[Attila's Wife]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

Brother Larry, I hesitate to say this as clearly you mean well, but some of that sounds just a little bit gay.

I will pray for you.

[Brother Larry]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)



Whereas I have turned away from my former roots in the evil roman (I refuse to capitalize the word) church, and

Whereas I know I was a sinner, doomed to the fiery pit of eternal damnation, and

Whereas, I have 40% of my income on direct deposit to the Landover Baptist Church (Unsaved not welcome), and

Whereas, I have tried to welcome unwashed trash, respected all True Christians, and have read the KJV1611 faithfully every day, and

Whereas it pains me to be called a sinner headed for aeternal damnation,

NOW THEREFORE: Since the brawny, handsome, chiseled, muscular Pastor Zeke (hey hey!) has caused me to become a forum member (I humbly kneel before you in thanks, you stud), I hope that some of you will bless me with your love and acceptance so that I endure not the pains of HELL, but rather the luxury of Apostles Grove (Marla Jennings Christian Realty, are you listening? I'm a prospective buyer).

Brother Larry

And all the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing: and hee doth according to his will in the armie of heauen, and among the inhabitants of the earth: and none can stay his hand, or say vnto him, What doest thou?

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

PS: Anyone know what to do with a rosary collection? They won't burn.

I think you'll find they will, in the Fiery Furnaces of Hell.

But congratulations, Brother, and welcome.

YiC
AW

[Brother Larry]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

Larry, I have read your comments subsequent to my own welcome to you and I have concluded that you are not a saved former Catholic, you are a current Catholic, an idol worshipper and one who prays to false gods. I further believe you are either a Roman priest or a liar and the penalty for either is a trip to the Lake of Fire that burns eternally.

God hates Catholics and liars equally. You Romans hung Jesus up on that cross and killed Him as a service to your fellow heathens, the Jews. God has no forgiveness for the likes of you and you can expect to go to Hell for your sins, which are many.

I believe you come here to this site for sport, to abuse Christians. That is not an original idea. Many have come here to try that and most of them are down in Hell with the Devil right now, suffering the searing flames of perdition.

I will pray for you, but I doubt it will do any good. It is God who decides these things and I think He probably harbors a burning hatred for you.

My good brother,

If you will read the thread "Shalom", I think you may have a new opinion of me. Not more than ten minutes ago, I was convicted by the Holy Spirit and a True Christian in this forum. As it I were blind, the scales fell from my eyes and I tossed my clerical collar (Neckwear for the Damned) and all other paraphernalia related to His Holyless into a pit of fire. It was rather symbolic for me, having realized that the fate met by these formerly treasured possessions was the same fate that I was speeding toward at the speed of stupidity.

I do not deserve the acceptance of this heaven-bound group, but I pray that my continued humility and spirit of true repentance will somehow convince you to allow me to remain in fellowship - even if I am only permitted in the outer sanctuary. I know that the paltry $50,000 I was going to contribute to the expansion of the church is not welcome, so I have torn up the check and thrown it into the fire as well. Perhaps when I am considered more than your mere shadows, I might be also considered worthy to donate and receive the blessings of our LORD.

In sackcloth and ashes,
Brother Larry

PS: Anyone know what to do with a rosary collection? They won't burn.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

Larry, I have read your comments subsequent to my own welcome to you and I have concluded that you are not a saved former Catholic, you are a current Catholic, an idol worshipper and one who prays to false gods. I further believe you are either a Roman priest or a liar and the penalty for either is a trip to the Lake of Fire that burns eternally.

God hates Catholics and liars equally. You Romans hung Jesus up on that cross and killed Him as a service to your fellow heathens, the Jews. God has no forgiveness for the likes of you and you can expect to go to Hell for your sins, which are many.

I believe you come here to this site for sport, to abuse Christians. That is not an original idea. Many have come here to try that and most of them are down in Hell with the Devil right now, suffering the searing flames of perdition.

I will pray for you, but I doubt it will do any good. It is God who decides these things and I think He probably harbors a burning hatred for you.

[Irinka the repentant jewess]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

"Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters." As your question appeared on my superfast personal computer, I was reminded of the admonition given above. And yes, I will marry. Of course I think you'd agree that these things should not be done hastily, so perhaps I will be ready in a few years.

James 4:13-16 appears to disagree with your attitude. Seriously, check it out. You simply might not have a few years....

