Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

If you've been hanging out in Europistan, you've probably been brainwashed at least somewhat by the Muslims who dominate the landscape. Be sure to check your anus for bombs/demons that you may have inadvertently transported across the pond, inserted by sly Muslims who rape and defile unconscious Christians and camels.

The thing that bothers me, brother, is the attitude of secular doctors to repeated requests for anal scans for this very reason. Nowhere is the infiltration of Satan into very echelon of society more apparent than in the tendency of doctor after doctor to refuse your requests in this regard and to refer you to mental health practitioners. All European doctors are in on the conspiracy.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

Thanks Pastor Ezekiel, I'll be sure read the Thread and "un-noob" myself, and I'm not a foreigner I've just spent entirely too much time in Europe.

If you've been hanging out in Europistan, you've probably been brainwashed at least somewhat by the Muslims who dominate the landscape. Be sure to check your anus for bombs/demons that you may have inadvertently transported across the pond, inserted by sly Muslims who rape and defile unconscious Christians and camels.

[Joshua_Lee]

Re: Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

Thanks Pastor Ezekiel, I'll be sure read the Thread and "un-noob" myself, and I'm not a foreigner I've just spent entirely too much time in Europe.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

Greetings, members of Landover Baptist. My name is Joshua, I am a 22 year old Caucasian male Who until recently attended Susanna Missionary Baptist Church in West Virginia. I no longer have many attempts to attend real church due to joining the Army. My question relates to a problem I am experiencing with my faith. I have recently returned from Afghanistan(Feb 2011), and I'm having problems coping with memories and my christian life style. While serving my great country overseas, I killed a lot of things men, women, children, goats, mules, unicorns, and even the occasional camel. In an effort to cope I have been living in a world of alcohol and promiscuity(only with women of course). I was wondering if any of the pastors/senior members here who had better methods of coping, and also if Jesus forgives such actions.

You're a damned foreigner, aren't you.

Normal people don't talk like that.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

Congratulations of all the killing of the non-believers. I am very, very proud of you.

If you love Jesus, you will have faith. If you are an evil sinner, you will not walk hand in hand with Him and will be doomed to relive your worst nightmares over and over for all of eternity. So shape up soldier. God does not want wimps fighting for Christianty.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

[Joshua_Lee]

Re: Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

Thanks for the help. I'm going to repent right now!!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Indroduction/Quustions about Jesus.

Greetings, members of Landover Baptist. My name is Joshua, I am a 22 year old Caucasian male Who until recently attended Susanna Missionary Baptist Church in West Virginia. I no longer have many attempts to attend real church due to joining the Army. My question relates to a problem I am experiencing with my faith. I have recently returned from Afghanistan(Feb 2011), and I'm having problems coping with memories and my christian life style. While serving my great country overseas, I killed a lot of things men, women, children, goats, mules, unicorns, and even the occasional camel. In an effort to cope I have been living in a world of alcohol and promiscuity(only with women of course). I was wondering if any of the pastors/senior members here who had better methods of coping, and also if Jesus forgives such actions.

Well lookie here, he got us somebody who thinks he's only a partial sinner, 'cause his sin doesn't happen to involve the gaywise!

Sin is sin, buddy, and when Jesus watches you defile an innocent young lady, He weeps just as much as when He's forced to watch you getting your rectum defiled by some cucumber-wielding Nancy boy.

The answer to your question, though, is YES, Jesus forgives such actions. But only if you tell Him you're sorry and you accept Him as your personal savior.

Now then, regarding your failure to capitalize the word "Christian," I can't predict how Jesus is going to react to that.

[Joshua_Lee]

Greetings, members of Landover Baptist. My name is Joshua, I am a 22 year old Caucasian male Who until recently attended Susanna Missionary Baptist Church in West Virginia. I no longer have many attempts to attend real church due to joining the Army. My question relates to a problem I am experiencing with my faith. I have recently returned from Afghanistan(Feb 2011), and I'm having problems coping with memories and my christian life style. While serving my great country overseas, I killed a lot of things men, women, children, goats, mules, unicorns, and even the occasional camel. In an effort to cope I have been living in a world of alcohol and promiscuity(only with women of course). I was wondering if any of the pastors/senior members here who had better methods of coping, and also if Jesus forgives such actions.