[Alterboy]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Dear Betha, do you have your husband's permission to be using his computer and to post online?
YIC,
Jon

[ExGay Alex]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Greetings, Bertha. Welcome to our forum!

[Bertha Vanacion]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Hi, there Mrs. Bertha! How are you? It's nice to see another lovely lady from the great state of Texas! Maybe you and I can BBQ some time!
YIC!

--Dria

I'd be so honored to BBQ with you hon! I love barbeques! They are such a spiritual event for me, all that hot, searing meat reminding me of Jesus' just punishment of the unrepentant spending eternity in hellfire. It's just so moving and inspirational! Don't you agree?!

YIC!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Thank you for rushing to my aid, Brother Harold!

I am reassured by Bertha's response, though. If she was hiding something (like secretly being an obese Negress, for example), I don't think her anger would have seemed so genuine.

Bertha, regarding these three friends of yours who are also named Bertha, would you happen to have any full-body photos of them?

As a Christian, I am naturally concerned about their health, and would like to be of assistance, so I'd like to see what we're working with.

I figure if they have Web cams, I could, perhaps, lead them in daily aerobics sessions.

[Alexandria Puckett]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Hi, there Mrs. Bertha! How are you? It's nice to see another lovely lady from the great state of Texas! Maybe you and I can BBQ some time!
YIC!

--Dria

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Greetings y'all!

How dare you, Sir! To insult a lady in such a way is unforgivible! I only hope -- for your sake -- that the lovely people who run this site won't ban you forever for such a foul insult. And I'll have you know that, of the three other ladies I know named Bertha, only two of them are large negresses ... the other one is a fat white lady from Louisiana (aka Satan's Sewer System)

I was tempted to infract you for questioning the character and integrity of Brother Faith Machine, a True Christian™ and close friend. But after prayer, Jesus tells me that if you love Him, you will apologize forthright.

Remember your place when addressing your betters, young lady.

In Christ

[Bertha Vanacion]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Hi Bertha. Is that really you in that picture? The only reason I ask is that every Bertha I've ever known has been a really fat black lady.

How dare you, Sir! To insult a lady in such a way is unforgivible! I only hope -- for your sake -- that the lovely people who run this site won't ban you forever for such a foul insult. And I'll have you know that, of the three other ladies I know named Bertha, only two of them are large negresses ... the other one is a fat white lady from Louisiana (aka Satan's Sewer System)

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Hi Bertha. Is that really you in that picture? The only reason I ask is that every Bertha I've ever known has been a really fat black lady.

[Bertha Vanacion]

Re: Greetings y'all!

You expect Zeke to go to a TRAILER PARK???!???!

Oh, you're all too good for my double-wide! I'll have you know that my trailer has aluminum siding, heat, and TWO bathrooms (with running water in BOTH!), thank you very much! And Pastor Zeke is welcome to come witness to me wherever, whenever, and wearing whatever he chooses.

Um, while I'm on the subject, is anyone on here skilled at casting out demons? Yesterday, when I was blow-drying my hair out came a big puff of smoke and I almost caught my hair on fire! I'm sure this was Satan's work, and he sent one of his demons in through the electrical into that Made in China blow dryer to get me! Pray for me!

XOXO

B.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Greetings y'all!

...And it ain't no wonder you couldn't find Gurgling Gulch on Google. It's just the sweetest little old trailer park community...

...Well hello Pastor Ezekiel! You can come teach me the Bible anytime you want, hon! I'm in need of some individual instruction...

You expect Zeke to go to a TRAILER PARK???!???!

[Bertha Vanacion]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Well hello Pastor Ezekiel! You can come teach me the Bible anytime you want, hon! I'm in need of some individual instruction, and I bet you're just the man to deliver it.

And hon, how much longer am I gonna be labeled as "Unsaved trash" on here? I most certainly know that I am SAVED!

XOXO

B.

[Bertha Vanacion]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Hello Bertha Vanacion.
... and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

It means semen.

Honeybunch are you sure that's what it means? And here all that time I thought issue was referring to the National Enquierer! Lordy!

And it ain't no wonder you couldn't find Gurgling Gulch on Google. It's just the sweetest little old trailer park community right outta Tyler, Texas!Congressman Louis Gohmert is a native son! We're all so proud of him down here, watchin' out for us and protecting our country from those wicked Muslins and Arabs. Go Louis!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Welcome, Bertha, to God's favorite forum.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Greetings y'all!

Hello Bertha Vanacion.

You say that you like Ezekial 23:19 but I think you mean Ezekiel 23:19. If you keep reading you will see the word issue in the next verse which has a different meaning than most people are familiar with. Here is Ezekiel 23:20:

For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

It means semen.

Thank you.

Rusty

P.S. I could not find Gargling Gulch in the Google. Maybe you mean Agua Dulce.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Greetings y'all!

...I will pray for you that you do not get too far down the path of sin that you find yourself in some seedy roadhouse bar licking up spilled beer from the carpet!...

Have you found a straw to be more efficient?