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  • #46
    Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

    Santa, I have a gift request: can 2020 be the year NORAD finally wises up and uses a Stinger missile to knock a certain sleigh-flying communist out of the sky to his bloody DEATH and ETERNAL DAMNATION?
    I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
    Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
    But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
    From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!

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    • #47
      Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
      A 'Lane Bryant' Catalog.

      I'll be swinging by the feed store to get you some warfin cookies.
      Cookies! Ho ho ho but please don't misread 'warf' for 'warfarin' this time. Rudolf's internal bleeding the last time was so severe that we almost roasted him. Fortunately, he recovered and we stewed Nigel and Rover instead. Btw, does anyone fancy frozen cassowary? We do have a surplus due to recent debacles. Ho.
      Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!

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      • #48
        Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

        Originally posted by Me, explaining what I can and cannot do View Post
        Ho, please be reminded that I do not deliver people or abstract concepts ("love", "peace of mind", etc.).
        Originally posted by Dennis the Cute but Overly Enthusiastic Boy Failing to Read the Instructions View Post
        Santa, I have a gift request: can 2020 be the year NORAD finally wises up and uses a Stinger missile to knock a certain sleigh-flying communist out of the sky to his bloody DEATH and ETERNAL DAMNATION?
        Dennis Darling! Ho to you! "Wising up" is an abstraction and thus excluded from the list of potential gifts. Does it come in genuine plastic? It doesn't and that's why the Pope still lack all charisma and Slovenian top models still marry for money and not for love.

        That said, you do deserve some gifts based on what you need. You'll just love this oyster mushroom growing kit in rainbow colors. And if you continue to be nice in 2021, I just might deliver a Blue Oyster one next year! How awesome is that.



        And to supplement that fabulous gift, here's something in plastic! Tunnels to insert gerbils and hamsters.



        This will give you hours and hours on incomparable FUN! I'm on top of the world this year, aren't I! In fact, I'm there all the time (the North Pole, you know). Ho for now. See you soon!
        Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!!

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        • #49
          Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

          Originally posted by Santa Claus View Post
          Cookies! Ho ho ho but please don't misread 'warf' for 'warfarin' this time. Rudolf's internal bleeding the last time was so severe that we almost roasted him. Fortunately, he recovered and we stewed Nigel and Rover instead. Btw, does anyone fancy frozen cassowary? We do have a surplus due to recent debacles. Ho.




          No need for the winter whites this year.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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