[Sloanp001]

Re: Sloan

I used to live in Australia. I think a learnt a thing or two in the language.
G'day, mate. Hope ya haven't put some shrimp on the barbe. God's against the shrimp like Hell. And 'ow about those kangas, mate? Breeding n' boxing all over the place. What are ya putting in the you beaut billy bong tonigh', eh? 'Ow many boomers 'ave ya bopped? And 'ave you spotted a bunyip in ya days at Aus.

Forgive me True Christians. Have you looked in yellow pages for a better Church, Sloan?

Well done Mary, with your language skills you would fit in nicely with our Bogan population. Even so, most Australians would question your manners and education.http://www.landoverbaptist.net/core/...ilies/nono.gif

The only Churches you will find in the yellow pages are Papist, Charismatic, or Back slid-en Baptists who preach from the New American Standard. The Churches that keep the True Word of God tend not to advertise, but rely on word of mouth. They are also very select in who they let in.

Cheers.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Sloan

My marriage ended in divorce, a restraining order, and the judge ordering me to attend an Anger Management Program. I have little time for spare time interests, as my job as a Kangaroo Control Officer is pretty full on. The buggers breed like rabbits!

Hopefully I can find a decent woman, one who can handle a skinning knife competently, unlike the last incompetent lump I was married to.

Go well my Brother.

Hello Sloan, and welcome to our friendly forums! No doubt the LORD had some glorious plan to glorify Himself through your failed marriage, legal battles, and public embarrassment (Isaiah 48:9-11). You seem eager to please Him, and I do hope for your sake He will reward you this side of Heaven, even if just a little bit. Anyway, welcome! Any friend of Jesus is a friend of mine.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Sloan

Welcome to God's favorite forum. How many abos do you own?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Mary Thompson]

Re: Sloan

I used to live in Australia. I think a learnt a thing or two in the language.
G'day, mate. Hope ya haven't put some shrimp on the barbe. God's against the shrimp like Hell. And 'ow about those kangas, mate? Breeding n' boxing all over the place. What are ya putting in the you beaut billy bong tonigh', eh? 'Ow many boomers 'ave ya bopped? And 'ave you spotted a bunyip in ya days at Aus.

Forgive me True Christians. Have you looked in yellow pages for a better Church, Sloan?

[Sloanp001]

Re: Sloan

Welcome to God's favorite forum! Have you ever killed a kangaroo with your bare hands?

Once, when my shot gun jammed. You look very familiar, have you ever been to Australia?

[Sloanp001]

Re: Sloan

Brother Sloan:

You seem a man's man, one that is coveted by the ladies and yet one that is slow to make the jump into marriage. So - have you a bride and sons, or are you still in search of the perfectly obedient one that will make you whole? Tell us of your spare-time interests. I imagine you as a hunter. May God richly bless you as you continue your pursuit of souls for His Kingdom. Glory!

Doc

My marriage ended in divorce, a restraining order, and the judge ordering me to attend an Anger Management Program. I have little time for spare time interests, as my job as a Kangaroo Control Officer is pretty full on. The buggers breed like rabbits!

Hopefully I can find a decent woman, one who can handle a skinning knife competently, unlike the last incompetent lump I was married to.

Go well my Brother.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Sloan

Welcome to God's favorite forum! Have you ever killed a kangaroo with your bare hands?

[M. Mansfield, MD]

Re: Sloan

Brother Sloan:

You seem a man's man, one that is coveted by the ladies and yet one that is slow to make the jump into marriage. So - have you a bride and sons, or are you still in search of the perfectly obedient one that will make you whole? Tell us of your spare-time interests. I imagine you as a hunter. May God richly bless you as you continue your pursuit of souls for His Kingdom. Glory!

Doc

[Sloanp001]

Re: Sloan

Hi, Sloan.

I'm really liking your style.

I hear there are very few non-sodomites in your neck of the woods. You have my prayers and I wish you all the best in surviving down there.

Stay a while and read around. This Godly forum is nothing if not chock-full of God's Word, and with that, raw edificational powers from on High.

I Thess. 5:11: Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

I look forward to your contributions to the board.

Warm regards,

Pastor Ed

Thank you Pastor Ed. And thank you for your encouragement, we are indeed few in number, and your prayers are indeed coveted.

In the short time that I have been on this forum, I have found my-self truly inspired.

Go well my friend.

[Sloanp001]

Re: Sloan

Welcome Sloan,

It is inspiring to finally see an Aussie with an appreciation for The Lord.

Have the slants God righteously smote a few weeks ago finally surfaced? There has been much speculation as the root cause:
- Godless chinks?
- Forsaken mooslim jihadists?
- Malaysian homos?

Are there any plans in the region to celebrate God's victory?

