X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #1

    Blackieclaus - Crizzmas

    Night Befo Crizzmus





    Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,


    everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.


    We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,


    dat dear Ol' Obama's, gunna brang us our checks.





    All of da family, was ly'in on the flow,


    my sister wif her gurlfriend, and my brother wif some hoe.


    Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all


    when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, it must be da law".





    I pulled the sheet off da windoe and what I'ze could see,


    I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.


    But what did I see, made me say, "Laaawd look at dat".


    dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by 8 big-ass rats.





    Now over all of da years, Santy Claws he be white,


    but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un' tonight.


    Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,


    and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.





    On Biden, On Jessie, On Polosi and Hillary Who


    On Fannie, On Freddi, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.


    Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,


    I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that Sh'eet!.





    Dat Santy didn't need no chimney, he picked da lock on my doe,


    an I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch...he don did dis befoe"!


    He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?


    Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun my neck.





    But he left me no presents, just started stealin my sheet.


    He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.


    Den, wif my crap in his bag, out da windoe he flew,


    I sho' woulda shanked him, be he snagged my knife too.





    He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,


    and waz gone in two seconds, "democrat son of a bitch".


    So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,


    'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a she'et!!!!


    sigpic

    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here
  • Osambo 08
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Sep 2008
    • 671

    #2
    Re: Blackieclaus - Crizzmas

    I had no trouble reading that.

    And the parable is so true, Mrs. BibleThumpinBlonde. There's no such thing as a benevolent darkie. We don't like to give, but we surely do like to receive.

    Comment

    • Nobar King
      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
      Christ's Guardian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2007
      • 23748

      #3
      Re: Blackieclaus - Crizzmas

      I prefer to call them 'closet communists'.
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78556

        #4
        Re: Blackieclaus - Crizzmas

        That was revolting. Doesn't anyone dream of a WHITE Christmas anymore?
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        Working...