[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Friend - Democrats are not communists, they are liberal capitalist imperialist SCUM. I am not a China man, but a Korea man. George Bernard Shaw is a famous personality who is a communist christian, however, you will likely say he is not True Christian TM, but nevertheless, he prays to a God, although you can say it is Satan the devil if you like.

You're so-o-o-o cute aren't you! I have a sudden urge to change your didy! Georgie boy died in 1950, btw! Actually, it was I who gave him the Nobel prize for Christmas! But you are cute! You're Santa's Little Boy, aren't you. Or course you are! My Un-Dun Baby boy! OK. You'll have a Hershey bar before you go to the camp! But. Just. One!

I deliver! Observe and learn!

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Anyway, enough about that. You are clearly a con artist who couldn't deliver Trixie Belden # 40 and nobody over the age of eight--maybe nine, some kids just aren't that sophisticated--would be dumb enough to believe in you.

Handy-Dandy! You'll have to learn to ask nicely. You know, whatsoever you ask in my name, that I will give you if you're nice. Obviously, if you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you can always ask Jesus, too. Let's see which one delivers first!

Meanwhile, you've been a bit naughty but, still, you'll be getting the rejected Nancy Drew that no-one else got to read when it was first written!

So knock off the nonsense, "Santa". People need to grow up and come to Jesus--The REAL Jesus, who will come back with a sword in His mouth so He can hold the reins of a horse coming down from the sky and finally set things right by sending everyone who doesn't obey Him to a lake of fire. Compared to that, flying reindeer and a lump of coal for naughty children is a joke.

Realistically Yours,
Handmaiden

Yes, I remember the sword incident very well. Baby Jesus was always a bit impractical, but I have to admire the strength of his masticatory apparatus! Such a nice boy he was. He was almost as cuddly as you were, when we met in Bloomingdales all those decades ago! But I digress. Jesus was indeed impractical. Any conventional deity would just have forgiven everyone with a nice everafter. Not Jesus. He had to make schemes almost as complicated as the killing methods of villains in the James Bond movies (did you get the home video set of them in 1984?). Seriously! Nails & crosses & bed linen?

Heck, I'm in a good mood. In addition to the book, I'll throw in a blind date for you!

Polarimetrically yours
Santa

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

The American word for communist is democrat. I have never known a Democrat to have any interest in Jesus other than to smirk and scoff at Him. The very idea of a Christian communist is ridiculous.

You have been decorated by one of our wise pastors for your obvious lying. Thus, we know, as if we would ever trust a Chinaman communist anyway (much less a false Chinaman), that you are a liar. Why don't you try to change our minds by listing the name of one single communist we would recognize who follows Jesus.

Friend - Democrats are not communists, they are liberal capitalist imperialist SCUM. I am not a China man, but a Korea man. George Bernard Shaw is a famous personality who is a communist christian, however, you will likely say he is not True Christian TM, but nevertheless, he prays to a God, although you can say it is Satan the devil if you like.

[handmaiden]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Okay "Santa", what gives? The notion that you can see what everybody is doing at all times is ridiculous. Only Jesus can do that . . .Or possibly Satan. The Bible is a little unclear on the exact extent of Satan's powers.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Satan was able to fly Jesus up to a really tall mountain (withOUT any reindeer) and show Him all the kingdoms in the whole world (more proof that the earth is flat), Then, Satan offered Jesus His pick of the litter to own if Jesus would just worship him. Jesus refused, of course. And that just shows that Satan is the god of this world, even though God is the God of the whole universe.

Anyway, enough about that. You are clearly a con artist who couldn't deliver Trixie Belden # 40 and nobody over the age of eight--maybe nine, some kids just aren't that sophisticated--would be dumb enough to believe in you.

Jesus is the real deal. We know it because the Bible tells us so. And the Bible cannot lie, because it was written by God, who the Bible tells us cannot lie. It's as clear as 2+2=4 is the same as 1+3=4. Or something like that, I don't waste my time on a lot of complicated math.

You are the ultimate fluffy-bunny religious figure--you're even sillier than a feminist, tree-hugging, gay-rights-supporting Jesus.

So knock off the nonsense, "Santa". People need to grow up and come to Jesus--The REAL Jesus, who will come back with a sword in His mouth so He can hold the reins of a horse coming down from the sky and finally set things right by sending everyone who doesn't obey Him to a lake of fire. Compared to that, flying reindeer and a lump of coal for naughty children is a joke.