Psalms 94:1 O LORD God, to whom vengeance belongeth; O God, to whom vengeance belongeth, shew thyself.

Thank you Frednekk. The more I read Scripture( Authorized King James Version) the more I get an appreciation for the rage God feels for the ungodly.

As for your question concerning those ungodly heathen, God must have been truly furious, He smote them into oblivion. I don't think we will be seeing them this side of eternity.

As for the cause, I would say all of the above, & you could throw in worship of false gods into the mix. Our God is a smiting God.

Go well friend.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Sloan

Hi, Sloan.

I'm really liking your style.

I hear there are very few non-sodomites in your neck of the woods. You have my prayers and I wish you all the best in surviving down there.

Stay a while and read around. This Godly forum is nothing if not chock-full of God's Word, and with that, raw edificational powers from on High.

I Thess. 5:11: Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

I look forward to your contributions to the board.

Warm regards,

Pastor Ed

[Sloanp001]

Re: Sloan

Welcome, Sloan. We are Christians here and are unused to harsh language. Please be apprised that strong language is never welcome. We understand that you are a countryman from far in the hinterlands, near to China, but certain formalities must be observed.

Tell us of your adventures among the unsaved wretches of Australia. We are thirsty for knowledge of the far reaches.

We understand that you people are having trouble with illegal aliens, who arrive in leaky boats. We have a similar problem with Negroes who sail here from Haiti, which is an island like your island, but populated by savage Nubians. We have found that the boats can be swamped by passing close with a large American vessel, thus rendering the occupants unable to continue to their destination. We have plenty of Negroes already. These Haitians mostly go to Florida, which is to the east, as they know that we have coastal artillery in Texas. Luckily, they don't know that our ammunition is scarce and we are saving it for the Yankees. They will be back eventually and they are much worse than a few soggy Negroes.

We have a lot of Mexicans, too, but they can be dealt with. We need some to mow the lawn, but when we see too many crossing our river, we release water from our dams and wash them into the sea. That has proven very efficacious.

We have more advice should you require it.

God Bless!

Thank you for your warm welcome Alvin. I admit to being a little rough around the edges, but I will try to tone down my language. Yes we do have a bit of a problem with illegal queue jumping terrorists posing as refugees, but as you pointed out, these boats are leaky, so most sink before we can catch them.
The ones that make it are deported to Indonesia where they should feel quite at home with the Muslim terrorists all ready there.

We have our own Mexican problem, other wise known as Victorians, who continuously invade our northern paradise to escape their cold southern hell hole. Unlike your Mexicans who at least can be useful, all Victorians do is infest our beaches & lay around all day.

I look forwards to the day when we close of our borders to all southern scum, I stand ready with my shot gun to help man the border patrol on that day.

I wish you all the best with your Yankee problem, we have a similar situation with Canberra. They are the source of many ungodly laws.

Cheers.

[Freddy Osborne]

Re: Sloan

Welcome Sloan,

It is inspiring to finally see an Aussie with an appreciation for The Lord.

Have the slants God righteously smote a few weeks ago finally surfaced? There has been much speculation as the root cause:
- Godless chinks?
- Forsaken mooslim jihadists?
- Malaysian homos?

Are there any plans in the region to celebrate God's victory?

Psalms 94:1 O LORD God, to whom vengeance belongeth; O God, to whom vengeance belongeth, shew thyself.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Sloan

Welcome, Sloan. We are Christians here and are unused to harsh language. Please be apprised that strong language is never welcome. We understand that you are a countryman from far in the hinterlands, near to China, but certain formalities must be observed.

Tell us of your adventures among the unsaved wretches of Australia. We are thirsty for knowledge of the far reaches.

We understand that you people are having trouble with illegal aliens, who arrive in leaky boats. We have a similar problem with Negroes who sail here from Haiti, which is an island like your island, but populated by savage Nubians. We have found that the boats can be swamped by passing close with a large American vessel, thus rendering the occupants unable to continue to their destination. We have plenty of Negroes already. These Haitians mostly go to Florida, which is to the east, as they know that we have coastal artillery in Texas. Luckily, they don't know that our ammunition is scarce and we are saving it for the Yankees. They will be back eventually and they are much worse than a few soggy Negroes.

We have a lot of Mexicans, too, but they can be dealt with. We need some to mow the lawn, but when we see too many crossing our river, we release water from our dams and wash them into the sea. That has proven very efficatious.

We have more advice should you require it.

God Bless!

[Sloanp001]

Re: Sloan

Welcome, Sloan. If you want to know Jesus, you need to know the Bible. Start reading here.

Thank you. I see you use the Authorized King James Version, good choice, I would have been out of here like a bat out of Hell if you had directed me to one of those Non Inspired Versions.

Its looking good.