URGENT NOTICE TO ALL ADULT WOMEN IN THE FREEHOLD AREA!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

To all adult women living in the municipality and surrounding vicinity of Freehold, Iowa...
If you are not currently a fully paid up member of the Ladies of Landover by 5pm, Friday November 20, your name will be entered on a list of suspected feminazis working in the area to subvert the traditional family!
Please note that only tithing members of the congregation of Landover Baptist Church will be allowed to attend meetings (except for outreach prayer breakfasts held to witness to and save members of household staffs) and submit or vote on motions.
Membership forms may be picked up at our downtown office between 9am and 5pm every day except Sunday, and they will be available in the church lobby this coming Sunday for you to take home after services.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: URGENT NOTICE TO ALL ADULT WOMEN IN THE FREEHOLD AREA!

Thank you for you hard work Sister Mary Maria. After Fort Hood we good Americans (Christian, Republic, Baptists) can't be to careful. As terrifying as it sounds there maybe a Islamo-fascists FemNazi cell right in here in Freehold just biding its time to launch its attack.

Reverend Jim has requested the list of suspected FemNazis and has volunteered to personally question these women himself. So looks like he will be right on top of things here. Very inspiring to see my fellow citizens (Christian, white, Republicans) taking an active hand in defending their communities and fighting back against terrorism.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: URGENT NOTICE TO ALL ADULT WOMEN IN THE FREEHOLD AREA!

I've visited six women today. Four of them were married so I took them to an undisclosed private location for interviewing. Well, it was private up until the point that maid or room service knocked on the door. I probed all of them with questions. Some resisted, but one young lady was particularily eager to submit herself to my line of questioning. At her house, she let me in through her back door. She had no problem with me doing deep analysis of her. I proceeded slowly at first to put her at ease, and once she was comfortable, I pounded her hard with questions. For that, I am extremely grateful. (By the way, this young lady now has her dues paid for the Ladies of Landover for the next six months).

I do have scheduled visits with a few more women tomorrow. So far, so good. Nothing too suspicious. I'll keep everyone abreast of the situation.

[HTannor]

Re: URGENT NOTICE TO ALL ADULT WOMEN IN THE FREEHOLD AREA!

Very good, Rev. Jim.

I'm sure many of those you will visit are eagerly wanting you to come.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: URGENT NOTICE TO ALL ADULT WOMEN IN THE FREEHOLD AREA!

Time's almost up, ladies. There are a few short hours to get your membership forms and fees to our office. Those of you we haven't heard from yet can expect to receive phone calls today with gentle reminders.

[Talitha]

Re: URGENT NOTICE TO ALL ADULT WOMEN IN THE FREEHOLD AREA!

Of course, those of us with a Life Membership have no need to worry about such things.
Not only do we have Salvation in this life but we are of course Guaranteed Salvation in the next.

[Lola Handcock]

Re: URGENT NOTICE TO ALL ADULT WOMEN IN THE FREEHOLD AREA!

Hold on I am on the way,forgive me I have not been feeling well all day.I will be there in 10 minutes.