Realistically Yours,
Handmaiden

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

The American word for communist is democrat. I have never known a Democrat to have any interest in Jesus other than to smirk and scoff at Him. The very idea of a Christian communist is ridiculous.

You have been decorated by one of our wise pastors for your obvious lying. Thus, we know, as if we would ever trust a Chinaman communist anyway (much less a false Chinaman), that you are a liar. Why don't you try to change our minds by listing the name of one single communist we would recognize who follows Jesus.

Alvin, darling boy! Why do you ignore me? We used to be good friends. And, no... I cannot bring you any actual nukes. No way! Donald asked me the same thing, and he's having quite a tantrum, because I had to refuse him, as well. So, don't take this personally.

Instead, you'll be getting the Alvin & The Chipmunks CD that you love so much! How's that?!

Marshall Kim--Some of us who admire your firm leadership skills have become concerned about your health.

It appears you are just a tad overweight. Please let us know if this is true and, if so, what you intend to do about it.

Johny Boy! You were always my favorite? How's life? And I can see that you still care for the health and well-being of your fellow men! A Mayor! I'd never have guessed! And you're getting old! But. Don't. Worry.

You've been nice and I'll give you just the thing you've been craving for! I hear that your previous Dila-Therm has reached the end of its lifespan (try to be a bit more careful, I'd like to get you something else one of these years)! Ho Ho Ho!

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

I did not know Santa believed the imperialist propaganda in the lamestream media. There are no mindless executions or death camps here. There is no proof of such things! Please visit Koryotours and see how glorious Korea is for yourself, it is not a bad place, yes there is famine in some parts but that is because of imperialist U.S. sanctions. I do not want my people to fear me, I just want them to have a good quality of life and to care for one-another. Lovely talking to you.

Dear Un,

Some people think that I am imaginary or that Jesus is, but at least I see the world as it is, but you live in an imaginary world. This apparently includes your body image.

Just use the fat camp gift profitably and next year you might get a nice box of Belgian chocolates!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Marshall Kim--Some of us who admire your firm leadership skills have become concerned about your health.

It appears you are just a tad overweight. Please let us know if this is true and, if so, what you intend to do about it.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

But there are many Christian communists.

The American word for communist is democrat. I have never known a Democrat to have any interest in Jesus other than to smirk and scoff at Him. The very idea of a Christian communist is ridiculous.

You have been decorated by one of our wise pastors for your obvious lying. Thus, we know, as if we would ever trust a Chinaman communist anyway (much less a false Chinaman), that you are a liar. Why don't you try to change our minds by listing the name of one single communist we would recognize who follows Jesus.

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

More than likely snowflake trolls from the DNC that still can't get over Trump's landslide win. What else to you expect for the purveyors of "free" stuff - the perfect pair, Santa Claus and socialism. Just as we've freed ourselves from Obamunism (or should that have been Juche Obamunism), they're all looking for a new angle.

It is a figure of speech when I say I'm sending my prayers. But there are many Christian communists. I am not a Democrat, and I despise Liberalism. Only socialism is the way.

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Un, my dear boy! Did you like the fondue set I gave you when you were studying in Switzerland? You were not supposed to dip your own body parts into the molten cheese. Read the instruction manual next time.

That said, you're an amateur. I mean, you try to utilize the same tools of Power that I and Jesus use but you're failing. Let me explain. You want power? OK, the tools to use are intimidation, guilt, and fear. Jesus wins big time when it comes to these, but I'm a close second. I admit that the deterrents that Jesus uses are mosly metaphysical but he also makes some great headlines with earthquakes, floods, mass shootings, disease, and an occasional asteroid strike. I can't compete with that. My only deterrent is to refrain from rewarding. Still, I do fairly well among kids. You have only hunger, intimidation of family members, mindless executions, and forced labor. OK, I concur... 1. Jesus, 2. You and me a distant third.

But that is not enough. You want power? You should also reward and while your punishments are locally effective (but inferior to those of Jesus), you fail miserably when it comes to rewarding. You have nothing to offer expect to the very tiny minority of high party officials, who only want to oust you. Jesus does better. He promises some supernatural rewards that cannot be disproven, you can't disprove it 100%.

I win here. My rewards are tangible goods. They may be cheap plastic but people LOVE cheap plastic. You can't even give your people that, nor can Jesus. 1. Santa (Ho, Ho, Ho, that's ME!), 2. Jesus, 3. you.

You expect worship. You get subdued fear. I deliver something real. My gifts do not depend on obscure readings of Juche or any other holy text. Try to beat that.

