Gift ideas for the liberals in your life

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Gift ideas for the liberals in your life

Liberals need to be reminded that Jesus loves them. A large pine cross for their yard when help them feel the warmth of the Good Lord's unconditional love. Since Liberals are notoriously lazy I recommended you putting the cross up yourself.

Do it at night to surprise them!

Don't forget to add lights for that festive holiday touch.

No convenient outlets? A little gasoline or kerosene will light that cross up for hours.

Your neighbors will bask in the glow of their front-yard cross all night, and the Word of the Lord will be shared on local newspaper front pages for days!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Gift ideas for the liberals in your life

Liberals need to be reminded that Jesus loves them. A large pine cross for their yard when help them feel the warmth of the Good Lord's unconditional love. Since Liberals are notoriously lazy I recommended you putting the cross up yourself.

Do it at night to surprise them!

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Gift ideas for the liberals in your life

Mail him a big, long box in plain wrapping. From a very non-descriptive address. Make it big enough and long enough and they'll faint right there, so you won't need to put anything in it.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Idea number one: A Nelson Mandella Necklace.



Why this is appropriate:

Necklacing is the practice of summary execution and torture carried out by forcing a rubber tyre, filled with petrol, around a victim's chest and arms, and setting it on fire. The victim may take up to 20 minutes to die, suffering severe burns in the process....

The practice became a common method of lethal lynching during disturbances in South Africa in the 1980s and 1990s. The first recorded instance took place in Uitenhage on 23 March 1985 when African National Congress (ANC) supporters killed a councillor who was accused of being a collaborator.[1]

Necklacing "sentences" were sometimes handed down against alleged criminals by "people's courts" established in black townships as a means of enforcing their own judicial system. Necklacing was also used to punish members of the black community who were perceived as collaborators with the government. These included black policemen, town councillors and others, as well as their relatives and associates. The practice was often carried out in the name of the ANC, and Winnie Mandela, then-wife of the imprisoned Nelson Mandela and a senior member of the ANC, even made statements that blatantly endorsed its use...