My first day as an undocumented editorial board member

[Social Construct]

After the word "abolish", my favorite word it "undocumented". So, now that I have become an editorial board member by showing up to a meeting and a half, it's time to make some editorial changes at the FhT&L.

First, the incident outside O'Malley's last night was not a "stabbing", it was undocumented surgery.

The undocumented surgeon was not a "drug dealer", but an undocumented pharmacist. There was no mob threatening to lynch him, there was a group of peaceful protestors discussing whether to abolish him with an undocumented punishment. The pharmacist did not escape and hide by breaking into a home and taking a hostage, he became an undocumented roommate in an undocumented relationship. As for the arson, that was an undocumented bonfire.

Next meeting: how to include more uses of the word "abolish".

[Sally Paulson]

Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member

When a migrant ship sinks, can we call that an undocumented swimming lesson?

Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member

Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."

You know, I think his face already fits every boot out there. It's like a one-size-fits-all face.

[Basilissa]

Re: My first day as an undocumented editorial board member

Siri, add to shopping list "a heavy boot with a cleated heel in the exact size and shape of a certain college students' face."

You know, I think his face already fits every boot out there. It's like a one-size fits all face.

This is an interesting issue, but what concerns me the most is the following: the brainwashing this poor soul exhibits, is that an innate behavior, or is this the effect of enrolling in Wannabe Hipster 101 class at some liberal college?