Hello my blessed friends

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

And your wife never served you blubber? Because I smell blubber on you, pal.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Brother Jared]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

I was worried, for a second I thought I could detecty a tinge of an accent from Copenhagendaz

I have Northern European roots, but please don't let that or any other things mislead you, dear friend. We both know God hates that place (http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=43415).

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

I was worried, for a second I thought I could detecty a tinge of an accent from Copenhagendaz

[Brother Jared]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

Ah, Des Moines. Such a hive of scum and villainy. But it is in Iowa, God's Favorite State©. At least you don't live in Europe!

Yes, I hope to bring some positive influence on all the heathens and sinners here (cf. Mark 16:15). Unlike the wastelands of Europe, there is at least a sanctuary nearby here, namely Freehold.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

Feral pigs.

[Brother Jared]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

I'm most thankful for your warm welcomes!

I always hunt by the words of God e.g. Proverbs 12:27. My favorite game would be elk or white-tailed deer. What is yours, my friend?

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

I am very sorry about my inaccuracy before and referring to Colossians 3:13 I ask for forgiveness. I recently moved to Des Moines but I hope one day to live with God's Elect in Freehold.

I assure you I'm strong in Faith and not an atheist, as they shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone (Revelation 21:8).

Ah, Des Moines. Such a hive of scum and villainy. But it is in Iowa, God's Favorite State(c). At least you don't live in Europe!

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

Hello Jared! I will throw caution to the wind and welcome you outright...I'm in a crazy mood.

What is your favorite game to hunt, friend?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

I second brother Portway's cautiously extended warm welcome, but let me add that it's nice to find a new arrival that can actually spell and form coherent sentences and paragraphs!

Welcome, Jared.

[Brother Jared]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

I am very sorry about my inaccuracy before and referring to Colossians 3:13 I ask for forgiveness. I recently moved to Des Moines but I hope one day to live with God's Elect in Freehold.

I assure you I'm strong in Faith and not an atheist, as they shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone (Revelation 21:8).

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Hello my blessed friends

Friend, I cautiously welcome you. You seem to be Landover material, but often those who seem to walk with Jesus are really just lying atheists trying to persecute us. I hope that is not the case with you.

[Brother Jared]

Hey everybody!

I've been blessed with 31 good years here on earth and I live my life by the words of the Bible to be saved from damnation. I moved to just outside Freehold recently from Ames, IA where I went to church in Heartland Baptist Church. I can however already see that the commitment and worship here truely outshines my previous community.

A few facts about myself:

My favorite bible quote: So many to choose from, but must be: "Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." -Psalm 16:11 (A popular choice - I know - but words of wisdom nevertheless)

Hours studying the Bible per week: 10-12

Job: Bookkeeper

Other hobbies: Hunting, fishing, community work

First time I truely felt God: About 10 years ago I woke up lying in bed and I had this strange feeling in my head. Lying there trying to figure out what this could be, because I never felt this way before. I went through alot trials and temptations those years but nothing of it could be compared to what I experienced one morning. It was like I was going stark mad, like I could run through a wall because of the kind of oppression I felt. I tried my best to get ready for work and I managed to do a full day. When I got home though, I couldn’t stand it anymore, I broke out it tears before the Lord, asking Him to heal me of this. Immediately I felt something touching the inside of my head, and the oppression left instantly. I was and am so happy for what the Lord has done and is still doing in my life. Praise His wonderful name for healing this Demon oppression.

I hope you will open your arms and let me in to your blessed community. I'm a man of Faith and I can furthermore testify to you, like Jesus did in John 8:14, I'm not a bastard and my stones and privy member are fully intact (Deuteronomy 23:1-2).

Brother Jared