[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I wasn't bestowed the honor of being added to the department's wall of fame for the most traffic citations issued in one shift by sitting around at home.

Impressive Brother Officer Sir. I'll bet that will impress the ladies.

[VictoryOS]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I wasn't bestowed the honor of being added to the department's wall of fame for the most traffic citations issued in one shift by sitting around at home.

Protecting the public is such a manly job. You must work up quite an appetite by the end of your shifts! You need a woman who is able to whip up a meal fit for a king (which is exactly what you are).

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Protecting the public is such a manly job. You must work up quite an appetite by the end of your shifts! You need a woman who is able to whip up a meal fit for a king (which is exactly what you are).

Now Victory, do you have a crush on Officer Don? You must be impressed with his night stick!

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazars

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Now, now ladies, just remember; for those special nights alone, when you are about to do the Lord’s bidding as stated in holy scripture,
please remember to keep the key to the chastity belt very close by and easily accessible. You know how we men folk hate to fidget with complicated contraptions when we’re all hot and bothered and about ready to become fruitful with you. I suggest that when you little Christian angels are laying there on the king’s size mattress in the proper missionary position, with your arms clasped along your person, and your eyes closed tight, make sure that the chastity belt key is sitting there exposed on top of the night stand located on the right side of the bed, with a great big stapler attached to it for easy viewing.

If you're one of those ladies that’s always losing keys, you can always use a combination lock.





The Honorable Brother Jessup T. Lloyd, Esq. has spoken to the women folk…….Amen!

You can't expect a woman to keep the keys to her own chastity belt!
The Godly Husband has the keys to mine when he's at work or out homo hunting. It would take the crafty Italian ways of a young muscular criminal like my pool man Guido to jimmy the lock and put it back without suspicion.

[James Hutchins]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I am always loosing my keys. So to prevent that from being a problem, I have given a copy to each of the Church Elders. My wife agrees, it is a very good idea.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I am always loosing my keys. So to prevent that from being a problem, I have given a copy to each of the Church Elders. My wife agrees, it is a very good idea.

How do you loose a key?

[James Hutchins]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Often, when I have been trying to feel up'save' strippers heathens at the local gentleman's Christan strip Bible study club, my keys have fallen the the floor during fits of drunken stupor while pulling singles from my pockets blissful Praise.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Protecting the public is such a manly job. You must work up quite an appetite by the end of your shifts! You need a woman who is able to whip up a meal fit for a king (which is exactly what you are).

Yes, the stress of fighting crime in the streets does take its toll. I'm fortunate that I am as strong as I am. Lesser men would run away in tears if they had to face what I do on a day to day basis.

By the end of the day I am always ready for a hot meal, so I swing by the burger joint, and then Dunkin' Donuts to talk about the events of the day with my buddies.

[VictoryOS]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Yes, the stress of fighting crime in the streets does take its toll. I'm fortunate that I am as strong as I am. Lesser men would run away in tears if they had to face what I do on a day to day basis.

By the end of the day I am always ready for a hot meal, so I swing by the burger joint, and then Dunkin' Donuts to talk about the events of the day with my buddies.

Being a hero to the townspeople must really take its toll. It's hard to believe there isn't a Mrs. Ofc. Richards.

What is your favorite place to get a burger? Most fast food restaurants make their burgers so tiny, one just isn't enough. I usually order at least two. Don't tell my doctor!

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Being a hero to the townspeople must really take its toll. It's hard to believe there isn't a Mrs. Ofc. Richards.

What is your favorite place to get a burger? Most fast food restaurants make their burgers so tiny, one just isn't enough. I usually order at least two. Don't tell my doctor!

I like McDonald's myself. I have a special where they stack four beef patties on one sandwich with three slices of cheese and six bacon strips. Two or three of those will hold me for the evening, and maybe a side of fries or two. Of course the adrenaline I experience during my duties burns off a lot of any minor traces of fat I take in.

I really have a lot of muscle here, I have to in order to keep the peace.

You say you're single, Sister Victory?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I like McDonald's myself. I have a special where they stack four beef patties on one sandwich with three slices of cheese and six bacon strips. Two or three of those will hold me for the evening, and maybe a side of fries or two. Of course the adrenaline I experience during my duties burns off a lot of any minor traces of fat I take in.

I really have a lot of muscle here, I have to in order to keep the peace.

You say you're single, Sister Victory?

Oooooweeee, I feel a LVE connection coming on!!



Let me know if we need to set up a chaperone for you two.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Oooooweeee, I feel a LVE connection coming on!!



Let me know if we need to set up a chaperone for you two.

Zoo-keeping seems like a Chaperone qualification for these two... that and dietician.

I remind you both of the seven deadly sins and how gluttony always leads to lust and avarice.

Instead of directing the void of your useless lives to the pursuit of worldly excess I implore you both to visit a local Catholic Church and seek out the wisdom and guidance of a proper man of God and not the word of some haystack hillbilly harlot who has yet to figure out that Pastor Zeke has seen far more free milk than cow purchase receipts if you know what I mean.


Bless you, My myocardial miss-haps in Michigan
Father Mo



.




.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I remind you both of the seven deadly sins and how gluttony always leads to lust and avarice.

I am an Officer of the Law, I have nothing but duty and justice on my mind 24/7. I have had intense training to be in control of my mind and body.

Instead of directing the void of your useless lives to the pursuit of worldly excess I implore you both to visit a local Catholic Church and seek out the wisdom and guidance of a proper man of God and not the word of some haystack hillbilly harlot who has yet to figure out that Pastor Zeke has seen far more free milk than cow purchase receipts if you know what I mean.

Okay sir, that's enough from you. The only business I have at a Catholic church is to slap the cuffs on the next pedo-perv that gets reported by a sobbing altar boy.

Now move along, nothing more for you to see here.

[JennyD]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I wasn't bestowed the honor of being added to the department's wall of fame for the most traffic citations issued in one shift by sitting around at home.

That IS impressive!

Why, I remember that day, when the service ran 20 minutes overtime and by the time we got out, there you were with your Meter Man cart, just finishing ticketing 350 cars!

[VictoryOS]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I like McDonald's myself. I have a special where they stack four beef patties on one sandwich with three slices of cheese and six bacon strips. Two or three of those will hold me for the evening, and maybe a side of fries or two. Of course the adrenaline I experience during my duties burns off a lot of any minor traces of fat I take in.

I really have a lot of muscle here, I have to in order to keep the peace.

Just a healthy, manly, Christian appetite you have! Chasing crooks and criminals through the yards of sleeping law-abiding citizens must take an awful lot of energy! It must be a lot of fun going to buffets with you. Not to brag, but I have the layouts at Ryan's memorized.

You say you're single, Sister Victory?

Well yes, I do happen to be single at the moment.