Debt Collection

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Debt Collection

You hear that, sinner? Pastor Zeke is callin' your bluff!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Debt Collection

I take responsibility for any and all outstanding bills.

Post your video here and now. Then I'll pay you double.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Debt Collection

Friend, I'm not sure I care for your tone. And I resent the fact that you would resort to lying about me here, on OUR Holy forum. I used to have an alcohol problem, but that has been dealt with with the help of Jesus. It pains me that you would even suggest that I would drink while the lives of our good Pastors were in my hands. For shame sir, for shame!

One of your business associates gave me those bottles of Glenfiddich (note the correct spelling) 40 Year Old as a gift. I find it very unChristian of you to accuse me of stealing something that I was told was, and I'm quoting word for word here, "a token of our esteem with the hopes of continued fellowship for years to come".

As to the rest of the bill, you'll have to take that up with our Jew accountants. Neither the Pastors nor myself concern ourselves with such trivial financial matters when so many souls need saving.

I also think its pretty ungrateful that you want to charge US for casting demons out of YOUR unsaved employees. Seriously, I expected much more from a business man of your caliber.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Debt Collection

Do you know what Jesus thought of money lenders? Pastor Zeke is seen by many as "soft touch" because of his philanthropy and brotherly love of his fellow men. Accusations of financial impropriety are nothing new and once again it seems another chancer is on the make: the Federal report is clear that that money was resting in his account and not subject to ownership in mainland USA

Pastor Zeke and Brother Aaron are True Christians™ and are subject to God's own commands. Not the grubby paws of socialistisals

Maybe you should ask yourself why you felt compelled to come here?

Communist countries are most likely damed but did you realise the Good News?

Jesus is here for you. Let go of your Soviet ways and embrace the Love of The Lord.

YIC

[Matthew Hopkins]

Re: Debt Collection

Now don't be too hasty, Sergey Andreavitch, you know we are good for it here. There won't be any more misunderstandings, I promise.

YBIC

[Soulcollector]

To whom it may concern:

I am a representative of “Pacific Rim Pleasures” of Los Angeles.

I regret resorting to a semi public forum, but my company has attempted to contact Landover Baptist repeatedly concerning nonpayment of services rendered during the holiday season of 2012. All mail has been returned marked, “Undeliverable-Praise JESUS Filthy Heathen!” Repeated attempts to contact Landover Baptist via other means have been unsuccessful as well.

Two representatives of your church, Aaron Portway, and another person (later determined via videotape, many hours of in room videotape) to be Pastor Ezekiel Flint, were given carte blanche at our location on two occasions. In addition to services rendered at our establishment, and two bottles of very rare Glenfidditch taken by Captain Portway for “the flight home”, there are also four hours of limousine time billed for transportation to/from LAX and the pastor’s G650 “Landover Baptist Missionary Transport”.

The total bill was $47,500 for services rendered, including the two bottles of scotch, as well as $1800 for transportation costs. A single cashier’s check for the total, or the pastor’s AmEx Centurion Black card information will be acceptable.

In the event this bill is not settled promptly, within the next fifteen days, there will also be additional fees of $2000 per day imposed for “video storage”of the pastor’s exorcisms, and his oft repeated attempts to remove demons via the rectums of several adolescent Asian boys in our establishment. I have personally seen these videos, and can only congratulate the pastor on his stamina in performing the LORD’s work…….repeatedly.

After thirty days of nonpayment, who knows where those videos might end up? Our video storage is limited and it is entirely possible information might be accidentally leaked/hacked from the “cloud”. In event of continued nonpayment, our “Payment Collection Team” will also make a visit to Landover after the thirty day window to help the pastor discover the healing powers of Jesus.

Thank you for your time.

YIC,
Sergey “The Bonecrusher” Grigoryev