I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

I'm glad to hear you've decided to turn to the real Bible, the 1611 KJV. Are you married? If so, how many sons has your wife born you?

Somehow, I have managed to stay single all these years. I am considering adopting a young boy or two...

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

Please forgive me, Brother Pendergast. My previous Christian teachers fall far, far short of Landover standards, which is why God led me to this site to begin with (that and I Googled "Why do blacks look like apes?"). I am learning everyday and I have corrected my favorite bible passage to the NKJ 1611 version. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. As far as Jesus being standoffish, well...clearly he saw the failings of inferior Christian teachings and that I needed to prove my worth to him, henceforth now that I have become a forum member and hopefully on my way to being excepted as a True Christian™, I feel Jesus has given me a break.

I'm glad to hear you've decided to turn to the real Bible, the 1611 KJV. Are you married? If so, how many sons has your wife born you?

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

Easy there Tonto, you've got a long way to go before you can even THINK of calling yourself a Saved© True Christian™.

And correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't it accepted not excepted? I always screw that up too. I also get your and you're wrong alot of the time and whatnot.

Oh my! Yes, it is accepted. My achilles heel is their and there. As far as being a True Christian™, I know my aspirations are high but I refuse NOT to have a goal in life.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

. . . now that I have become a forum member and hopefully on my way to being excepted as a True Christian™

Easy there Tonto, you've got a long way to go before you can even THINK of calling yourself a Saved(c) True Christian(tm).

And correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't it accepted not excepted? I always screw that up too. I also get your and you're wrong alot of the time and whatnot.

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

Welcome to the forum, Thaddeus. I see you quoted your favorite Bible passage from the Not King James Version. We use only the 1611 KJV on this site. The NKJV is a perversion. While it claims that the New Testament is based on the Textus Receptus, it is in fact at variance with it in 1200 places. And in what way was Jesus standoffish? I'm curious what you mean by that.

Please forgive me, Brother Pendergast. My previous Christian teachers fall far, far short of Landover standards, which is why God led me to this site to begin with (that and I Googled "Why do blacks look like apes?"). I am learning everyday and I have corrected my favorite bible passage to the NKJ 1611 version. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. As far as Jesus being standoffish, well...clearly he saw the failings of inferior Christian teachings and that I needed to prove my worth to him, henceforth now that I have become a forum member and hopefully on my way to being excepted as a True Christian™, I feel Jesus has given me a break.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

No, I'm white.

Are you sure?

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

Welcome to the forum, Thaddeus. I see you quoted your favorite Bible passage from the Not King James Version. We use only the 1611 KJV on this site. The NKJV is a perversion. While it claims that the New Testament is based on the Textus Receptus, it is in fact at variance with it in 1200 places. And in what way was Jesus standoffish? I'm curious what you mean by that.

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

Welcome to our friendly forums, Mr. Allerton!

Chicago is home to Obama's church program, the "Down Low" in which "it’s OK to go ahead and have sex with men, just as long as you ‘get with the program’ and marry a woman, somebody no straight guy would want to marry.”
Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2012/10/trinity-c...A7UA2AJmsTo.99

How does your church rebuke them?

It's not easy. Today's gay man has gone to great lengths to conceal his gayness. Our church has a strict set of rules such as boy/girl/boy seating and services scheduled during peak gay oriented activities such as when "Dancing with the Stars" or "Keeping up with the Kardashians" is on TV. We keep track of male members who are absent during those times and those visibly uncomfortable sitting next to a female member and when a pattern develops we outcast them from the church.

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

A cautious welcome to you, Thaddeus.

Chicago, hmm? You're not one of Obummer's jackbooted ACORN thugs, are you?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

No, I'm white.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

Welcome to God's favorite forum. I hope you're not a joo.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

Welcome Mr. Thaddeus. Though I am glad you are here I am saddened that it took your infatuation with a lesser race to get you to come.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

A cautious welcome to you, Thaddeus.

Chicago, hmm? You're not one of Obummer's jackbooted ACORN thugs, are you?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

Welcome to our friendly forums, Mr. Allerton!

Chicago is home to Obama's church program, the "Down Low" in which "it’s OK to go ahead and have sex with men, just as long as you ‘get with the program’ and marry a woman, somebody no straight guy would want to marry.”
Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2012/10/trinity-c...A7UA2AJmsTo.99

How does your church rebuke them?

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I'm new here but old at being a Christian!

ADDENDUM: I currently go to the Triple Rock Baptist Church in Calumet City, Illinois. My favorite biblical verse is
10. 2 Kings 2:23-24
NKJV

Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you bald head! Go up, you bald head!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

I found Jesus a little standoffish but he came around...

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Hi everyone! My name is Thaddeus Allerton and I found this site when I googled "Why do blacks look like apes?". I truly believe God sent me here to hone my Christian virtues and make me a better man. My goal in life is to rid the planet of gays, blacks and Jews. And Arabs. And Muslims, Islam, bath houses and the Gay Pride Parade which gives my town a black eye every summer with their parade full of gay men with their chiseled bodies and sweaty muscles and short shorts with their behinds hanging out. Glad to be here!!!