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  • My Introduction

    Greetings to all true believers. Non believers can go to hell and rot in eternal damnation.

    My name is Mike, and I live in Australia. I have been seeking out churches for the last few years, and I have tried a number of baptist churches- but none of them quite cut it. They are all so soft, a lot of them openly accept homers and other filthy people who don't care for the true words of the King James Bible.
    Because of this, I am without church- but you cannot hold this against me. It's either go to church and sit next to a filthy homer and risk catching aids if he breaths on me, or stay at home.

    Praise the lord and thank Jesus that I found Landover Baptist, a church I can join over the internet, and a True Christian church that follows the most true bible- the King James.

    My favorite bible verse is:

    Matthew 6:19-21:
    19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”



  • #2
    Re: My Introduction

    Welcome Mike!
    How many sons are gestating in your wifes pouch?

    What is it like living so close to all the gooks and slants. The smell must be something awful.
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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    • #3
      Re: My Introduction

      What kind of Bible you got there, Mike? NIV? ESV?

      We stick to the KJV here.



      Yours in Christ,

      Z. Smyth
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: My Introduction

        Originally posted by emmvee View Post
        Because of this, I am without church- but you cannot hold this against me. It's either go to church and sit next to a filthy homer and risk catching aids if he breaths on me, or stay at home.
        Welcome Why don't you place an ad in your local newspaper? There may be other believers in your neighborhood who are in the same situation. Jesus wants us to gather together in His name.

        For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. - Matthew 18:20
        YIC
        Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51

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        • #5
          Re: My Introduction

          Welcome, Mike. Tell us how you found Jesus.
          sigpicMt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

          Find out what the Bible says about: Fortnite: Battle Royale, asexuality, shaving, psychiatry, chronic fatigue syndrome, babies

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          • #6
            Re: My Introduction

            Thankyou all for welcoming me.
            I have four glorious sons, which helps me get over the fact that I also had to endure having daughters. But in the end, she was able to provide me with sons to carry on my seed and spread the word of the lord.
            My sons are studying the word of Christ, and I feel we will soon be able to create our own local congregation. But until then, I must keep my head low as I am surrounded by filth.

            I didn't find Jesus- he found me! He has been with me since I was a child, and I have sworn to always follow his word, as taught in the King James Version!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My Introduction

              Originally posted by emmvee View Post
              Thankyou all for welcoming me.
              I have four glorious sons, which helps me get over the fact that I also had to endure having daughters. But in the end, she was able to provide me with sons to carry on my seed and spread the word of the lord.
              My sons are studying the word of Christ, and I feel we will soon be able to create our own local congregation. But until then, I must keep my head low as I am surrounded by filth.

              I didn't find Jesus- he found me! He has been with me since I was a child, and I have sworn to always follow his word, as taught in the King James Version!
              Don't be too quick to discount a lady's place in the world. While I am aware of my inferiority in God's plan, I also know that you'd be hard pressed to find a man with a pie like mine; perhaps one day I will offer it to you. The smile on your face once you've tasted it will bring me joy.

              We in the USA always have open arms for those that are born in ungodly countries. While we are known for discouraging immigration, that only refers to messican catholics and canadian homosekshuls for the most part. Christians are always welcome here!

              Welcome to our friendly and engaging forums.

              NRL
              1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
              Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
              Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
              Locations in 50 States and Canada
              !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
              Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
              Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My Introduction

                Bring along your KJV and be welcome.

                Just don't bring your "beer"

                PRAISE THE LORD!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My Introduction

                  Dear Bruce;

                  How many abos do you own? I'm wondering if they work any better than our coons.

                  If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                  If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                  You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                  Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

                  YIC,

                  --Pastor Ezekiel
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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