[LaQrundrellia]

Re: A good colored Christian

I am too old and too dried up to be making them kids again. If God give me a husband I wouldn't know what to do.

I think that Redeemed Papist kinda cute or whatever and I know that the Holy Ghost be moving him and what not.

Still I ain't no marriage material, I just want to shine shoes for the Lord.

If Pastor Ezekiel will have me, I will be his shoe shine girl.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A good colored Christian

Sorry to hear about your ruined ladyplace, but you might still be able to bear young via Caesarean section. I'm not sure whether there are any Biblical proscriptions against such a procedure, but I imagine it might be less pleasing to God, as it does hurt less than natural childbirth.

Unless...

Hmmm... I'll bet the procedure could be performed without anesthetic.

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: A good colored Christian

My coochie old and warn out and I rub Robitussin ointment on it to heal all the years of abuse from my prison mens that visited me harshly.

I serve Christ now by washing white folks' feet and shining shoes of the pastor, yessire.

I can spit shine with the best of em, despite my arthritis and bowl movements.

I even got me off of that medicaid cus my Pastor said that I din't earn it being a welfare breeder and all, so now I just got me the prayers of the congregation to heal me, praise the Lord.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A good colored Christian

Well praise the Lord! There's nothing vile about birthing soldiers for Christ, however. Have you thought about finding a good Christian husband and giving him a few sons?

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: A good colored Christian

I don't use my coochie for nothin vile anymore like makin lil niggas.

I just use it to pee and to praise Jesus by being celibate.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A good colored Christian

A hearty welcome to you, LaQu... LaQurenz...

Um, how about if I just call you LQ for short?

I am curious, do you have a hottentot's physique?

You don't go around dressed like this, do you?

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: A good colored Christian

La Mancha, welcome! I may be on a road trip through Georgia soon as I frequently travel to southern Florida in my van. I live in the northeast part of the country and my importing business takes me right through your area. Maybe I can visit your church with you some Sunday and grovel with you. I am slightly hard of hearing, so I may not be able to sit with you in the back pews, so I will probably have to sit in the white section, but we could communicate through hand signals.

[Jedediah]

Re: A good colored Christian

I just hope that in heaven Jesus give me a white body and a white mind and a white soul so I can truly know Him.

I din't make any lil nigras in over 20 years and my only son wanted to be George Washington Carver and make some peanut butter but the po leece arrested him saying it was the crack cockaine and then he went to jail and got the aids and done died.

Now I am all alone and only have me some Jesus, who I do know be white.

That is very conscientious of you. If only all other doe Negresses would stop making little Negro calves and instead devote their lives to being nannies for the privileged progeny of our nation's Job Creators, white and delightsome as they are, our world would be a better place.

Have you considered studying to become and Ex-Negro?

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: A good colored Christian

I just hope that in heaven Jesus give me a white body and a white mind and a white soul so I can truly know Him.

I din't make any lil nigras in over 20 years and my only son wanted to be George Washington Carver and make some peanut butter but the po leece arrested him saying it was the crack cockaine and then he went to jail and got the aids and done died.

Now I am all alone and only have me some Jesus, who I do know be white.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A good colored Christian

Hey girl;

Welcome to God's favorite forum. Just don't get lippy with your betters. Work hard and you might even become an ex-negress.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A good colored Christian

Hello Mr. Reverend sir.

Thank you for speaking with me, sir. I felt Jesus creep into my legs one day when I was waiting for the bus and I knew it wasn't right to try to take white folks seats from them, so I got up and praised Jesus and found me a real Baptist church to worship in.

Now I always give up my seat for White Christian folk and I know that ho Rosa Parks be burning in hell right now, yessire.

LaQuinta, there are no races in God's eyes.

Galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

There are True Christians™, who will spend eternity in Heaven praising and serving Him without question, and there is "everybody else", who will spend eternity being burned alive in God's Lake of Fire.

While there may be more crime and sin among the black folks, probably due to their relatively short exposure to Christianity (just a couple of hundred years), that doesn't mean that all white people are Heavenbound.

Do you understand, L'Quetzalcoatl?

[James Hutchins]

Re: A good colored Christian

Who do you work for? Why are you online during working hours? Normally you people only come on to our site Saturday evenings.

How many niglets have you produced? Do you know who all the fathers are?

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: A good colored Christian

Hello, L'Mnomquah!

What brought you to Jesus?

Hello Mr. Reverend sir.

Thank you for speaking with me, sir. I felt Jesus creep into my legs one day when I was waiting for the bus and I knew it wasn't right to try to take white folks seats from them, so I got up and praised Jesus and found me a real Baptist church to worship in.

Now I always give up my seat for White Christian folk and I know that ho Rosa Parks be burning in hell right now, yessire.

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: A good colored Christian

Welcome LaQrunrnjnskljf!

Have you considered taking on a good, white name, like Suzanne, or Marilyn? Then it wouldn't make people stupider to pronounce it.

Are you for sale? Cindy Lou could use some help around the house, and I have a little extra cash to invest. Who is your master?

Hello, Mr. Jenkem.

Yessire, I wants me a white name but I feel I gotsa to deserve it first.

I consider only Jesus my master now, but I am not no abolitionist-contritionist, so I am open to doing the will of Jesus in anyway He sees fit.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A good colored Christian

Hello,

I am LaQrundrellia.

Hello, L'Mnomquah!

What brought you to Jesus?