[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

I do not believe in you. I believe in Jesus and the virtues of a Free Market System. From these we derive our Great Blessings here in the .

Handels, darling child! Achtung! The greatest gift available for human beings is the ability to read the instructions before taking on a task. My instructions clearly stated that I don't care about Faith - it's the Jesus guy who wants to save you from what he'll do to you if you don't have the faith. For me it is irrelevant. The genuine plastic replica of the US flag in eyeglass format will arrive in due course. Use them to read the instructions, will you? Of course you will. Ho!

Still, it would be remiss of me to pass up an opportunity to declare to the whole world where my true allegiance lies. Therefore, I will make a "wish" of what I want for Christmas.

I want the Mighty Truth about The Chosen One, our Dear Leader, President Donald J. Trump to come out and be hailed before the entire population of this planet.

There are those struggling against this Truth. They want to bury Donald's deeds beneath a pile of misdirections and obfuscations. This must not happen.

With the Grace of God and the Glory of Jesus by his side, I have confidence that things will work out for Trump. The Lord has made many promises to us in His Word, and The President has made many promises to us as well. God does not lie; therefore, neither does Donald Trump.

Of course. I'll distribute this classic piece of news into every chimney during my visits and I'll include a small note that it is your wish to have it delivered!



Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Santa. What trash are you going to try to stash in my home this time? Wasn’t pleased and I know Pa made you scurry off so quickly I didn’t even get to see you after you smashed our living room windows in.

Maxxie my Cupcake! Ho! As far as know - and I DO know, there's an astronomic amount of white trash stashed in your household at this very moment Here are some suitable containers that I'll be more than glad to deliver them come Christmas Day!



Ho, ho, ho!!!

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Dear Saint Nicholas,

The only one that needs presents is Christ's Bride (the Church). So, my wish for Christmas is that more kids comes, attending Church, and i will teach them how to propely worship the Lord (starting with kneeling down in front of the altar). However, if there is a gift for Christmas that i wouldn't mind to have, that would be Pope Francis's Sticker's Album.



I know that it may be out of sale, but i doubt that, since a soul can't get lost, an old album of stickers couldn't be in your bag. Also, tell your horned assistants to behave propely and avoid beating (badly) people who make them mad.


Sincerly, Father Romeo Rovagnati.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Maxxie my Cupcake! Ho! As far as know - and I DO know, there's an astronomic amount of white trash stashed in your household at this very moment Here are some suitable containers that I'll be more than glad to deliver them come Christmas Day!



Ho, ho, ho!!!

Those will be useful I admit....in order to get rid of all the Richard Gere detachable action figure heads you left behind last year. What made you think I have Bazooka-bob figures or whatever?

[handmaiden]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

[. . .] The genuine plastic replica of the US flag in eyeglass format will arrive in due course.

I like the glasses. They are even better than rose-colored lenses.

I'll distribute this classic piece of news into every chimney during my visits and I'll include a small note that it is your wish to have it delivered!

Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

I am not comfortable with the newspaper. It praises Trump, which is good. And, of course, I am sure that it is True News(tm). But it sends the wrong message about certain behavior that decent True Christian (tm) women don't discuss--ever.


There must be some other information about our Dear President that you can share with the world that he is too modest to tell us about. Just as we are told in John 21:25--


And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen


So it is, that Donald J. Trump's many mighty deeds should not be hidden, but exposed in the Light of Day for the glorification of Our Lord and Savior, who suffered much injustice as has our POTUS.


BTW. I would like some socks to match the glasses.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

... certain behavior that decent True Christian ™ women don't discuss--ever.

I absolutely agree with you, Sister. We never, ever discuss it! Not even in private, among close friends, or with our mothers or daughters. Why would any woman need to do such a thing?

I also agree about the socks. Obviously I have no need for the eyeglasses.

[Emily Brent]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Oooh Santa, it's me again. I don't want to be a greedy Emily, but I want you to bless me with child, a girl preferably. Wont you ride my sleigh tonight, and give Mrs Claus a run for money. Pardon me, a wee bit too much eggnob tonight.

[BibleReader2231]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Oooh Santa, it's me again. I don't want to be a greedy Emily, but I want you to bless me with child, a girl preferably. Wont you ride my sleigh tonight, and give Mrs Claus a run for money. Pardon me, a wee bit too much eggnob tonight.

