$$$Reward for lost pet$$$

[Des]

Rufus the weasel, lost on or about April 26.


Color: Rust with white underbelly.


Size: About a foot long.


Answers to Rufus by looking in your direction, hissing, and continuing to do whatever he was doing.


Likes: Chickens, eggs, electrical wires, rabbits, kittens, shiny things.


Dislikes: Everything else.


Last seen: I had him with me in Bangkok, and am certain he was crawling around in Mariko's handbag while we were touring CERN. Haven't seen him since.


If found, please do not approach. Toss him a chicken neck or your car keys & call me immediately.


$500 reward if alive.


God bless.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

$500 reward if alive.

Uh, is there a "not alive" reward?

[Roland]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

Uh, is there a "not alive" reward?

Yes. As it seems to have been fried, pretty well done, you could eat it.

My condolences to Des.

[Des]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

Yes. As it seems to have been fried, pretty well done, you could eat it.

My condolences to Des.

What? Ohhh, this is worse than when my dearly departed Missus drank a bottle of my best scotch while overdosing!

Poor little Rufus. Poor sweet little Rufus who only bit what he loved!

[Roland]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

What? Ohhh, this is worse than when my dearly departed Missus drank a bottle of my best scotch while overdosing!

Poor little Rufus. Poor sweet little Rufus who only bit what he loved!

Hello Des,

I am sorry for your loss. Perhaps it might offer some consolidation to know Rufus probably didn´t suffer long. The news article mentions he was transformed in what they call ¨charred remains, most likely from a small animal¨. Rufus most likely never knew what hit him.

Kind regards,

Roland

[Basilissa]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

Likes: Chickens, eggs, electrical wires, rabbits, kittens, shiny things.

Well, then at least he died in what he would have considered a weasel paradise:

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

Did Rufus have a conductive palladium collar by any chance? If so, there's a chance he may have emerged in the future. Keep your eyes peeled.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

Stephen Hawking probably saw Rufus wandering around searching for his human. Scared and afraid he was an easy victim. And as we all know retards have pleasure in animal cruelty. Hawking lured refus into the particle collider and pushed the button. I don't have proof for this but a voice in my head tells me its happened that way.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

So sad to hear about your loss Brother Des - they are one of the most lovable of God's creatures.

We used to use weasels for home remodeling projects using "Rent a Weasel" (not the Democrat politician kind that Donald Trump used to get his permits approved). Drill small holes into the ceiling rafters, tie a pull string around the weasel's collar, and wave a KFC drumstick in the other hole and we could get all the CAT-5 and other cable pulled without much drywall patching at all.

[Des]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

Thank you all for your sympathy. If it turns out that Rufus did die at CERN, I can't help but feel he served a roll in God's Grand Plan. Those scientists needed to be brought down a peg or two, what with their trying to claim God is just a particle and all. Perhaps the hand of little baby Jesus was guiding Rufus' surprisingly sharp teeth, whispering "This'll show 'em who's the boss!" in his tiny ear.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

Funny story, I once lost a gerbil for several days. The doctors found the little varmint in my... actually, that's not very funny. I retract that.

[Toilet Brain]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

You kept him in a handbag!? That's animal abuse!

[Des]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

You kept him in a handbag!? That's animal abuse!

Says the baby murderer.

[Toilet Brain]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

Says the baby murderer.

I never killed babies and stop deleting my posts!!!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: $$$Reward for lost pet$$$

I never killed babies and stop deleting my posts!!!

Nobody is deleting your posts. If a post vanishes here, from time to time the obvious conclusion is that Jesus has taken exception to the post and acted accordingly.

Luke 4:35 And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him. And when the devil had thrown him in the midst, he came out of him, and hurt him not.

YIC