Joos Trashing Malls with Lousy Holiday Songs

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Wonders never cease as the Holy Spirit descends on our great God Fearing nation in time for our annual celebration of the birth of the Baby Jesus. The LIEbral NPR host Garrison Keillor has denounced the musical contributions of the apostate Jesus denier joos to the Christmas season.

Nonbelievers, please leave Christmas alone
By Garrison Keillor
December 16, 2009

….
Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice and so they have no creed that they all stand up and recite in unison, and that's their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite "Silent Night." If you don't believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn "Silent Night" and leave ours alone. This is spiritual piracy and cultural elitism, and we Christians have stood for it long enough. And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write "Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we'll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah"? No, we didn't.

Christmas is a Christian holiday - if you're not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don't mess with the Messiah.
….

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bal-op.keillor16dec16,0,225627.story

Here is a partial list of trashy joo "Christmas" songs:

The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
Do They Know It's Christmas? (Feed the World)
Holly Jolly Christmas
I'll Be Home for Christmas
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Santa Baby
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Silver Bells
Sleigh Ride
There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays
White Christmas

http://www.interfaithfamily.com/arts_and_entertainment/movies_theater_tv_and_music/The_Jews_Who_Wrote_Christmas_Songs.shtml

[Free Market Fred]

Re: Joos Trashing Malls with Lousy Holiday Songs

About those holiday songs...

Our Consumer Research Unit has been working hard on ways to insert "subliminal advertising messages" into Christmas carols in order to increase sales of our products.

I'd like you to know that this is not easy when you don't have a visual. With a Christmas cartoon, for example, we can insert a microsecond subliminal flash of some made-in-China toys we sell, like Mattel grenade launchers, Tonka Tanks or Rambo flame throwers. The kids who watch these cartoons will then nag their parents to buy these things for them. We can do the same thing with movies. For example, in a recent rework of "It's a Wonderful Life," we inserted subliminal scenes from some of our adult videos and a toll-free phone number where you could order them - our sales skyrocketed!

But like I say, without a visual, it's harder. If you insert some words telling people to "buy Remington ammunition" it ruins the rhythm. We have found though, that we can use olfactory clues. For example, during the "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire" lyrics, we released a chemical odor inside Wal-Mart that really smelled like roasted chestnuts (though the FDA gave us a bad time since it was actually an addictive carcinogenic chemical) - the song was then followed by an announcement that roasted chestnuts were on sale on aisle 15 for $4.59 a pound. We did a similar subliminal sales push with the "burning Yuletide logs" followed by an announcement that Marlboros were on sale on aisle 5! Indeed, we've been marketing a special seasonal brand of Yuletide cigarettes and cigars with an exceedingly high nicotine content - these have proven to be a hot sales item this year, and when people start going into withdrawals after we pull them from the shelves on January 1, we'll replace them with our Easter bunny tobacco which will be even higher in nicotine. We can follow that up with patriotic "Stars & Stripes" cigs for Memorial Day and 4th of July.

Yes, I love Christmas. I really get into the holiday spirit.

Ho, ho, ho!
Brother Fred

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Joos Trashing Malls with Lousy Holiday Songs

This is my kind of Christmas song! I play it all day long, every day during the month of December!