[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Introduction.

Thank you brother Rusty I looked up "tenuous you should look that up" which I couldn't find but then I realized that you meant just "tenuous" and I thought maybe your grasp of basic grammar is tenuous I mean why would he put three sentences together and not use any punctuation so that it looks like one sentence then I figured it out you guys are much better at this forum thing and maybe the smart guys don't use periods I'm gonna write like that from now on thanks for the tip!

The man has a steel plate in his head from chink shrapnel he took home from Korea and threw on his BBQ one afternoon, just to see what would happen. Rusty has more godliness in his pinky than you do in your entire body. Be civil or be gone.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Introduction.

Dearest Van, Welcome to our friendly forums. Jesus is here daily, inspiring our Pastors to spew forth His wisdom and truth, since hell is quite heavily populated and Heaven has a few mansions to fill. Our Lord tells us to praise Him with musicke (2 Samuel 6:5 is an example of this being honored). I have often found the oboe to be an instrument preferred by homosexuals, but I am sure there are one or two straight men who, when faced with the choice of a bass guitar, a trombone, or a fine set of Ludwig drums, shout in a masculine voice, NO! It's the oboe for me! Many of our most manly artists are oboists, no doubt in my mind. Do you carry extra reeds in your purse? I recall Jerome, the oboist in my high school band, always kept reeds handy in a little pink coin purse that he wore around his neck on a feathery boa type thingy. Jerome was a real man's man and was friends with all us girls, offering to help us with hair and makeup. Father didn't care for Jerome but Mother loved his way with a hairbrush. Again, welcome, and strut that oboe, stud! NRL

There is a well known problem with the double reed instruments Sister Lamb, as you seem to be well aware - the particular skill required to play them has much to do with things we can't discuss on a family forum.

The oboe is just one example of the instruments in the double reed family, followed by the "English" horn (politely named after a country whose male population is largely regarded as pooftas), and lastly the bassoon (a PC name if there ever was one) - correctly called a Faggot in most European orchestral scores.

…
Are you concerned that your son/daughter might be a victim of the Homosexual Agenda rampant in the public schools system of today? One of the most obvious signs that your son/daughter has caught a case of "the Gays" is if he/she chooses to play the oboe (this also applies for the French Horn).

If your son/daughter comes home with one of these ungodly machines of agony, immediately take the perversion away. Explain to them that the oboe is French and as long as they live in this house they will not be blowing into anything gay. Tell your son/daughter that they should choose an instrument that has a proper gender role assigned to it (flutes for girls; trumpets for boys).
…

http://wikiality.wikia.com/Oboe

[Mrs. Paddy McIrish]

Re: Introduction.

Dear Rusty, I had no idea about the helicopters or any of the other stuff, and I'm very sorry for my cruel comments. Truly my grasp of the situation at hand was indeed tenuous, but it is no longer so.

Please accept my humble apology. Also, I hope you enjoy the fruitcake I am sending as a peace offering. (It's okay if you don't want to eat it - I'll understand).

As per Psalm 34:18, the Holy Bible tells us that the is more inclined to Save those who are apologetic.

Assuming your apology was authentic, then (as my old Negra housekeeper, Odetta ['Detta, for short] used to say) "Mmm hmm ... you jes' as sweet as a cool slice of wa'melon on a hot summer day on the firs' of the mumfth when the gub'mint done cut them welfare checks."

How I miss that silly Odetta!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Introduction.

Perverts probably misread everything!

Especially the Word of their Creator, which does not say to commit homosexual acts with furniture, as atheists like our friend here do obsessively.

The occasional rectal splinter does not compare to the anguish that awaits her/him/it.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Introduction.

you are the first person that has been mean to me but it is OK I forgive you look at Matthew 6:14-15 it says:

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Very good Rusty, you want the Father to forgive you of your many embarrassing and horrendous sins, right?

That's a good man.

[Walter Van Slyke]

Re: Introduction.

I say Wally should in fact apologize to you, my friend. If he is at least one-tenth the man you are, he will.

Dear Rusty, I had no idea about the helicopters or any of the other stuff, and I'm very sorry for my cruel comments. Truly my grasp of the situation at hand was indeed tenuous, but it is no longer so.

Please accept my humble apology. Also, I hope you enjoy the fruitcake I am sending as a peace offering. (It's okay if you don't want to eat it - I'll understand).

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Introduction.

...
I am not sarcastic any more but I can recognize it when I see it and you are being sarcastic. If you are not being sarcastic I apologize...

Hello Rusty,

You are absolutely right.

Ol' Wally was indeed being sarcastic, so you will have no need to apologize. He should read this verse (which you already follow):

Ephesians 5:4 (1611 King James Bible)

Neither filthinesse, nor foolish talking, nor iesting, which are not conuenient: but rather giuing of thankes.

