Christian guidance on the proper way a good Christian woman should answer questions.
Q: Does your father know you are on the internet?
A: Yes

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello!

A cautious welcome, True D.O.G.!



If you remain in Utah, are you in danger of being sucked back into the Mormon cult? I know how persuasive they can be, what with their complete control over jobs, groceries, gasoline, and utilities in that area.

Perhaps you should move someplace safe for Christians, like Texas or Arizona? Or Idaho, there's quite a contingent of Christian Separatists there (see christianexodus.org for info about the Idaho group).

[True Daughter of God]

Re: Hello!

Thank you Rev. M. Rodimer for your warm and cautious welcome! Oh how the words you speak are so true and I assume also so divinely inspired... There is no doubt you are a True man of God. I too had the same thought about moving to a location that would be a safe haven for God fear folk such as myself. Although I am sure that there are lovely Christians in Idaho, Arizona, and Texas, it is unfortunate that those states are also in the top 10 states with the most Mormons members:
1. Utah
2. Idaho
5. Arizona
6. Texas
And you know how persuasive, sneaky, and controlling the Mormon are... I mean these are the same people who baptized the same dead Jewish woman over 5 times and claim they "didn't" know they did. Who knows what they will do to me a living person. They could kill me just so they could do a "baptism for the dead" on me to bring me back into their fold! I need to get far away out of their grasp! So thats why I think I just need to save my pennies and move to the promise land, Freehold, Iowa so I may attend Landover Baptist! Hummm... Maybe I will start holding bake sells to fund my move to the Land of True Christians... Because who can resist good Christian Pie & cookies!