[neko-lear]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Poetic Peter, I like your suggestions.

I may have missed it, but I don't think I saw BB or pellet guns, or any firearms for that matter. thought that would have been on the list somewhere.

my personal suggestion is a thick drawing pad and a pencil, let them keep themselves entertained and out of your way for a while.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Or a PS2! Those are hella fun!

If you get Saved today, you can get a Playstation 3 for FREE! Act now!!

[hellion]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Mumbletypeg.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mumbletypeg

A fine action game for children.

Toys?

All a child needs is a decent pocketknife and a bar of P&G Laundry bar soap.
Put the bar of soap in a gallon sized glass pickle jar with a wet rag
for a day or two to soften the soap.
A bar of soap is a gift to gladden any child.
A good penknife. Let the child whittle out its preferred toy.
"See your toy inside the soap?"

Alternatively, a piece of rope
and instruction on the pastime of knot making and noosing

snares for varmints and little sisters.


Intellectual stimulation? A painting set.
Paint by numbers.
Four inch bristle brushes. Gallon cans of paint (quarts for under-tens). Magic Marker. Mark picket fence, say "1" , and mark "1" on the can of white paint. Mark the concrete garage floor "2"
and likewise, "2" on the can of gray floor paint.
Paint by numbers fun for days.


There must be other good toys and games for Christmas.
Please add your favorites.

Or a PS2! Those are hella fun!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

THIS is a wonderful gift for the ladies in your life. While it may look like a finely-crafted American six-shooter, it is actually one of those hot air hair blowers.

Surely most women are perfectly capable of spewing hot air on their own, without mechanical assistance?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

THIS is a wonderful gift for the ladies in your life. While it may look like a finely-crafted American six-shooter, it is actually one of those hot air hair blowers.

This kind of gift will give the females in your life excellent experience at handling a weapon. And just to keep them on their toes Daddy can always play "switcheroo" once in awhile. As a gag.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

I gotta tell you, Sister Thumper brings the BEST toys to the Pastor's Christmas parties.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

THIS jewess doll might make a good gift for females. She gives something like Christian advice, despite being a Christ-killing yid.

Below are only a few of the 23 different phrases that the highly anticipated Dr. Laura action figure says when you press her button.
Batteries Included

Sample Phrases:
"...Proud mother of an American soldier..."
"Now go do the right thing"
"Is this the hill you want to die on?"
"I wish I was a Saved© Christian instead of jew scum."

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Here is an excellent and stimulating board game for concerned families. "The Christian Game-Which Way?" will keep your children enthralled for a lifetime.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Sleepwithme Jesus

This delightful and lifelike Jesus doll is called Sleepwithme Jesus. He's lifesized and has real seeping wounds. Sleepwithme Jesus is a much safer slumber party pal for our children as a parent doesn't have to worry about homer activities, the M activity, drugs etc...

I can hardly wait until my grandson is old enough for me to buy him one of those. Every time he snuggles up to Jesus, he'll be reminded that Almighty God temporarily sacrificed Himself to Himself to satisfy a rule that He Himself had written, all for our sins.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Here is a Great Game!

GLORY!

[SUV]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Why, I just don't know how I'll possibly be able to restrain myself if I see one of you Brothers or Pastors in that "Behemouth" tie!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

My apologies for using the unspeakable P-word here. I was merely trying to be as scientifically correct. I did not think to preserve the minds of the innocent and easily-led-astray women here! My sincerest apologies, and may Jesus forgive me! Perhaps a pastor would see fit to change it, if necessary?

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Brother T, I don't believe I know the personage you mentioned.
"Hatchet"?
Is he....

a dis member ?



_______________

Back to shopping because
I sure don't want to match my single blade mumblingtypegging skills
against Brother Al's triplewit threat, nosirs!



Not quite games and toys, but very good stuffers.

http://shopping.drdino.com/shopping.php

Gadwin freeware screenshot:




______________________



"Discounted Items"


Point: what an utterly unChristian thing to say about
these fine tools supporting Creation Science.


It's as if they're cahooting with evilelutionists.

[Talitha]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Lilith's a lady? Since when?

Since.......You know...........nudge nudge.

The Operation

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Good Toys and Games!

Well, I must warn you, the Ladies of Landover (even Lilith) are getting together today to have our hair bleached as blonde as Jesus.

Lilith's a lady? Since when?

Personally, I've always felt a strong affection for the traditional gifts. Giving a child a rock is a great way to encourage it to practice stoning from a young age, but rocks also have all kinds of other uses - you can encourage them to swap rocks with their friends, until they have enough to build a complete, Biblically accurate, scale model of Noah's Ark out of them. And if they get out of line during the rest of the year, you can always threaten them with the possibility that next Christmas, they might just get a lump of coal instead - that always shuts them up.

By the way, Peter, have you had the good fortune to encounter Old Man Hatchet yet? He seems like the sort of fellow you'd get along with.