[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Okay, Christmas is over, so I'm closing this thread until next year (or until Jesus commands it). Things are getting too juvenile with all the hateful atheists milling around in here...

[Didymus Much]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

So you fondled with your "things" and received physical ailment? Ok, but that's pretty dirty.

Psychological projection (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection)

Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person subconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other people. Thus, projection involves imagining or projecting the belief that others originate those feelings.[1]

Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted unconscious impulses or desires without letting the conscious mind recognize them...

Instead of trying to force humour out of your own obvious misunderstanding of the situation (and the most likely outcome of that is merely facepalming, and/or pity for your family and friends who have to tolerate you in real life), why not actually read the Bible and learn what it really says? Mocking people's beliefs is not only a lot easier when you have a clue what they are, it's also much more effective (because then they cannot dismiss you as merely the braindead twat you've shown yourself to be on this forum).

[Ignorant Buttmunch]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Dear Ignorant Doofus:

As I was reading these posts from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I put my hand on my computer screen and received a healing of a physical ailment. Is that enough proof for you?

So you fondled with your "things" and received physical ailment? Ok, but that's pretty dirty.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Dear Ignorant Doofus:

As I was reading these posts from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I put my hand on my computer screen and received a healing of a physical ailment. Is that enough proof for you?

[Didymus Much]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

And you can't get to Heaven if your stones are missing. ...

I'm guessing that you're referring to Deuteronomy 23:1? It says, "shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.", not "shall not enter Heaven".

Logic isn't your strong point, is it?

...If I were to remove my testicles how should I do it? Just use scissors?

Ask here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=85990

[Ignorant Buttmunch]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

I'm not the one trying to keep Satan at bay, idiot.

And you can't get to Heaven if your stones are missing.

If I were to remove my testicles how should I do it? Just use scissors?

[Didymus Much]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Could I try it on you?

I'm not the one trying to keep Satan at bay, idiot.

[Ignorant Buttmunch]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Here's one way:

Matthew 19:12 "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

Why don't you try it? Nothing else seems to be working.

Could I try it on you?

[Didymus Much]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

I'm trying to keep Satan at bay...

Here's one way:

Matthew 19:12 "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

Why don't you try it? Nothing else seems to be working.

[Ignorant Buttmunch]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Why would a demon like you be haunting this Godly forum on His birthday?

Get thee hence!

I'm trying to keep Satan at bay, but demonic "pastors" are trying to prevent it.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Why would Jesus need to prove Himself?

He doesn't. It is by divine courtesy that He communicates with us now. Please do pay proper respect to the very Son of God. Eventually, even your knee shall bow before Him. Why not do so now?

Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:
That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;
And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:9-11

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Why would Jesus need to prove Himself?

Why would a demon like you be haunting this Godly forum on His birthday?

Get thee hence!

[Ignorant Buttmunch]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

I already gave the proof a couple of days ago. You want I should give you more proof now?

All I am asking is that you believe in me without ever seeing me. That is all I have been asking for the past two thousand years now. You have no problem believing in me when your parents or your preacher tell you I am real. How is it that you don't believe now that I am in front of you?

Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

Why would Jesus need to prove Himself?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Prove that he isn't Satan or STFU.
Oh no I think we have a circular argument.

If I made an account called "God" would I be God?

If you made an account called "God", it would be labeled unsaved trash, which would prove you were just a filthy liar. If your ip address traced back to Heaven, then that would be interesting. But it doesn't, does it.

[Jesus]

Re: Don't Forget My Birthday

Prove that he isn't Satan

I already gave the proof a couple of days ago. You want I should give you more proof now?

All I am asking is that you believe in me without ever seeing me. That is all I have been asking for the past two thousand years now. You have no problem believing in me when your parents or your preacher tell you I am real. How is it that you don't believe now that I am in front of you?

Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.