Simply curious

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Simply curious

Good afternoon my name’s Kitty Kuriosity.

No it's not.

Start again. Please tell us your ACTUAL name, your age and gender, and your location. What church were you raised in? How many times have you read the Holy Bible?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Simply curious

Welcome Kitty!


I don't know if you have any Dollar Tree stores in your area or not. But in my area, the Dollar Tree stores actually have King James Bibles for $1.

Only problem is that those copies of The Word™ are pumped out by mongrel pirates in factories in Slantville, China. I don't think God is at all pleased at having His Word® translated into Engrish...

[BaptistBethany]

Re: Simply curious

Welcome Kitty!


I don't know if you have any Dollar Tree stores in your area or not. But in my area, the Dollar Tree stores actually have King James Bibles for $1.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Simply curious

That wasn't my intention when I chose that picture, but now that I look at it I can sort of see where one can get that assumption... I suppose I should find a different photo to use to prevent that...

The part about being "spiritually married to Christ" or "whoring yourself for satan" caught my attention. You don't see a middle ground between those two extremes?

NO! Thinking like that will land you in hell before you can blink twice!

See Matthew 12:30

30 He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Simply curious

Hello dear and a warm welcome to our friendly forums. I see that Brother Witch Hammer's comment was prompted by the inappropriate attire in your photo. Do you not have something more modest? Let 1 Timothy 2:9 be your guide here.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

I have not actually read the Bible in any form, but I understand that everyone here follows a specific version that’s not easily found except in a big book stores or online, so the “favorite verse” part of the Introduction questions is still open.

You will find the online version of the KJV here. It is not a quick read and you may find it daunting in places, but my advice would be to start at the beginning and work your way through until you come to the end. Don't hesitate to ask questions - our pastors love to help - but if you use the Search function on this site, you will find that most of your queries have probably already been answered.

I’m not a “highly educated” person, since I feel that learning from life itself is more important than a “one-size-fits-all” education from an overworked and underpaid school system. So, if my grammar is “off” at points, I apologize in advance.

GLORY! It is rare for a young woman to come here admitting her deficiencies. Nobody will criticize your grammar, except in the spirit of kindly instruction. Certainly, for us women it is more important that we learn the things that our dear mothers teach us - how to be a good wife, mother and home-maker.

I sympathize with having to attend a Lutheran funeral. I once had to attend a Cathlic one, in Godless Italy. What a performance that was! What with the robes and incense and speaking in tongues, it was more like a circus than a Christian ceremony.

I look forward to getting to know you better, dear.

YiC
AW

[KittyKuriosity]

Re: Simply curious

I assumed by your skanky profile pic that you are a hooker...

If you are not spiritually married to Christ, you are whoring yourself for satan...

That wasn't my intention when I chose that picture, but now that I look at it I can sort of see where one can get that assumption... I suppose I should find a different photo to use to prevent that...

The part about being "spiritually married to Christ" or "whoring yourself for satan" caught my attention. You don't see a middle ground between those two extremes?

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Simply curious

The implication that I'm a prostitute is a bit harsh, but thank you for the welcome.

I assumed by your skanky profile pic that you are a hooker...

If you are not spiritually married to Christ, you are whoring yourself for satan...

[KittyKuriosity]

Re: Simply curious

You've come to the right place, harlot. The Godly folk here will have you turned around in no time, and have you on your knees for Christ rather than every hairy stranger who offers you a twenty dollar bill. Welcome!

The implication that I'm a prostitute is a bit harsh, but thank you for the welcome.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Simply curious

You've come to the right place, harlot. The Godly folk here will have you turned around in no time, and have you on your knees for Christ rather than every hairy stranger who offers you a twenty dollar bill. Welcome!

[KittyKuriosity]

Good afternoon my name’s Kitty Kuriosity.
I’ve never been religious and the only times I’ve actually been to a church were for a few weddings (and 1 Lutheran funeral, which was an… interesting experience, to say the least). I’ve never felt it was necessary.
However, I ran across this website the other day and glanced around a few threads, and it’s piqued my interest in the subject. I have not actually read the Bible in any form, but I understand that everyone here follows a specific version that’s not easily found except in a big book stores or online, so the “favorite verse” part of the Introduction questions is still open.
As for the “what church [I] go to” and “how [I] came to find Jesus”, well, I think both of those were somewhat answered (or left unanswered) above…

I’m not a “highly educated” person, since I feel that learning from life itself is more important than a “one-size-fits-all” education from an overworked and underpaid school system. So, if my grammar is “off” at points, I apologize in advance.
I also hope that it’s alright for me to ask questions, since I may have several from time to time.

Well, now that that’s out of the way… um, how was everyone’s Easter? (I quickly scanned through the list of smiley icons and thought this was appropriate )