[~Butterfly_Wings~]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

I don't celebrate christmas. The solstice was wonderful, though, and my heart still celebrates. Not so much gift giving though. My mother gave me a Bible, a nice one bound in artificial dead cow skin, because sweet as she is, she still hasn't given up on my soul. We drank an excellent homemade wassail, care of my friend Frieda, that was gingery and delightful. And the Yule log burned bright. All in all, a lovely holiday season it is.

You're Wiccan? Same here. My parents and I spent the day riding horses together.

I got a DVD player and a leather jacket and super skinny Jeans!

Oh my gosh, I love skinny jeans!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

Brother, did you forget about the present I gave you? I know it didn't cost me anything, but I thought it was a great present nevertheless.

I got this lovely ring from my employer, Brother James. Isn't it lovely?

I could swear James said he was going to give you a pearl necklace.

Looks like the jeweler talked him out of it!

[James Dewitt]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

Brother, did you forget about the present I gave you? I know it didn't cost me anything, but I thought it was a great present nevertheless.

I got this lovely ring from my employer, Brother James. Isn't it lovely?

No Sister I did not forget, that was a gift from your Heart, and I will always cherish it. If the other knew of the gift, well lets just keep it between you and I.

[Bible Student]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

We had a typically modest holiday. In keeping with a humble home, each child got a single present. The girls each got pie pans, the boys of driving age got new cars, the young ones got new dirt bikes. Mrs. Hutchins got a new buckt for pig slopping. I had to get my own present. I got an second hand Ford, a beater really, a fixer upper.

I'm almost envious of you and your new Ford. In the coming year you are going to have hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours of fun getting it ready to drive down the block.

The gifts you got for your children shows you take great pride in picking out the perfect, individualized present. I know they are going to enjoy them.

[Bible Student]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

What does an artificial cow look like?

Some things you really don't want to know. I recommend closing your eyes while you look at this. It just shows how depraved the jennabenna coven really is.

[Nobar King]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

I got exactly what I wanted: another KJV Bible for my collection. They're starting to pile up, now, but I'd rather have them than a bunch of books with silly stories and nonsense that I don't understand.

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

My father was so proud that I was made a True Christian™ this year and therefore he gave me some tools to help me supervise the nigra servants on our farm.







I was so happy when I got these. Correcting nigras the way our Lord intendend it:

Proverbs 29:19
A servant will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer

can be really hard work. I am sure these wonderful tools will prevent sore muscles and knuckles in the future. I am especially glad for the stun gun since some of the young nigras are bold enough to fight back when I correct them.

Praise Jesus! I really hit the jackpot this year!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

Faux leather, Brother Saltine.

So no actual dead cows were involved. So why did you bring dead cows into the conversation, then? I understand that you're probably a disgusting pervert who enjoys nothing more than rubbing your ladyparts with a strip of jerky while trying to suckle a calf at your vile, barren teats in a sick mockery of Mary breastfeeding Our Lord, but this is a Christian forum and I really don't think such subjects are suitable for discussion here.

Oh, and to go to the Lincoln Gay Pride festival. Not as fun as the californian ones, but it has some hometown value for me. And the children's area was great this year. My old middle school art teacher was watching over it, and there were these really great bead necklaces for prizes on the games. I was kind of jealous of the eight year olds there.

THEY'RE TURNING EIGHT-YEAR-OLDS QUEER? WHAT? Did they have special eight-year-old bath houses and restroom stalls, or did the kids just have to join in with the adults?

I didn't get that much for Christmas, but I think it is better to give than to receive. In my case, I sent individualised cards to my Jew mother, father, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents and cousins with a beautiful picture of the Sweet Baby Jesus on the front and text simply reading "WHY DID YOU KILL ME? " inside. I think they got the message.

[jennabenna]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

So no actual dead cows were involved. So why did you bring dead cows into the conversation, then? I understand that you're probably a disgusting pervert who enjoys nothing more than rubbing your ladyparts with a strip of jerky while trying to suckle a calf at your vile, barren teats in a sick mockery of Mary breastfeeding Our Lord, but this is a Christian forum and I really don't think such subjects are suitable for discussion here.

THEY'RE TURNING EIGHT-YEAR-OLDS QUEER? WHAT? Did they have special eight-year-old bath houses and restroom stalls, or did the kids just have to join in with the adults?

I didn't get that much for Christmas, but I think it is better to give than to receive. In my case, I sent individualised cards to my Jew mother, father, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents and cousins with a beautiful picture of the Sweet Baby Jesus on the front and text simply reading "WHY DID YOU KILL ME? " inside. I think they got the message.

As much as I'm sure you love thinking about women masturbating with jerky, that's not how it works. I don't want to have sex with a cow any more that it does with me.
As for Pride, well, there are a lot of gay couples with adopted children in Lincoln. It was better for them to have a game area stocked with water and fruit snacks to play at then it was to have them running about and messing up the "Miss Gay Lincoln" pageant and passing out from the heat. It was 102 degrees farenheit when we left.

[Adilene]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

I got this for Christmas ... Also a new bible!

[Felicity]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

@Adilene What a nice ring!

[Adilene]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

@Adilene What a nice ring!

Thanks! I wonder what I am going to do when I have more kids, one more ring? lol

[James Hutchins]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

Thanks! I wonder what I am going to do when I have more kids, one more ring? lol

My wife has a pair of suspenders and she embroiders the names of each child on it. The ones that dies, she paints over with a magic marker. Very handy for me as I can tell the names of the littlest ones by looking at the newest name in the list.
Rings will work up to a point. You will probably end up wearing them all on a chain hanging from your neck. By the time you are fifty, it will get pretty heavy. I hope you have the back for it.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

As much as I'm sure you love thinking about women masturbating with jerky, that's not how it works. I don't want to have sex with a cow any more that it does with me.

So you and your girlfriend are losing your lustful cravings for one another. Perhaps you're finally getting over your Lesbian phase!

I got this for Christmas ... Also a new bible!

"Abagial"?

At least the jeweler got "Michael" right.

[jennabenna]

Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas?

How dare you call my wife a cow! She's better than any woman you're ever going to get, and women love gay guys!