Ma’am. If I may interject here. For someone who chooses to live with such obvious....umm...disabilities at your old age, may I recommend that you start collecting hummel figurines instead of believing you can conceive a child with an old morbidly obese sinner? I also have to note that you two aren’t even married so this isn’t the most ladylike manner. So close to Jesus’s birthday mind you.

[Isabella White]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Oooh Santa, it's me again. I don't want to be a greedy Emily, but I want you to bless me with child, a girl preferably. Wont you ride my sleigh tonight, and give Mrs Claus a run for money. Pardon me, a wee bit too much eggnob tonight.

Oh, my goodness, Miss Brent! Since you are a guest on , don't you think that your discourse should be centered around the topic of the glorious birth of our , , rather than flirting with a demon-possessed agent of who pedals his false message and pretends to be interested in the welfare of our children? Seeing as we are so close to mas, one would think that the importance of December 25th would be a suitable clue for you.

And, I do sincerely hope that that egg"nob" was not spiked with demonic rum!

Proverbs 20:1 "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise."

Ma’am. If I may interject here. For someone who chooses to live with such obvious....umm...disabilities at your old age, may I recommend that you start collecting hummel figurines instead of believing you can conceive a child with an old morbidly obese sinner? I also have to note that you two aren’t even married so this isn’t the most ladylike manner. So close to Jesus’s birthday mind you.

Oh, dear Sister Maxine: I do think you are right here, and I must commend you for taking such a stand; although, considering how Miss Brent is somewhat "tipsy" this evening, I do feel, most assuredly, that entrusting her with the care of delicate porcelain collectibles would be most unwise.

A blessed evening to both of you,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!



This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.

[Isabella White]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.

Oh, my goodness, dear Brother Lukes! I am shocked -- beyond belief! I was just reaching for my blessed for some devotional time (and also to bring many prayer needs before the ), and I can see that I will be dealing with this travesty, as well. Why, this photograph depicts nothing other than complete irreverence and blatant blasphemy!

This is all the work of those LIE-beral "Happy Holidays" people and it's just another attack as part of their War on mas. Oh, how we need to pray more than ever!

A blessed evening to you, Dear,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Emily Brent]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.

Is that the gingerbread-style ornamental porch most popular in the gay 90's? 1890's that is. Did the Queen Anne revival exist in Biblical Bethlehem? *hic*

[Isabella White]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Is that the gingerbread-style ornamental porch most popular in the gay 90's? 1890's that is. Did the Queen Anne revival exist in Biblical Bethlehem? *hic*

Oh, good grief, Miss Brent. Queen Anne revival?! I do so hope that you won't mind my saying this, but I think that the only revival that should be of interest to you would be the type that brings you closer to the . Besides, as you must know, surely, the is a republic, and not a monarchy! And, Dear, just a bit of gentle advice, if you don't mind terribly: this might be the time for you to put the cork in the bottle -- tonight, and forever.

A blessed evening to you, Miss Brent,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

Some basic rules remain. I don't deliver people. I don't deliver abstract concepts, such as love or eternal torment for someone who showed you a bikini ad without a trigger warning. I don't deliver body parts of endangered species including the rapidly decreasing populations of Baptists. Plastics are the most certain bid.

Oooh Santa, it's me again. I don't want to be a greedy Emily, but I want you to bless me with child, a girl preferably. Wont you ride my sleigh tonight, and give Mrs Claus a run for money. Pardon me, a wee bit too much eggnob tonight.

Nope. Learn to read. Her's a book for your caretaker.




Ho

[Santa Claus]

Re: Naughty or nice? Santa's Gift Registry 2019!

This is what atheists actually believe. I'm utterly gobsmacked and flabbergasted at the depth, width, and breadth of their heresy.

Dennis my Lil- Menace! So nice to see you! The Light Vitrail Swarovski crystal jewel butt plug, Glamour body jewelry is on its way in an inconspicuous envelope just as you requested it!

Indeed, the image is faulty. Despite popular beliefs, I am not twice as big as the average human, not even when considering the growth retardation of the ancient Palestinians due to their poor diets. Joseph my Joy-Boy did not wear green, it was totally unbecoming of him. He preferred shades of gray and brown. What was the artist thinking? And there was no snow on that day, although I am probably the person who's seen more snow in that region than anyone else due to my extreme longevity. I remember well the time when the Nile froze over in 829. That was a year. Anyways, Rudolf is also missing his nice red nose in that image. Indeed, it is of poor quality and I totally agree with you!

Ho ho ho!