What is a vajayjay?

[WWJDnow]

Good ladies of Landover, I am sorry to invade your ladies only forum, but a question has been niggling me, and I think perhaps you might be able to resolve it. I was stricken with a pestilence last week, and, while perusing the daytime television offerings on Comcast, I came across a show called the View, in which a bunch of liberal women--including two Jewesses, one of whom is also a negress, if you can believe that--take potshots against men and Republican women. I kept watching only to see where this trainwreck would end. As I watched, all of the women, including the white and black Jewesses, started talking about their vajayjays (vajayjaies?). One of them said that her vajayjay was hairy, which elicited a nervous laughter from the audience; the other vajayjays were apparently bald. Well, I'd never heard this word "vajayjay" before, and none of the women on the View (in the case of Joy Behar, I'm using the word "woman" loosely) put their vajayjays on display during the show. So, I'm stumped.

Vajayjay sounds like a kind of bird, but I Googled "vajayjay bird" and didn't find anything useful, except for one page that said that birds have cloaca and not vajayjays. It also sounds vaguely Indian (Hari Krishna and steal American jobs Indian, not smoke the peace pipe and scalp the settlers Indian). I Googled "vajayjay Indian," but this pulled up some rather unsavory images, so I closed my browser immediately. The View cast all claimed to enjoy having their vajayjays eaten, so my working hypothesis is that it is some kind of tropical fruit. But Googling "vajayjay fruit" brings up photographs of women performing unnatural acts with bananas and pictures of sodomites engaging in various sodomies contrary to the laws of God, none of which I can describe in a Christian forum.

I feel like I'm stuck in a deep, dark pit of ignorance with no way to get back out. Would you fine ladies please shine a light on the vajayjay?

[Isabella White]

One wonders if you may have misheard the dialogue slightly, dear Brother WWJD. I have a sneaking suspicion that since The View is a LIE-beral show and designed to make fun of our beloved President Trump and all patriots, what those "ladies" (I am being kind here) were referring to is a VEGetarian dessert that they like to serve to their bean-sprout-eating friends. Instead of giving out a recipe for an old favorite — such as apple pie — they are promoting whatever the latest trend is in FAKE FOOD desserts, and most likely they have given it a trendy nickname. "Oh, I have worked all afternoon on my VEG-jayjay for my husband to enjoy."

And, after doing a quick browse on the interwebs, I have found one of those VEGetarian recipes. I won't bother posting such rubbish, as it contains FAKE FOOD ingredients, such as xantham gum (whatever that is), gluten-free flour (whatever that is), non-dairy FAKE MILK (whatever that is) and who knows what else. As for the hairy bit, well, it's just likely that they sprinkled some grated carob (FAKE CHOCOLATE) over the unappealing mess. Honestly, I cannot — in all sincerity — imagine anybody wanting to eat Joy Behar's VEG-jayjay.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Vajayjay sounds like a kind of bird, but I Googled "vajayjay bird" and didn't find anything useful, except for one page that said that birds have cloaca and not vajayjays. It also sounds vaguely Indian (Hari Krishna and steal American jobs Indian, not smoke the peace pipe and scalp the settlers Indian). I Googled "vajayjay Indian," but this pulled up some rather unsavory images, so I closed my browser immediately.

Thank you, Brother Dnow, for alerting the women of Landover to the vile information being discussed on The View. I'm always suspicious of eating something that is hard to pronounce. If the Vajayjay is some kind of bird that is not a chicken we should all reject it.

[Mary Etheldreda]

I thought that's what MTV called their on-air personality people who reported so-called "Music News." But that was back when MTV actually played Music on the TeleVision.

[Phil Ander]

One of them said that her vajayjay was hairy, which elicited a nervous laughter from the audience; the other vajayjays were apparently bald. Well, I'd never heard this word "vajayjay" before, and none of the women on the View (in the case of Joy Behar, I'm using the word "woman" loosely) put their vajayjays on display during the show. So, I'm stumped.

Vajayjay sounds like a kind of bird, but I Googled "vajayjay bird" and didn't find anything useful, except for one page that said that birds have cloaca and not vajayjays. It also sounds vaguely Indian (Hari Krishna and steal American jobs Indian, not smoke the peace pipe and scalp the settlers Indian). I Googled "vajayjay Indian," but this pulled up some rather unsavory images, so I closed my browser immediately. The View cast all claimed to enjoy having their vajayjays eaten, so my working hypothesis is that it is some kind of tropical fruit.

It's a new word to me, but looking at some clues in your post I wonder about coconuts. Coconuts can be hairy or bald, taste good, tropical, and Indian. So maybe thats a direction to go down.

Phil

[Cranky Old Man]

I looked "vajayjay" up on a Christian search engine which returned "Search results for: vajayjay No results found".