You've been naughty. No re-unification this year, but I'm sending you a two-week gift voucher for a fat camp on Baekdu Mountain.

I did not know Santa believed the imperialist propaganda in the lamestream media. There are no mindless executions or death camps here. There is no proof of such things! Please visit Koryotours and see how glorious Korea is for yourself, it is not a bad place, yes there is famine in some parts but that is because of imperialist U.S. sanctions. I do not want my people to fear me, I just want them to have a good quality of life and to care for one-another. Lovely talking to you.

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

More than likely snowflake trolls from the DNC that still can't get over Trump's landslide win. What else to you expect for the purveyors of "free" stuff - the perfect pair, Santa Claus and socialism. Just as we've freed ourselves from Obamunism (or should that have been Juche Obamunism), they're all looking for a new angle.

Bill, my boy! I give but I do not expect that anything will be given to me. I mete with a measure but do not expect that it would be measured to me with the same measure. Be nice Bill, and think about it!

The Cadillac 2016 XTS is coming your way. I give not grudgingly, nor of necessity, as I am a cheerful giver!

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Great. Two impersonators fall for each other. At least the second one impersonates a real person, I suppose that makes him (her?) somewhat less delusional?

Burn in , sinners!

Sweetie, whatever happened to you? Is this because of the gift list? I'm sorry (and I've said this umpteen times): I do not deliver alive Christian bodybuilder/bacherlors through chimneys to your stocking. It just won't work. You'll have to ask Jesus for that!

Your community of all people should know that the things done in someone's name are not at all imaginary. OK, some kids get an anxiety attack if I threaten them by giving less presents but mostly the joy and happiness and the plastic toys that trade owners are very real. Can you say that much of your invisible friend? You used to love me as a little girl! What happened? I know, when you were a child, you spoke as a child, you understood as a child: but when you became a spinster woman, you put away childish things. Or did you?

But you've been nice. No menfolk delivered but you'll be getting some yarn for your knitting. Make a bigger stocking and we'll reconsider your request next year!

Since when do communists pray?

Roland, you're a sweet boy. You've been nice! A case of Trappist Westvletern 12. 10.2% ABV is coming your way, as always!

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Friend, I wish for nothing other than the reunification of Korea and the happiness of the Korean people who have suffered brutally under imperialist sanctions, and for the glorious Juche socialist revolution to advance worldwide so that the workers can seize the means of production and break free from the liberal propaganda that has enslaved them. Thank you very much, Comrade Santa Claus, and a very merry christmas to you.

Un, my dear boy! Did you like the fondue set I gave you when you were studying in Switzerland? You were not supposed to dip your own body parts into the molten cheese. Read the instruction manual next time.

That said, you're an amateur. I mean, you try to utilize the same tools of Power that I and Jesus use but you're failing. Let me explain. You want power? OK, the tools to use are intimidation, guilt, and fear. Jesus wins big time when it comes to these, but I'm a close second. I admit that the deterrents that Jesus uses are mosly metaphysical but he also makes some great headlines with earthquakes, floods, mass shootings, disease, and an occasional asteroid strike. I can't compete with that. My only deterrent is to refrain from rewarding. Still, I do fairly well among kids. You have only hunger, intimidation of family members, mindless executions, and forced labor. OK, I concur... 1. Jesus, 2. You and me a distant third.

But that is not enough. You want power? You should also reward and while your punishments are locally effective (but inferior to those of Jesus), you fail miserably when it comes to rewarding. You have nothing to offer expect to the very tiny minority of high party officials, who only want to oust you. Jesus does better. He promises some supernatural rewards that cannot be disproven, you can't disprove it 100%.

I win here. My rewards are tangible goods. They may be cheap plastic but people LOVE cheap plastic. You can't even give your people that, nor can Jesus. 1. Santa (Ho, Ho, Ho, that's ME!), 2. Jesus, 3. you.

You expect worship. You get subdued fear. I deliver something real. My gifts do not depend on obscure readings of Juche or any other holy text. Try to beat that.

You've been naughty. No re-unification this year, but I'm sending you a two-week gift voucher for a fat camp on Baekdu Mountain.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Since when do communists pray?

More than likely snowflake trolls from the DNC that still can't get over Trump's landslide win. What else to you expect for the purveyors of "free" stuff - the perfect pair, Santa Claus and socialism. Just as we've freed ourselves from Obamunism (or should that have been Juche Obamunism), they're all looking for a new angle.

[Roland]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

[...] I send my prayers your way.

Since when do communists pray?