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Sister Inga Chalmers Missing
Little Aphid Chalmers, the daughter of Sister and former Brother Chalmers until the nasty breakup, was taken to a social services shelter when her mother, Inga, did not return from her scheduled beauty appointment today.
"Mummy was upset and getting her hair done always makes her feel better," Aphid explained. "After waiting at home with the doors locked for four hours, I called the police and they brought me to a safe place with other abandoned children."
If anyone has knowledge of Inga's whereabouts, you are asked to please call the Freehold Police Department. As a service to this poor child, I hired detectives to investigate and will take this investigation nationwide if necessary. No need to thank me, everyone - just doing my duty as an intelligent, well-built, educated young man, certified in gnathology and soon to be a Ph.D. in Creation Science. It's what I do.
I urge you to pray for Aphid and Inga. If anyone can take little Inga in for a while, it would be wonderful. Not you, FM - I know you're busy.
"Mummy was upset and getting her hair done always makes her feel better," Aphid explained. "After waiting at home with the doors locked for four hours, I called the police and they brought me to a safe place with other abandoned children."
If anyone has knowledge of Inga's whereabouts, you are asked to please call the Freehold Police Department. As a service to this poor child, I hired detectives to investigate and will take this investigation nationwide if necessary. No need to thank me, everyone - just doing my duty as an intelligent, well-built, educated young man, certified in gnathology and soon to be a Ph.D. in Creation Science. It's what I do.
I urge you to pray for Aphid and Inga. If anyone can take little Inga in for a while, it would be wonderful. Not you, FM - I know you're busy.
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