AnNuAL Boys Only Christmas PaRtY !!!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: AnNuAL Boys Only Christmas PaRtY !!!

Dear Brother Harry,

This is excellent news. My eldest, Mark at 19 and Matt (17) probably feel too old to attend but Luke and John will be there if we can get the airfares covered. I'm fairly certain this is not going to be a problem, as we've been saving on secular food by eating spreading the Gospel at a local charity a few times a week.

This is also a welcome change into the Christmas parties of the atheist world. Their repulsiveness is - as always - best depicted in the literary masterpiece by Jesus Christ!



1 Peter 4:3
For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:

Jesus would win the Booker Prize every year if the Gentiles had not changed it into a Boozer Prize for those who mock Jesus the worst! With your help the new generation has unprecedented HOPE to find Jesus before the End of Times makes all efforts futile.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Youth Minister Harry]

ATTENTION!!! BOYS ONLY!!!
CHRISTMAS EVE LOCK-IN!!!!

This year's theme is SUMMER IN DECEMBER, so bring your coconut oil and leave that shirt behind! Swim briefs will be provided as always!

If you're a Landover Baptist boy between the ages of 6-16, you'll be spending Christmas Eve locked in the youth center with Jesus and the LBC Youth Ministers! The No-Homo Boys Choir (AKA the Killing For Christ band) really knows how to pack 'em in, so be sure to grab hold of your seat now! We'll be working the Jesus into you so hard that we guarantee you'll be sweating like it's July before 9:00 PM! By Christmas morning, you'll be crying out in Glory and begging for Jesus to come!

The trailer is twice as wide this year, which means more room for Christ's love! The boys choir will show you what they've got in the front while DJ Zechariah pumps it up in the back side.

Several boys have been asking if DJ Faith_Machine is going to be there. I can tell by your quivering voices, huge eyes and tears of excitement that you can't wait for a repeat of what happened to you last year! Well, he's got a big surprise in store for you this year!

SEE YOU THERE! PRAISE JESUS!