If I wanted to accept jesus into my life..

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: If I wanted to accept jesus into my life..

Prostrate to Him whenever He walks into a room. Crawl to Him and kiss His feet until He asks you to stop.
Offer Him your body as a means of letting Him get out His frustration on you, His servant through corporal punishment or other means.

Sorry dear, but could you provide the scriptural basis for this? I never prostrate myself to Mike. I never crawl to him either. He'd probably kick me if I did, and I'd deserve it for acting like a mere slave. Mike never lets his frustrations out on me. He punishes me when I deserve it, but that's a totally different matter.


And what's with the capital letters for 'his' and 'him'. They should only be capitalised at the start of a sentence or when talking about the Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ and his Father and Holy Ghost.

[Miracle Hope]

Re: If I wanted to accept jesus into my life..

what would i have to do?

Would you welcome me with open arms?

Yes. But I recommend for starters, join an anti-Slant program. If you are a woman, get married. Here is a list of things to do:
Don't speak without permission.
Keep your looks up for your Husband.
Allow Him to marry as many wives as He wishes.
Never disagree with Him. He is wise and we are dumb.
Never enjoy intercourse and never say no to Him.
Allow Him to punish you as He sees fit. Thank Him for it after.
Have every meal on the table in time. Make sure it's warm.
Give up any financial rights you may have to Him.
Accept that you are property and can be sold, whipped etc.
Give up your daughters to your visitors.
Never leave your house unless for DIRE necessity. Life or death.
Do not watch tv. Your only entertainment should be cooking and reading the Bible. Maybe sing if your Husband allows.
What you want doesn't matter. Your sole purpose is to please your Master.
Prostrate to Him whenever He walks into a room. Crawl to Him and kiss His feet until He asks you to stop.
Offer Him your body as a means of letting Him get out His frustration on you, His servant through corporal punishment or other means.
Pray to God every day to understand the limitations of a woman and to better serve your Lords.
Understand that you have no right to anything not even your children. They are His to do with as He sees fit.
Let Him beat you in front of the children if necessary, especially to instill in His daughters and Sons the position of a woman in His house.
Ok?

[lesdong chingchong]

what would i have to do?

Would you welcome me with open arms?