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  • #31
    Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

    You blasphemer!
    Any children from your asexual loins cannot be angels. Humans cannot be angels. 1 Corinthians 4:9

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    • #32
      Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

      Originally posted by IreneS View Post
      You blasphemer!
      Any children from your asexual loins cannot be angels. Humans cannot be angels. 1 Corinthians 4:9
      Well at least with my loins you get strength, smarts, and good looks.

      Comment

      • #33
        Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

        I put Chick Tracts and individually wrapped bullets of various calibers in all 40 something stockings.
        After breakfast, we have a bullet swap where all the kids trade the bullets they got with the other kids to get the ones that fit their guns.
        Then they get on the flat bed and we go for a ride. The kids shoot out all the blasphemous inflatable 'Santa's and Snowmen' in peoples yards from the truck as we pass by at 30 mph.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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        • #34
          Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

          My grandchildren have asked for improving t-shirts this year, bless them! Isn't this a pretty design?



          And my youngest son, who is teaching Theogeography, will be giving this to each child in his class.

          2 Timothy 3:16

          All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


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          • #35
            Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

            Our congregation has been feeling somewhat nostalgic for the good old days of late and we have all decided to give the youth bows and arrows.

            The area has become infested with cats and cats are known to serve as familiars for witches and other satanic incarnations. We feel that an ongoing hunt will rid the place of possibly evil creatures and make the area safe from cat dung, which is quite smelly if you step on it and track it in the house. Also, our youth will develop new skills which may become handy if ammunition continues to be made scarce by the Democrats.
            God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

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            • #36
              Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

              Last year, I gave my nephews a 'My First Rifle' from crickett.com
              My 3 year old niece is extremely jealous. What do you think about this for her?

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              • #37
                Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

                I think your niece should be forced encouraged to play with gender appropriate toys. Would you allow a boy to play with a doll?

                Her desire for a male appropriate toy could be a sign that demons are nesting in her little rectum.
                sigpic

                I Kings 7:23

                And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

                New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

                Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

                Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

                Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

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                • #38
                  Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

                  Dr Snyde, I tend to agree, which is why I asked for opinions. I shall instead get her a diaper washing kit, so she can learn about her little brother's rectum and the filth of all that embodies.

                  Comment

                  • #39
                    Re: what to place in your child's stockings this year!!!

                    Originally posted by IreneS View Post
                    Dr Snyde, I tend to agree, which is why I asked for opinions. I shall instead get her a diaper washing kit, so she can learn about her little brother's rectum and the filth of all that embodies.
                    That's an excellent idea...this will give her some experience for when she's pushing forth little soldiers of her own for Christ.
                    sigpic

                    I Kings 7:23

                    And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

                    New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

                    Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

                    Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

                    Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

                    Comment

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