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  • #1

    THE RAPTURE HAS STARTED! WHO HAS EGG ON THEIR FACE NOW ATHEISTS??

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33330516/ns/us_news-life/


    BOY SNATCHED FROM MIDAIR: AUTHORITIES BAFFLED

    In a shocking twist, the Lord has started the Rapture just before the start of the World Series. The Good Lord has started by taking those closest to Him both literally, as this one was snatched from a balloon nearly a mile high, and figuratively, as little children are those closest to the Lord's heart.

    Pack your bags friends: once the Lord descends through the next level of the atmosphere, we are off!!!!!!! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO LAUGH IN THE FACE OF ATHEISTS: I'LL BE OUTSIDE!

    PRAISE THE LORD THIS DAY HAS COME! NO MORE MORTGAGE PAYMENTS!!!!111
    Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
    Tags: balloon, balloon boy, colorado, fort collins, going gault, nanny state, who is john gualt
  • #2
    Re: THE RAPTURE HAS STARTED! WHO HAS EGG ON THEIR FACE NOW ATHEIS

    HALLELUJAH!

    (Just a couple of points: (i) Was he taken up 'naked' i.e. they found his clothes or do you advise dressing suitably for Heaven and (ii) I now regret all those insurance payments)
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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    • #3
      Re: THE RAPTURE HAS STARTED! WHO HAS EGG ON THEIR FACE NOW ATHEIS

      This story reminds me of another unfortunate incident.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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      • #4
        Re: THE RAPTURE HAS STARTED! WHO HAS EGG ON THEIR FACE NOW ATHEIS

        It appears that my humanly emotions got the better of me and I may have jumped the gun just a bit. In my haste I immediately assumed that the Rapture, which is still imminent, was occurring. I apologize for any false statements I may have made concerning the timing of the Rapture. While I may have been wrong this time, I will keep a discerning eye out, for one does not know the time or the hour, but it WILL HAPPEN praise Jesus.
        Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

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        • #5
          Re: THE RAPTURE HAS STARTED! WHO HAS EGG ON THEIR FACE NOW ATHEIS

          Ok, perhaps this wasn't the rapture after all. I think this was clear what was happening; outraged by the high taxes and creeping socialism this kid went Gault with this balloon. Really a classic example of libertarianism in action; by literally lifting himself up by his boot straps he created numerous jobs in his community's public safety and news services.

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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