I say Wally should in fact apologize to you, my friend. If he is at least one-tenth the man you are, he will.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Introduction.

Thank you brother Rusty I looked up "tenuous you should look that up" which I couldn't find but then I realized that you meant just "tenuous" and I thought maybe your grasp of basic grammar is tenuous I mean why would he put three sentences together and not use any punctuation so that it looks like one sentence then I figured it out you guys are much better at this forum thing and maybe the smart guys don't use periods I'm gonna write like that from now on thanks for the tip!

Hello Walter Van Slyke.

I am sorry that my writing style does not agree with you I try to take my time and make sure there are no mistakes but I have some problems it is a long story it was in the newspaper there were helicopters.

I am not sarcastic any more but I can recognize it when I see it and you are being sarcastic. If you are not being sarcastic I apologize.

The True Christians(tm) at Landover Baptist have been very kind to me even the Unsaved Trash and the Forum Members you are the first person that has been mean to me but it is OK I forgive you look at Matthew 6:14-15 it says:

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Jesus said that right after what people now call The Lord's Prayer and I think it should be part of The Lord's Prayer because it emphasizes some of what was said there but Jesus had already said Amen so that is that.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Introduction.

Dearest Van, Welcome to our friendly forums. Jesus is here daily, inspiring our Pastors to spew forth His wisdom and truth, since hell is quite heavily populated and Heaven has a few mansions to fill. Our Lord tells us to praise Him with musicke (2 Samuel 6:5 is an example of this being honored). I have often found the oboe to be an instrument preferred by homosexuals, but I am sure there are one or two straight men who, when faced with the choice of a bass guitar, a trombone, or a fine set of Ludwig drums, shout in a masculine voice, NO! It's the oboe for me! Many of our most manly artists are oboists, no doubt in my mind. Do you carry extra reeds in your purse? I recall Jerome, the oboist in my high school band, always kept reeds handy in a little pink coin purse that he wore around his neck on a feathery boa type thingy. Jerome was a real man's man and was friends with all us girls, offering to help us with hair and makeup. Father didn't care for Jerome but Mother loved his way with a hairbrush. Again, welcome, and strut that oboe, stud! NRL

[ExGay Alex]

Re: Introduction.

Thank you brother Rusty I looked up "tenuous you should look that up" which I couldn't find but then I realized that you meant just "tenuous" and I thought maybe your grasp of basic grammar is tenuous I mean why would he put three sentences together and not use any punctuation so that it looks like one sentence then I figured it out you guys are much better at this forum thing and maybe the smart guys don't use periods I'm gonna write like that from now on thanks for the tip!

I cannot believe you would be so mean about somebody who has suffered a brain injury! Rusty's punctuation skills may have disappeared along with 28 grams of his frontal lobe, but he is one of God's children and you should be nicer to your fellow man.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Introduction.

Van Slyke: How sad that this communication to you is inspired because you chose to berate my dear, sweet friend Rusty. I will have you know that Jesus Himself walks with Rusty daily, and I feel quite confident that if the LORD wanted Rusty to use more punctuation, the LORD would tell him so. In the meantime, heed this warning: Mess with Brother Rusty and enjoy your new life as a eunuch. God bless you! Now I shall greet our musician friend. NRL

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Introduction.

Thank you brother Rusty I looked up "tenuous you should look that up" which I couldn't find but then I realized that you meant just "tenuous" and I thought maybe your grasp of basic grammar is tenuous I mean why would he put three sentences together and not use any punctuation so that it looks like one sentence then I figured it out you guys are much better at this forum thing and maybe the smart guys don't use periods I'm gonna write like that from now on thanks for the tip!

Nice. Rusty has brain damage and yet he still manages to be polite to strangers.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Introduction.

Thank you brother Rusty I looked up "tenuous you should look that up" which I couldn't find but then I realized that you meant just "tenuous" and I thought maybe your grasp of basic grammar is tenuous I mean why would he put three sentences together and not use any punctuation so that it looks like one sentence then I figured it out you guys are much better at this forum thing and maybe the smart guys don't use periods I'm gonna write like that from now on thanks for the tip!

Grammar and punctuation are strange things. They can make the same wording totally different in meaning.

I would suggest you remember that and bear it in mind for future posts. Brother Rusty is a respected member of this community and, even though he is a a bit slow, due to an accident, his advice should be heeded.

As a footnote:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright, untill they open thier mouths to speak.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Introduction.

give salvation a chance.

Indeed Brother.

Unsaved Trash, note that Brother Billy Bob talks about SALVATION not SALIVATION.

Perverts probably misread everything!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Introduction.

Hello Walter Van Slyke.

Your grasp of the obvious is tenuous you should look that up it is a very descriptive word.

Thank you.

Rusty

Perhaps, but the choke hold on his genitals is anything but.

I wish that the unsaved would stop fingering themselves just long enough to open a Bible and give salvation a chance.