[Brother Larry]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

I am glad to see you understand the Whore of Babylon as the Catholic Church.

Will you now marry and have children as God intended for you to? 1 Timothy 3:2

"Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters." As your question appeared on my superfast personal computer, I was reminded of the admonition given above. And yes, I will marry. Of course I think you'd agree that these things should not be done hastily, so perhaps I will be ready in a few years.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

Thomas, I wonder if you have that name because you are a doubter - or just angry because your computer misspells Bible verses everytime you quote them. (LOL, I know you're using Old English, LOL ROFL)

LOL. "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine." I'm sure our Lord Jesus has a sense of humor and I bet he smiles down on your condemning ass and has a good giggle. Hope to see you in the men's fellowship service one day and share a back slap. As Sister Mary Agatha said to me just last week - uh, last year - "Goodness, Father - get a smile on your face. People will think you're a Presbyterian." LOL

Barry, please show me one place where I have condemned you, or anyone, for that matter. By your incessant mocking you have done that all by yourself. Well done my boy. Enjoy your daily swim in the Lake of Fire

[Levi Jones]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

Thomas, I wonder if you have that name because you are a doubter - or just angry because your computer misspells Bible verses everytime you quote them. (LOL, I know you're using Old English, LOL ROFL)

No, he is using modern English. There is no biblical translation into Old English. Your church saw to that.

There is the Wycliffe version in middle English. You know, the guy the Catholics dug up the body and desecrated it for translating the Bible into English? Maybe you didn't know that.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

I am glad to see you understand the Whore of Babylon as the Catholic Church.

Will you now marry and have children as God intended for you to? 1 Timothy 3:2

[Brother Larry]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

Thomas, I wonder if you have that name because you are a doubter - or just angry because your computer misspells Bible verses everytime you quote them. (LOL, I know you're using Old English, LOL ROFL)

LOL. "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine." I'm sure our Lord Jesus has a sense of humor and I bet he smiles down on your condemning ass and has a good giggle. Hope to see you in the men's fellowship service one day and share a back slap. As Sister Mary Agatha said to me just last week - uh, last year - "Goodness, Father - get a smile on your face. People will think you're a Presbyterian." LOL

[Brother Larry]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

I wonder if I could trouble you to elaborate on a few of the many Bible-based reasons why the Roman Catholic "Church" is actually not Christian.

With Scripture, please.

Um, well, I think that no one, um, can dispute (our lady of lourdes forgive me) that the Revelation of John THE BAPTIST (Hallelujah to the Utmost) mentions the dreadful image of catholickism in the 17th chapter when the whore of Babylon raises her head, no doubt with a papist smirk on her unholy countenance and a line of children dressed in plaid at her side.

I might also point out that ring-kissers have the gall to revere a woman as a matriarch of their cult, when any Bible believing male knows that we are on this earth to rule our women, whether they be barefoot and pregnant or just barefoot. (Ephesians 5:22-23).

I would provide more but early mass - er, Sunday School comes quickly so I should get my rest.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

Let me try and help little Barry out a bit by giving him one or two pointers:

1. The position of Mary as a mediator between a penitenten and God:

Impossible: 1 John 2:1

My little children, these things write I vnto you, that ye sinne not. And if any man sinne, we haue an Aduocate with the Father, Iesus Christ the righteous

2. Statues in the Roman Catlick Church are used to venerate the person depicted:

This is pure blasphemy: Exodus 20:4, 5

4 Thou shalt not make vnto thee any grauen Image, or any likenesse of any thing that is in heauen aboue, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water vnder the earth.
5 Thou shalt not bow downe thy selfe to them, nor serue them: For I the Lord thy God am a iealous God, visiting the iniquitie of the fathers vpon the children, vnto the thirde and fourth generation of them that hate me

[Brother Larry]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

I swear to St Bernadette that I have indeed turned away from false doctrine. When my pastor stopped by yesterday, he said he was amazed at how sinless I looked without my priest's collar. As you get to know me, you'll find that just as the legendary Sister Taffy is a true icon of this church, so will I someday follow in her footsteps, with the angels flapping their wings in joy hovering above me. I may even pass the Betty Bowers test one of these days. May the one whose terrible sword sends out lightning bolts to slay the terrorists keep you in peace.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Ex-Catholic (I promise)

I wonder if I could trouble you to elaborate on a few of the many Bible-based reasons why the Roman Catholic "Church" is actually not Christian.

With Scripture, please.