So there you have it. It's nonsense. Ignore it.

James 1:12 "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him."

[WWJDnow]

... looking at some clues in your post I wonder about coconuts. Coconuts can be hairy or bald, taste good, tropical, and Indian. So maybe that's a direction to go down.

Isn't "coconut" a crude colloquialism for the female bosom? I hadn't thought to go in that direction, but I wouldn't put talking about their (rather limited) endowment for motherhood past those whores of Babylon on the View.

I looked "vajayjay" up on a Christian search engine which returned "Search results for: vajayjay No results found".

So there you have it. It's nonsense. Ignore it.

This seems to be excellent advice. I've spent my entire life without getting anywhere near a vajayjay, and I don't plan to start now.

[Basilissa]

And, after doing a quick browse on the interwebs, I have found one of those VEGetarian recipes. I won't bother posting such rubbish, as it contains FAKE FOOD ingredients, such as xantham gum (whatever that is), gluten-free flour (whatever that is), non-dairy FAKE MILK (whatever that is) and who knows what else. As for the hairy bit, well, it's just likely that they sprinkled some grated carob (FAKE CHOCOLATE) over the unappealing mess.

Those are indeed fake foods. Real foods are easy to spot - they include E200-E299, artificial flavors, and lots and lots of sugar!

[Isabella White]

Those are indeed fake foods. Real foods are easy to spot - they include E200-E299, artificial flavors, and lots and lots of sugar!

Amen, dear Sister Basilissa! One can spot fake foods ten miles away. And, who on Earth wants to eat a VEG-jayyay bean sprout salad when one can enjoy the treats in the following photo? If didn't want us to enjoy sugar so much, then He wouldn't have created it in the first place — and that's all there is to it!

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Vajrayana is a sect of Buddhism according to the search engine. Here is what I've found:

Vajrayana is a form of Mahayana Buddhism that originated in northern India around the 5th century CE, took root in Tibet in the 7th and 8th centuries, and then spread across the Himalayan region. It is widely known as Tibetan Buddhism though tantric Buddhism is also found in Japan, in the Shingon and Tendai traditions. Vajrayana takes its name from vajra, Sanskrit for “diamond” or “thunderbolt,” suggesting the power of its methods.

Although Vajrayana shares with the Mahayana schools generally the view that we are already perfected and can awaken in a single lifetime, Vajrayana considers itself the fastest way to enlightenment. Its canon consists of texts known as the Kangyur (sutras and tantras considered to be the words of the Buddha) and the Tengyur (commentaries).

Vajrayana, like Mahayana, makes no distinction between samsara and nirvana: passions and aversions alike are embraced as skillful means to awakening. Though Vajrayana upholds the Mahayana bodhisattva ideal, its pantheon of celestial beings is more extensive, including a wealth of fierce protector deities and dakinis (female deities). Deity yoga—whereby a student takes on the identity of a chosen deity who represents enlightened qualities—is a central practice, guided by the guru, or lama, the master who initiates the student into esoteric practices. Ritual is key, including repetition of mantras (sacred syllables and verses), visualization of mandalas (sacred diagrams), sacred hand gestures (mudras), and prostrations. Ngondro, preliminaries, are prerequisites for higher tantric practices. The highest practices involve the symbolic union of the feminine (wisdom) and masculine (compassion) principles. Tantric practices are largely kept secret, to preserve the sanctity of the teachings and protect practitioners from energies they have not yet been trained to handle.

Of the four main schools of Tibetan Buddhism, the oldest is the Nyingma, whose founder is held to be the 8th-century Indian master Padmasambhava, also known as Guru Rinpoche. Revered as the second Buddha, he is said to have hidden treasure texts (termas) to be discovered later both physically and in the mindstreams of tertons, or sacred masters. The Sakya school, headed by the Sakya Trizin (a hereditary title) is closely associated with the Hevajra-tantra, a text on nondualism, symbolized by the sacred union of the deity Hevajra and his consort. The Kagyu school traces its origins and practices to the Indian yogi Tilopa, the master Naropa, the translator Marpa, and his disciple Milarepa, Tibet’s poet-saint. The Kagyu school introduced the tulku system, the practice of recognizing reincarnations of great masters, thus continuing their lineages. The Gelug, the newest of the major Vajrayana schools, is a monastic sect incorporating elements of earlier schools; its most notable leader is the Dalai Lama.

In few words, it contains various superstitions, including the Dalai Llama. Would not reccomend.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

The trouble with all these India things is that they have stupid names for their prophets and other details (Nyingma, Padmasambhava, termas, Hevajra-tantra, etc.). There's no wonder that these so-called religions are holding the people back. I sometimes think that this was part of God's Plan so they get punished and we Christians can have cheap things.