[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

Thank you, Gentlemen. In retrospect, it was a preposterous request and I should have told them so on the spot. They will be the better for learning the Church's position.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

Thank you, Gentlemen. In retrospect, it was a preposterous request and I should have told them so on the spot. They will be the better for learning the Church's position.

Often, the best way for 'those people' to learn is to of just let them show up. But because of traffic, once less car/van the better, so telling them off in advance makes more sense for all the True Christians(tm).

And Heaven forbid, they think a Pastors parking spot next to the front door is for them!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

A sort of related issue came up when I was shaking hands at the Senior Citizen center in Urbandale. A very old man complained about the 27 steps up to the sanctuary. He asked why there isn't an elevator. This time I knew the answer.
I explained that there is a beautiful elevator that goes from ground up to the mega sanctuary. But, it is signed "For Pastors Only".
I gave him the business card of a gym I have a deal with told him this should take care of his problem. He thanked me and I moved on.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

I hope you washed your hands after touching him. Old people often have death on them. I recommend avoiding them when possible. But if you have to get close, a mask and gloves are wise.

[Petal]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

C

I explained that there is a beautiful elevator that goes from ground up to the mega sanctuary. But, it is signed "For Pastors Only".

you shore you not yappin abouts them stairs that take oldin catlick folk all the way down to hell? i were tolded that it be signeds "momma teresa express" an that sufferin be bootiful, excepts if you be a rich catlicks, cuz then you get to go to a hospitals wiv good medicines an stuff, it true

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

I find that arriving a few hours early for service eliminates this problem. Why, last week my van was the only vehicle in the parking lot when I arrived!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

That is right Jacob! Many savy Landoverians also arrive the night before in their Airstreams and set up in the RV section across the road. For a small fee, the Church jitney will bring them to and from services.
You might want to let Ofcr. Richards know that is you in the van and not some pot smoking fornicator. It would be wise to invite him in to search it.

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

That is right Jacob! Many savy Landoverians also arrive the night before in their Airstreams and set up in the RV section across the road. For a small fee, the Church jitney will bring them to and from services.
You might want to let Ofcr. Richards know that is you in the van and not some pot smoking fornicator. It would be wise to invite him in to search it.

Funny story about that, actually. A few weeks ago, he pulled me over on my way to Church. He thought I was a rapist because I was driving a van, so he wanted to make sure I was marrying the harlots who victimized me. Boy, was he in for a surprise when all he found in there was piles of Chick Tracts for handing out to the unsaved! Glory!

[Nobar King]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

Please be cautious when parking on the north side of Elijah St. There is a sharp drop-off and no sidewalk. You should park with your wheels on the street, and remind your passengers to be careful when exiting the vehicle.

[Nobar King]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

[Nobar King]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

Please remember to tell your friends that parking at the Church parking lot is reserved for Church members only, and their guests, when visiting the Church, ONLY. Using the parking lot while you are shopping or dropping your kids off at school is not welcome.

[Nobar King]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

Sometimes parking is the biggest problem of all:

[Nobar King]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

I just noticed a new parking sign as I passed by Freehold drug and liquor. I didn't have time to stop to take a picture. It was a spot reserved for "families with children". What is up with that??? People are always complaining about the obesity epidemic, so shouldn't those families be required to park in the farthest spots? So that the kids can at least get a little bit of exercise? And what's the point of having a family parking spot in front of a liquor store?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

I just noticed a new parking sign as I passed by Freehold drug and liquor. I didn't have time to stop to take a picture. It was a spot reserved for "families with children". What is up with that??? People are always complaining about the obesity epidemic, so shouldn't those families be required to park in the farthest spots? So that the kids can at least get a little bit of exercise? And what's the point of having a family parking spot in front of a liquor store?

Maybe they need brandy because the baby is teething.

Oh, and something from the drugstore side to rub on the baby's gums.

Tell me, does the whole family have to be present? What if I have three children but they are at home?

[Nobar King]

Re: Parking should not be a problem:

If you are ever cursed to visit Australia, don't park your car next to a raging river.

Or, if you do, make sure your car is well insured!