Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

I tell you, there's no better feeling than satisfying Christ! I satisfy Him and He satisfies me right back!

[Johnathan]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

So what I'm hearing from you is that you're having a crisis of faith because you talked to an agnostic. Well, my friend, the solution is quite simple:

Don't talk to people who aren't Christians!

I know, I know, you're going to ask me, "But how will I win souls for Christ if I don't have discourse with unbelievers?"

Don't worry, friend: Talking to somebody about Jesus and listening to them are two completely separate things! I like to wear these when I'm witnessing:

I agree, and your godly advice shall always be taken unto full consideration by me. I have seen the light once more, and have trusted unto the LORD to deal with the heathens, and I know that I satisfy Christ HIMSELF by my preaching, especially when I don't listen to Satan-worshipping mumbo jumbo. Shouting 'Lalalala' (not 'wolololo' as the do) seals my godly ear canals from any heathen talk as well.

Yours in Christ, Johnathan.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

I have come here in order to renew my faith as a True Christian™, because I have felt a spiritual crisis dawning on me. As I was attempting to save a lost agnostic, he told me that the LORD hath given us an arbitrary existence. He actually told me that "the meaning of life isn't just to go to a non-existent [Lord have mercy] Hell or Heaven just because some sadistic egotistical god made a random set of rules". He also told me that the KJV1611© Bible® was "too old" and "unreliable". I know I am to forgive the sinner, but I simply cannot help it. How am I to let this go, and entrust my faith back in Jesus Christ?

Please, help me send a message to that unsaved heathen:

So what I'm hearing from you is that you're having a crisis of faith because you talked to an agnostic. Well, my friend, the solution is quite simple:

Don't talk to people who aren't Christians!

I know, I know, you're going to ask me, "But how will I win souls for Christ if I don't have discourse with unbelievers?"

Don't worry, friend: Talking to somebody about Jesus and listening to them are two completely separate things! I like to wear these when I'm witnessing:

[Johnathan]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

Thank you, my Brother in Christ™. My Seed of Life®, which has repeatedly filled up my wife (As she was acting as my incubator for the LORD), has bore me 3 wholesome True Christian™ children. LORD bless her obedience, her UNQUESTIONING devotion, and willingness to contribute to the blessed Army of Christ. My children are BLESSED to know that CHRIST their LORD and SAVIOR LOVES and DIED for them. And whenever they forget this, we may consult the Good Book's advice. For as the word of god says in Proverbs 13:24,
"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."

CHRIST, in his INFINITE wisdom, knew that the rod was only intended out of love for my servants of God©, and as such that I need only to SLEEP EASY at night, knowing that I hath SERVED the LORD. Praise be unto Jesus!

Yours in Christ.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

Welcome friend! You seem like a well balanced Christian who knows the Inerrant Word Of God as written in the KJV is the only word to follow.
How many sons has your spraying Seed of Life(r) created for Christs Army?

[Johnathan]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

I cannot believe that even Satan HIMSELF would spread such wicked and heathen ideas! What next? "Free-thought"? "Egalitarianism"? I am too shocked. SHOCKED! I must seek Christ's blessing, and pray that I not dwell on the ATROCIOUS actions that Satan does.

We may consult Psalm 5:11 of the Good Book to see why we must trust in the LORD:

"But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee."

Verily it is our LORD who keeps us on the straight path. It is our LORD who EMPOWERS us to resist such sin. When we put our trust in CHRIST, we are rewarded. Secular Logic and Reasoning has NO PLACE in my good humble abode, and on this spiritually blessed forum. NO PLACE! Praise the LORD!

[Bob4God]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

Brother in Christ, I thank you for your agreement. Our holy bible is just too beautiful and rational, only the devil HIMSELF could have turned people away from it and daring to question it.

For all the 6,000 years that Earth has been here, the Devil has never grown tired of his same old trick: Luring people away from JESUS CHRIST with the promise of sinful things like autonomy, individuality, and guiltless sex.

I am thankful that the LORD JESUS has given me strength to resist temptation, and a keen Christian mind to see through trickery like secular science and philosophy.

[Johnathan]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

Brother in Christ, I thank you for your agreement. Our holy bible is just too beautiful and rational, only the devil HIMSELF could have turned people away from it and daring to question it. May the LORD have mercy. However, I constantly see revised versions of our sacred book being distributed here. Every where I go in my town's unsaved bookstore, I see books talking about our Savior Jesus Christ not even existing! I actually saw a "New Age 2012" Bible! (Lord have Mercy) I truly am shocked by the moral decadence of this city, and believe I must move further inland, for Missouri is truly a godfearing state, but is blemished by this city. These HEATHENS have chosen their path. They have rejected the lord, and dare speak ill about him.

As it was said in the good book of the LORD: Deuteronomy 28:58

"If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD;"


They have VIOLATED the good book, dare ALTER its laws, and for that they shall await ETERNAL damnation.

May the Lord enter their hearts, and may they find salvation. Amen.

Your god-fearing local car dealer, Johnathan.

[Bob4God]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

I have found that there is no religion or belief more logical than what we believe in. Praise the Lord!

I couldn't agree with this statement more.

Christianity is the only religion that makes any sense, but even at times when Christianity doesn't appear to make sense, it's only a validation of how awesome our GOD really is.

O LORD, how great are thy works! and thy thoughts are very deep. - Psalm 92:5

As for unbelievers, if they choose to damn themselves into HELLFIRE EVERLASTING because they are too willful and arrogant to supplicate before CHRIST, so be it.

[Johnathan]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

Thank you for the warm reception, brother. I believe that my time on this godly forum will help to better my relationship with Christ, and as True Christians™, I feel that we will help lead the way to salvation for all the unsaved. You good god-fearing folks have requested my favorite KJV1611 verse, and it is as follows:

31:15 (Exodus) "Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death."

My brothers and sisters in Christ, I believe that this verse shows the importance of the LORD's sacred day of rest, and how we as True Christians™ must never fail in properly honoring it. My whole life I was raised in a sacred Baptist church here in this godless city of Saint Louis (May the lord smite it off the holiness of this state), and I have found that there is no religion or belief more logical than what we believe in. Praise the Lord!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings brothers and sisters in Christ©

Shout glory! Welcome to God's favorite forum. If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Johnathan]

I have come here in order to renew my faith as a True Christian™, because I have felt a spiritual crisis dawning on me. As I was attempting to save a lost agnostic, he told me that the LORD hath given us an arbitrary existence. He actually told me that "the meaning of life isn't just to go to a non-existent [Lord have mercy] Hell or Heaven just because some sadistic egotistical god made a random set of rules". He also told me that the KJV1611© Bible® was "too old" and "unreliable". I know I am to forgive the sinner, but I simply cannot help it. How am I to let this go, and entrust my faith back in Jesus Christ?

Please, help me send a message to that unsaved heathen: