How I came to find Jesus

[James Hutchins]

Re: How I came to find Jesus

Welcome friend, have you supplied your last ten years 1040's to Miss Cookie in the Church office for our joo accountants to review and formulate a tithing schedule? I looked earlier today and did not see them or your application.
Have any True Christians(tm) completed the requisite sponsorship paperwork? I did not see your name or anyone from London on the schedule for a "meet and greet".
Being you are a brit, we will also need a signed affidavit from a dentist licensed to practice in the US of A certifying your teeth are all real and not wooden.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How I came to find Jesus

My favourite bible verse is Matthew 24:30 because it reminds me that one day all the Catholics, homosexuals, lesbians and feminazis will realise that Jesus is real and he is all powerful and the church I go to? Well all the churches near me are catholic and Mormon so me and my family are going to move to freehold Iowa where we can go to a good true Christian church.

You are not moving to Freehold, Iowa for several reasons. Don't presume, sinner.

What is your name, age and location? How many sons has your wife given you? What do you do for a living? And if you attend no Church, how do you Tithe?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Ryan Gray]

Re: How I came to find Jesus

Hello Praisehisholyname!

Tell us more about yourself. Where do you live, what kind of pies do you like, your political stance...

[Praisehisholyname]

Re: How I came to find Jesus

My favourite bible verse is Matthew 24:30 because it reminds me that one day all the Catholics, homosexuals, lesbians and feminazis will realise that Jesus is real and he is all powerful and the church I go to? Well all the churches near me are catholic and Mormon so me and my family are going to move to freehold Iowa where we can go to a good true Christian church.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: How I came to find Jesus

Once I was a sinful hell bound atheist but one day because of Jesus I found this site and decided that I from that day on would always love Jesus and the bible

Hello friend!

Where do you go to church? Which Bible verse most gives you comfort in these godless times? What are your most disgusting sins that need to be washed away by the sweet, sweet blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ?

Spare no details!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: How I came to find Jesus

Welcome, friend. What would you like us to call you? Praisehisholyname seems a bit unwieldy. We'd also like to know what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

[Praisehisholyname]

Once I was a sinful hell bound atheist but one day because of Jesus I found this site and decided that I from that day on would always love Jesus and the bible